Your best 18 hole score

Yes, I always count penalty strokes. And since my son and I typically have lunch on the line when we play, we count all the shots ... no picking up and "put me down for an 8." Some double-digit numbers get on the scorecard.

Our only concession to our lousy golfing ability is we do allow one mulligan per round for a bad tee shot.

 

I can't imagine walking that course. Several of the holes are way far apart, and there's a lot of elevation change for being right next to the lake. I was glad to have a cart.

 

So awesome.

When working at the Telegram, my wife and I rented a duplex that backed up to the 12th hole at Northgreen Country Club (which actually used to host the ACC Men's Tournament). It was a long par-4 dogleg, so our place would get peppered with balls every day. I still have about 500 in a plastic bin.

One night after dinner, I decided to take a little bucket and practice my 7-iron from about 140 yards. I had at least 40 balls on the green when suddenly out of nowhere, here come two golf carts up the fairway. Of course, it's the club pro and three of his guys, trying to get in a quick round before dark.

He first yelled at me for "not using the practice area." Then when he realized who I was, he yelled at me in mock seriousness for "how lousy my coverage of Northgreen was."

Next time I was in the clubhouse, I apologized and he said, "No problem. I needed to make an example of you to my guys."

 

One day in the mid-'80s was going to be a "never again" kind of day.

4-over 76 at Sunset Golf Club in Middletown, Pa. I'd normally card 95-100.

I just hit everything on the screws that day, especially the drives. On No. 10, I faded my drive off a hill 320 yards to the green and putted for eagle. On No. 12, my 150-yard fairway approach stuck 4 inches from the hole. This happened as the Sunset pro passed by in a golf cart. Knowing my game, his eyes got a little bigger.

Then on the par-3 13th, I drove to the left of the green, leaving a hedge of low shrubs between me and the hole. I punched it lower than I wanted. And it somehow went unscathed through the shrubs and rolled into the hole from 15 yards.

Looking back, I probably could have done better than 76 with that sort of luck.

 

The only time I ever golfed was also the only time I ever dropped acid. I cannot remember the score.

 

Bethpage Black (white tees) 84 in about 30 rounds.
74 at home CC a simple converted corporate course.
120 kiahwah at lone attempt

 

I have also had the opportunity to play a bunch of courses that are way, way out of my league, including Congressional Blue, Kinloch, Innisbrook Copperhead and Forest Highland's Canyon Course in Flagstaff. Lately, I've been playing places that suit my ability a bit more and it's been a lot more fun.

I did slice my drive into the drink on 15 at Copperhead. When I went to where it crossed into the penalty area to determine my relief area, an alligator popped out of the water and I was like "NOOOOPPEE" Went a little more back on the line than I probably wanted to...

 

If only some of us could say the same as we're tallying up scores that look like what diving judges gave Greg Louganis ...

 

77 is my personal best, but the finish I’ll never forget was the first time I had a legit chance to break 80.
Needed to finish par-par for 79. Drop a 40-foot putt at 17 for birdie.
Now, feeling full of myself, I put my second on the par-4 18th in a greenside bunker, about six inches from a 9-inch vertical face. I know I have no chance to hit it out, but my chance at 79 is probably gone if I take an unplayable. I swing and the ball hits the steep face of the bunker, pops in the air and falls into the spot from where I just hit. I take another swing and the ball slams into the face again, then caroms back and hits my leg. Now in a full Jean Van de Velde meltdown mode, my next try clears the face of the bunker, all of the green and a creek behind the green.
Thought I might shoot 79; ended up at 89.
Every time I see that bunker I feel queasy.

 

I count all my strokes. Just the way I learned how to play the game.
If you want to talk about proudest rounds... mine would be a 90 at Torrey Pines South in 2006 or 2007, wish I’d saved the card, light W wind and we had an early time so the fairways were damp and the rough was like hitting out of a swamp. The ice plant rough was at least a 1.5 stroke penalty. My putting was incredible, usually my strong point, and I kept it reasonably straight. Above the hole is a bad idea at TPS. Played in early March and stayed at Coronado Hotel. The room was only something like $165. What a deal, bought 2 hats and a golf shirt at the hotel. My wife and I showed up in shorts and golf shirts and the other twosome were from San Diego and they wore long sleeves, long pants and quilted vests. The lady had insulated gloves she wore for most of the front nine. When they met us on the 1st tee she said “Let me guess, Canadians?” We all laughed like hell and really enjoyed their company.
One of the best 5 rounds I’ve ever played.

 

That put you eleventy clubs over the 14-club limit ...