2020, uh, 21, uh, who knows Tokyo Olympics thread

Guinea-Bissau and Papua New Guinea are over in the corner giving them the stink-eye.

 

One of the things I'm hoping still happens is that Mike Tirico does the Omar Bongo bit when Gabon comes out.

 

Honestly, is it too late to add a Royal Rumble Steel Cage - Guinea-Off/Loser changes their name forever to the Games schedule? I'd watch that.

 

Copying and pasting from my own column, but sharing some Opening Ceremony Bingo "on thiiiiis momentous day" for the good of the group:


DIRECTIONS:

Give a piece of paper to each person in the room and make a 5x5 grid on it. Put the Olympic rings in the middle for a free space, then write random numbers from 1-40 in the others. When the event corresponding with the number in your grid happens, mark it down. First one to fill a row, column, diagonal or for the really adventurous, fills out the whole card, wins. Feel free to devise your own means of honoring 'medalists' during a commercial break.

1. Reference to World War II
2. Reference to 1964 Olympics, which were also in Tokyo
3. Reference to 1998 Winter Olympics, which were in Japan
4. Reference to director of this ceremony getting fired on Thursday for a Holocaust joke he made on Japanese TV in 1998
5. Reference to musical director of this ceremony who resigned this week after admitting to graphically bullying disabled kids in the 1990s
6. Reference to the organizing committee chairman who resigned in February for saying that women talk too much in meetings
7. Reference to "the playbook," the COVID mitigation rules everyone in Tokyo is required to follow
8. Reference to the delta variant of the coronavirus
9. Reference to the original design of this Olympic stadium, which resembled a bike helmet and would have cost a billion dollars before cost overruns.
10. Reference to IOC President Thomas Bach's 1976 Olympic fencing gold medal
11. Unaccompanied child singing or acting
12. Visible mistake by a performer in the artistic portion
13. Artistic display of the Olympic rings
14. Fireworks display
15. Reference to Simone Biles
16. Reference to Katie Ledecky
17. Reference to Allyson Felix
18. Reference to Michael Phelps, who isn't even competing in this Olympics
19. European team with garishly colored uniforms
20. Team with funny hats
21. Team whose flagbearer(s) is in a traditional costume (Bermudans in Bermuda shorts counts)
22. Person in parade who is wearing their mask incorrectly or not at all
23. Person in parade who has lollygagged so much the next country is ahead of them
24. Country whose name sign is in illegibly small print (Japanese text doesn't count)
25. NBC broadcasters make light joke at the expense of obscure or underdeveloped country
26. Reference to a disease OTHER THAN COVID-19.
27. Flagbearer(s) have to stop and untangle their flag
28. NBC fast-forwards through several countries to fit a commercial break in
29. NBA player shown on camera
30. Athlete mugging for TV cameras
31. Interview with American athlete waiting outside the stadium
32. "ROC" or other euphemisms for "Russia," which is shadow-banned from these games for doping … again.
33. Reference to anime
34. Reference to video games
35. Reference to Mount Fuji
36. Reference to the 2011 Sendai earthquake/tsunami/Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster
37. Flags being obviously propelled by hidden fans
38. Flag bearer a taekwondo athlete
39. Shot of torch relay outside the stadium
40. NBC-produced waste of time segment

 

Add: "For most of the athletes here, this is their victory lap."

 

You do wonder if WWII or Hiroshima is even symbolically part of the ceremony given how many Games Japan has hosted. Is LA going to do a reenactment of the Civil War? The Rodney King riots? OJ?

You forgot a couple on your list of "Opening Ceremony Bingo"
- Commentator making reference to something Korean or Chinese - NOT Japanese.
- Godzilla reference.
- Shohei Otani reference
- Explanation of why the order of countries doesn't seem to make sense
- Shots from family and friends watching at home not realizing the camera is live.
- Explanation of the time-difference.

 

The sequel to "Kilroy Was Here" is going to be incredible.

 

Please let NBC play Alphaville's "Big in Japan" as one of the bumpers.

 

Spinal Tap's "Sex Farm" was a chart topper in Japan.

 

Side note: "Turning Japanese" has nothing to do with Japan. At least the Divinyls avoided any doubts as to what they meant. (And that's a great Two For Tuesday double play.)

 

The order of countries doesn't make any sense!