Colonoscopy Playlist

Colonoscopy Playlist: Band name alert.

 

The last time I was under, I sorta woke up in a communal step-down ward and announced (loudly) to my sister, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY GAVE ME BUT IT *FUCKED* ME UP!” to the amusement of nurses and other patients.

I still run into nursing staff that ask me “Aren’t you that guy who...?”

 

BTW, in recovery, they will tell you to fart. I really mean, command you to fart.

 

Your remark about writing on your body reminds me of the time I was having shoulder surgery. I had read multiple stories of surgeons operating on the wrong body part, so I wrote “Yes” on my shoulder being operated and “No” on my other shoulder in black magic marker.

The prep nurses were actually quite annoyed about it because they had to take time to scrub my notes off. Everyone else was fine, including my recovery room nurse, who was a saint as I was literally farting in her face. I kept apologizing, but she said she was used to it.

 

They mark the limbs "yes" and "no" as part of the checklist for amputations, or they damn well better, anyhow. On something like a shoulder you'll be awake during your O.R. setup, so you'll see if they cover or prep the wrong shoulder.

And yes, you'll probably fart like a bull afterward, and yes, just do it. It's routine for those nurses, and if you don't you'll have gas pains. Just be glad you're just getting scoped instead of having a barium enema and imaging. Not only do they fill you up with chalk water but they blow your colon full of air so the walls of the colon show better.. You ain't felt gas pains till one of those, and while they may give you something they don't put you out. They need you to be awake for "Roll over on your left side". That's a whole lot easier than trying to roll a patient around and position them, especially if your patient is a land whale.

 

One note ... or three octaves?

 

Hey, if you can do it, go for it. It will amuse the nurses.

 

Thanks for the memory. I'm thinking about my Mom now. She died 30 years ago. I remember being in with her after a surgical procedure and having this little Filipino nurse saying, "Fart missus. You need to fart. C'mon missus, you gotta fart."

 

I may never trust a fart again.

 

My wife went for a colonoscopy. The doctor recommended a clinic where he would do the procedure. Both the doctor and the clinic were in network.

After the surgery my wife said she had never seen so many people in the operating room. It turns out there were two anesthesiologists. I am not sure why two anesthesiologists were needed. The each billed us $2,800as an out of network charge. I found out that the clinic and the anesthesiology clinic had the same taxpayer ID. Which means they were under the same ownership. They split the bills between the clinic and the anesthesiologists so they could charge an exorbitant price.

My wife called the doctor who performed the surgery and never got a call returned.

The insurance company originally paid $150 for the anesthesiologists because it was a non-PPO. I have contacts who have are influential in the award of the health insurance contract and they pressured the insurance company into paying about $4,800 and I was out of pocket $800.

But I have the following questions.

Would some person making 40K know you to contact to get the insurance company to pay? Or would they have to max out a credit card and pay the $5.450 off with interest for God knows how long? Do tricks like this lead people not to get preventive care and increase the risk of serious disease?

End of rant.

 

Everyone missed the obvious lead track.

 

One day through the prep. I feel like the Oregon Trail kicked my ass.