Maybe they should R E A D the submitted content for Student of the Week before printing?

Trapper Keepers were the shit. They carried such promise, and by the second week of school, they were dinged up, disorganized and at the bottom of the desk or locker.

 

The thing I always hated was that we had to make paperbag covers for our school books because 1. I liked how the books looked without the bags, and most importantly 2. It was a pain in the ass to have to make the covers.

 

Book covers were everything. How could you pledge your undying love for ______ if you DIDN'T WRITE IT ON YOUR BOOK COVER?

 

Or your favorite hard rock bands.

DOKKEN ROOLZ

 

When I was 14 you could have blindfolded me and I'd have a brown bag book cover filled with typographically perfect band logos in under 10 minutes.

(Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Fates Warning, Testament, Overkill, Metal Church, Nuclear Assault, Suicidal Tendencies)

Dokken...thought George Lynch was cool, but couldn't openly admit as much on a book cover.

 

And then there's that time in elementary school when you suddenly realize lunch boxes decorated with your favorite cartoon characters are for "little kids" and you're fine with a brown bag. Loved my Speed Buggy and Fat Albert boxes.

 

Kids today don’t know what it’s like to open a lunchbox thermos on a Monday and discover mom forgot to replace Friday’s milk.

 

My son carries his lunch about 2-3 times a week. And yes, he has forgotten to finish his lunch Friday, leave the lunch bag in his bag over the weekend, and because of the pandemic, he didn't go back to school until Tuesday. Then he got to school and saw his lunch bag and so he didn't get lunch at school, opened up his bag and was greeted with a half-eaten 4-day-old Lunchable & a cut up apple! LOL
He's better at emptying his lunch bag now!

 

Listen to this faux thrash metalhead shit. Overkill! Metal Church! Nuclear Assault! And there you are in your room bopping along to "Dream Warriors."

 

I once opened up a Thermos (is that a proper noun? it feels like it should be) only to find it'd broken and my drink was submerged in shards of glass. Glass Thermoses. WTF.

 

NGL, "Dream Warriors" and "Alone Again" got played more than I will ever admit to.

"Mr. Scary," though...that still gets cranked to this day.