Retirement?

will never retire

 

Shoot - had a Zoom chat with my sibs the other day about our folks and how they are doing in retirement - both of my sibs are public employees already thinking about the Big R - meanwhile - updating my files and I added my first "Retirement" tab on a file. Scary stuff.
BTW - I imagine several on this thread have gone through it with their folks but my parents are in that danger zone where they have a hard time admitting to themselves and others how vulnerable they are - technologically, financially, medically etc. They are in a good place, but they need to acknowledge that there are some things they need to "let go" of. We've already found that several people, groups, etc. have taken advantage of their current state where my parents kind of "automatically" respond to requests and "bills" without really thinking about if the money is owed or whether they really "know" the person asking for help. I'm guessing there are several in their peer group that still suffer from peer pressure and don't want to admit that they can't really afford some of the things they are asked to pay - or change long-standing habits.
Curious what other SJ members have experienced with this.

 

Retirement can be scary under certain circumstances - - declining health or limited assets or lack of friends/family for socializing purposes. However, if planned for, retirement need not be scary at all.

I retired in 2001; my wife retired in 2008. We have both enjoyed retirement and the travel opportunities it has afforded us - - until COVID's intervention in 2020. But it takes planning that starts more than a year or so before the time.

The biggest piece of advice I would give is for someone in their late-30s to early-40s is to set up your finances such that you have your mortgage paid off in full at the time of your retirement - - or very close to the time of your retirement. [Full disclosure: I retired in June 2001 and paid off my mortgage in Jan 2002.]

One other bit of advice as you get to be 50 or so ... Find a financial advisor you trust and you enjoy working with. Be sure that person is at least 10 years younger than you are because you do not want him/her to retire just when you do. You want him/her to still be there to help you and your family in retirement when you are making adjustments to that situation in your life.

 

In my situation, I frankly don’t have any money. I got wiped out in a divorce and and still digging out from enormous (unsecured) debt and have a 401(k) that is still in five figures. I’m in my early 50s. If all goes well, my mortgage will be paid off a few months after my 67th birthday, and that’s pretty much the thing on which I’m hanging my hat at this point. Honest question: Would a financial advisor actually help me, given what little said advisor would have to work with?

 

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a financial advisor nor have I ever worked in any field that is related to financial advising!

Having said that, many financial advisors begin their careers and begin to create their client book with something as simple as cold calls. Some of them are not successful in the field and get weeded out; others are competent and make a successful career in the field. I use that as a way to say that there are financial advisors out there who would be happy to take you on as a client. Your challenge is to find an advisor who is competent and who you can work with collaboratively.

The fact that you have a target of being mortgage-free near retirement time is a plus.

 

It's fucking wonderful.

 

As the youngest kid in my cousins (and I have an older sister (18 mos.)), I grew up and had the mindset I was always the youngest, so everyone else took care of family gatherings, etc., I just joined in.

About 8 yrs ago (I was nearing 50, parents getting late 70s), my wife said "hey you need to be the grown up for your parents, get more involved in their medical stuff, financials, etc." That was an eye opener, I never thought of taking care of my parents. Well since then, I've made sure I'm the primary point of contact for all medical things for my parents, I know exactly where all of their finances are, etc. I do it with the mindset that I'm the parent now, but I'm not condescending or anything towards my parents. They have really appreciated it, in all aspects. I guess they have comfort in being taken care of in some respects. (as I said in another thread, I'm in charge of liquidating one of their homes, selling the house, the contents, spare autos and thankfully I'm almost done.)

I am fortunate that my parents have planned well so they don't need any $$ from my sister or me and they have more than enough to enjoy their retirement.

In any event, I'd encourage everyone to keep an eye on their parents' situations and don't be afraid to ease in and take over. It truly is the circle of life.

 

There really are three phases the "just retired and enjoying it" part, the treacherous part where they have to accept that they're vulnerable, and the part where they require care and know it. The middle part is tough. Driving, spending. When I tried to explain to my parents over the phone how to turn the SAP off on their TV they both said "we can't do that, we'll pay someone to come in and do it." I recognized both their "need" to just keep up with their routines and their inabilities to adapt or learn new things. Glad neither are into Facebook.

 

My parents are in their late 70s and are doing OK keeping track of the bills and stuff. But they've both been having some health problems, so lately, when they've been going to see a doctor, generally they call me and put me on speakerphone so I can hear the appointment and ask the doctor any questions.

 

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it will be “nice” but something that will prove helpful about being permanently switched to remote work is that when my parents become less independent in a few years (both turn 65 this summer) I’ll be able to ditch this lease and move in to help them without missing a beat at the “office.”

 

When my dad retired, he had someone ask him about it.

"Did it take you a while to get used to it?," they said.

My dad said, "I retired on Friday, and by Monday, I was used to it."

He thought it was fucking wonderful, too.

 

I could be retired right now. I can't be retired. I have too much left to do on this planet, too many stories left to tell. My husband is retired after 20 years at Cisco. He doesn't understand why I won't stop working.