Thoughts and Prayers: The Religion Thread

This is more an indictment of organizations than the people who are avoiding them. The first two questions any new person in Nashville is asked: 1.) Where do you go to church? and 2.) What's your zip code?

"Are we tribal?" This question came from a minister at an ecumenical thingie.

"Yes." I said.

"How do you know? It's not like you're a paleontologist or something."

Dear God. Someone, please take away his word-a-day calendar and look a little harder at why services were mostly half empty before the pandemic.

Some phrases that really need to die in a fire before they are uttered again at church:

"There are churches closer to you."
The closest Episcopal church to me was helmed for a long time by a priest who wanted to share his love of George Bush on the church blog and had some interesting ideas about a woman's place in Jesus' Kingdom. The men get to go to pastor's study. The women get to cook for the men. I love to cook, but I cannot be held responsible for what I do if I'm not allowed to engage in serious scriptural inquiry because I have a woo-woo instead of a pee-pee.

"We'd love to have you work in the nursery!"
During church. While all the parents are busy getting the Jesus snacks and wishing the peace. No. I love children and am thinking of doing something less dangerous and kid-centric when I am paroled from plague lockdown. It does not include smiling while some vinegary suburbabot drops off her screaming crotchfruit with a full load. Did I say no? No.

"Rilly? Summa mah favrit peepul ore Joos! Did yew know Joos get a speshul payuss? That means yur Deddy's in Heaven!"
Yay Jews! If they don't have fried chicken livers and reruns of The Prisoner and The Avengers in heaven, he might put in for a transfer. If he got a special dispensation for anything, it was for tolerating my weird taste in music. He never knew if he was going to hear The Dead Kennedys or Amy Grant during road trips.

 

Is the lack of community because of the transient nature of society? If you have children under the age of 17 living in your house, your life and your community revolve around them. At least that’s what we felt like. School activities, school sports, travel sports were out community. We didn’t identify with a political community or a special interest community. I know we were excluded from certain circles of being close friends with people because we are Jewish. Though completely unreligious Jews. We are crab feast and bacon Jews.
depending on your job, that could be your community. The larger the employer the more likely your community revolves around your work friends. We don’t live in small towns where everyone e stays there for 20 years. School districts are constantly being redrawn to create a better class picture full of diversity. Kids could go to 2 elementary schools, 2 middle schools and 2 high schools and never move.

 

Strangely enough when it comes to congregation sizes I am in the camp of noted theologian Rebecca Martinson. I would rather be part of a group of 100 or so who really are involved and want to learn more and try to live changed lives than 400 who view it as a social obligation and networking opportunity.

 

Do we as a society know how to belong to a group anymore? Not a group of friends, but a group, group?

My conversations with my parents these days have usually included updates on family friends from the past. I noted in one conversation that most of our "family friends" seemed to be the same faith - even more so, they all seemed to live pretty close to us. My parents said, well we all met at church, in the crying room at Mass (where you take kids so the adults can hear but the screaming kids won't disturb the proceedings). Some these friends drifted away from my folks - kids move away, parents moved away, but also it seemed that my parents would bring up their politics more and more as something that kept them away and its odd because I remember ZERO political discussion back in the day during weekends or vacations together, parties, and other outings. A weird deal.

 

In the months before You Know What happened, I started working on being more intentional with this stuff in a couple of areas. I started with a book study at church even though I didn’t really know anyone in the group very well. And I resolved to get more involved with the supporters group for our local USL club even though soccer isn’t one of my biggest sports. I had even gone so far as to put a deposit down for an away game weekend to carpool up to Memphis before the world collapsed.

I know I’ll need to start doing stuff like that again, but I can already tell the muscle memory isn’t there.

 

The biggest key to me returning to church and getting more deeply into the faith was being invited to a series of events that touched briefly on aspects of being Catholic, but mostly was group discussion. For my entire life Church had always been a monologue. The only time they wanted to hear what was on mind was all the bad things I had been up to. Now there seems to be a lot more avenues. I participated in a small group that watched a video series and discussed it and hearing others have the same ideas or misconceptions about things - and how the faith and teachings fit into our lives - the other six days of the week has really made the whole thing more interesting to me.

 

That's how I'm starting to feel about the Anglican/Episcopal Church. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down and we're supposed to be obedient sheep who are thankful for church, clergy, and the beliefs that drive them. We're not supposed to think too hard about any of it. When the livelier minds don't get nourished or seen, they leave. Every time this happens, I get the sad feeling I'm going to be next and yet I hang in there.

In the interest of disclosure, I started looking for a community of faith a few months before the pandemic hit. I had already slacked off because it was starting to feel like a series of job interviews. I see why people go for the chain fundie churches, they're friendly places where no one is a stranger. People who are vulnerable are going to find their tribe in those former malls and movie houses. I need to be with people who share my values.

I'm glad to read the RCC is starting to listen. One of my best buddies has a little girl who has been telling their priest she wants to grow up to "sprinkle babies." She's obsessed with Dolly Parton and tried o find her church one Sunday morning. She happened upon Pastor Carol at West End UMC. Ben said she yelled for everyone to come because "That's a girl! That's a girl, Daddy!"

Their priest and the grands have been supportive. Their view is if the church doesn't get with the times, they risk losing C. to a church that will allow women behind the pulpit. Everyone is holding out hope.

 

Oscar, is your particular Episcopal diocese more rigid than most? I really don’t have very much experience with them, other than a college friend who now does children’s ministry down in the Panhandle and another who is married to the dean of the Kansas City cathedral. Both describe places that seem very open and comfortable with heterodox thinking, frankly to the point I’ve sometimes wondered if they aren’t really Unitarian Universalists with a better costume budget.

 

Zip code? Now that is tribal.

 

Where everybody knows your dog's name... (courtesy of my mother's Turnip Truck Grocery Cheese Friend)

 

The last progressive priest in Nashville ended up jumping ship for the FUUN Church. I really love the Anglican Communion. It was where I discovered the way my spiritual compass spun. The liturgy, the construct of the church, everything just feels right.

This is inspired.

 

If you know, I'm all ears. My organizations have been hemorrhaging membership for years. I've been to more meetings about "How do we get people to come/join?" than you can imagine. I don't know the answer. I wish I did. I'm about as far up the totem pole as it comes not just at the local but state level. People look to me for answers. I just shake my head and say, "Dude, I don't know."