Colonoscopy Playlist

I had it a year ago. You better be ready to sing at a certain point in the procedure. Best of luck.

 

Somewhere I have the photo they gave me, showing that I was clean as a whistle. In other words, a perfect asshole.

 

They’ve got me doing a TWO-DAY cleanse. Suddenly, that old George Brett clip isn’t as funny as it used to be.

 

I sort of woke up, but was still so wonderfully high that I didn’t care.

 

After a couples drinks of the colon blow, you don't have to push it.

You become a Michael Murphey song: "Flowing Free Forever."

 

As an old X-ray tech - take my advice. Do everything they say and drink every ounce of that nasty colon cleanse they give you or your colon images will be somewhat obscured and less than clear. The result will be doing another one in a year.

Generally, they put you under, and once the nurse anesthetist sees that the doc is ready, s/he'll push a mix of Fentanyl and Versed, and you'll be out like a light. Versed means you won't remember a damn thing before the recovery room.

 

If you’re into country music:

 

Man I haven't thought this hard about butt songs since I was 12.

 

It is a deeply humbling experience.

But if you've got it in the family charts there's no way around it.