Please allow me to interject my feelings about Mother Nature

Dallas only having thirty snowplows is one of those facts that sounds like a joke, but isn’t.

I’d assumed they could retrofit their garbage trucks quickly.

 

I hate this.

Tornado touched down in Ocean Ridge Plantation (EDIT: just across the North Carolina border from Myrtle Beach) early this morning. At least three dead, 10 injured, people still trapped in their homes but emergency workers were evacuated because of multiple gas leaks. I imagine they'll find more once it gets light out.

 

Yawn. Currently 46 degrees and full of power in my NC home. Somehow we're within shouting distance of all the cold . . . but not getting any of it. 200 miles directly west it's 25 degrees colder.

 

All of this reminds me of Super Bowl XLV in Dallas Arlington North Texas.

Spur of the moment trip for the week; crashed at the O.G. Webby's place. I wanted to save a few more bucks and use airline miles, so I flew into OKC and rented a car there ... figuring a 3-hour road trip wouldn't be bad.

Wrong.

Three hours turned into six hours of pure, focused hell. Cratered ice for the entire stretch of I-35 until I hit the Texas border. As I was passing the WinStar Casino just before the border, I was about 500 yards behind a semitruck when I saw it slowly begin to fishtail ... yep, it's going to do a 180.

Sure enough it did ... and there was no way I could safely stop, so I eased way over to the right and passed on by. Thankfully the semi slowly slammed into the concrete median and stayed upright ... "Sorry, buddy, but looks like you'll be OK."

Once I got into Texas, the interstates weren't too bad all things considered. Side streets were shit as to be expected.

The only two times where my hands hurt so bad after driving were then and driving U.S. 41 along Lake Superior outside of Houghton during a blizzard. I'd never been so thankful to be in Baraga at the Best Western after that 90-minute drive (normally 30 minutes). I'm surprised we didn't end up in Portage Lake.

 

Roads are covered in ice and snow. 16 degrees with a wind chill of 4. This is not the life I signed up for in suburban Birmingham.

 

Despite growing up along the Ohio-Michigan border, I’m an overly cautious driver in the snow. Ever since I did a 360 across three lanes of traffic in a Ram Air Trans Am at 18, I don’t enjoy drifting for fun and always drive compact cars (but will slam through piles of snow at pretty good speeds to stay going and enjoy when guys overcompensating think their jacked up trucks will still go 55 mph on ice.). I’ll leave hours early to get where I’m going. But I always get where I’m going.

 

Maybe if we throw paper towels at Texas, they can burn them for heat.

 

“If i shoot every one of my guns at the same time, the heat will raise the house’s temperature 25 degrees.”

And the math might actually work out in some cases!

 

Two people have died in the Houston area because they started a car in an enclosed garage in an attempt to use it as a heat source.
I hate they are dead, but how clueless do you have to be?

 

I’m much more sympathetic. It’s something that is taught from a young age in the north. I can’t imagine it’s something they even think about.

Edit: Didn’t read “heat source.”

Okay, that’s bad.

Warming up a car, I’d understand them forgetting. We’ve all forgotten to open the door for a couple minutes before hurriedly hitting the opener.

 

PRO TIP: During Katrina I turned the burners on the kitchen gas stove on for heat. Didn't work, but the condensation it caused made the walls of the adjoining room look like they were crying.

 

BREAKING: Texas Governor Abbott calls Trump for help, believes Trump is still President.