First Go-Kart like driving Experiences....

Just read a newspaper (!) article that mentioned what was called "Malibu Grand Prix" in the early 80's;

that was the place where you got to drive go-karts that looked like Indy cars around the concrete/asphalt track for $X per lap. That was a blast as a kid. There was also the arcade where you played Space Invaders/Asteroids/etc. Did you ever go to one? Was there something similar?

This is something like what I drove:

History:

Malibu Grand Prix: When pint-sized cars were a big-time attraction

 

This place was and is a staple of Pigeon Forge and working-class beach towns across the South.

Family Fun Park | Go-Karts | Kid Rides | Arcade

The teenage attendants quickly found out at their peril that my younger brother struggled to distinguish between the two pedals when entering the pits.

 

The Tin Lizzy ride at Opryland USA. They were so lame it's a wonder I grew up to be a car guy*

*Which is why I wasted way too much money on a weekend at Skip Barber in Sebring a few years back.

 

Always had the dream of racing at Indy but lacked three important things: mechanical ability, money and talent. I remember driving at a go-kart track in Anaheim when I was 9 and could barely reach the pedals, but talked my grandmother into letting me try it. But I always used to imagine myself turning laps at the Brickyard: whether I was on my bike in the neighborhood, at the roller skating rink or on the bumper car track.

Early in my radio career, I was scheduled to take the Bob Bondurant High Performance class and do nightly updates as part of a barter deal for our sports talk show. Unfortunately, the station was sold and the show cancelled before we could make it work.

However, the new ownership worked a deal with the local Malibu Grand Prix to do a "DJs vs. listeners" promotion one summer. I've got the trophy downstairs somewhere for winning the series by a considerable time difference, because I had been out there with friends a number of times and understood the basic principles of how hard you could push them in the corners. If I had any money at all back then, I might have tried to talk my way into a Formula Ford and run SCCA weekends.

In Rocky Mount, they needed someone to test drive cars for their weekly automotive column, and wound up driving everything from mom vans and pickups to Corvettes and a Viper, which had so much torque that I looped it making a left turn out of the paper's parking lot when I gave it the same amount of acceleration as I would my Honda CRX. (I eventually took it out to the old airport runway where the police did their high-speed training. I got up to at least 120 mph before I scared myself enough to back out of it before I ran out of talent/brains.)

About 10 years ago, I casually mentioned to Tony Stewart how impressed I was with the three-quarter midgets that were running in central Indiana, and he immediately offered to sell me one. It took a considerable amount of effort -- and thinking, "Gwen's not going to think that's a good idea at all" -- before I politely declined.

My one major claim to fame was driving a Caroll Shelby Ford Mustang GT500 Super Snake pace car at Las Vegas in 2009 -- with Carroll Shelby in the passenger seat. We were SUPPOSED to be able to take laps on the track after Friday Cup practice. But NASCAR's tech guys were still setting up when the race queen roared by at 110 mph, and David Hoots immediately impounded the car until race morning. Before the race, I got to drive it out of the gate and onto the I-10 access roads with Shelby, and I never got it out of first gear because the damn thing could easily pull 55 mph before you hit the revs needed to shift into second. What could have been!

My younger brother, on the other hand, has spent time -- and more money than he probably should -- logging some time in the 24 Hours of Lemons series. I think the last time he ran was Road Atlanta before COVID. I'd have come down to watch if it was free. But they wanted something like $25 entry fee to watch beat-up Infinitis, Hyundais and Mazdas make more tire squeal than engine noise.

 

That was funny stuff. I remember that to max it on the Malibu track you had to basically floor it 100% at all times and just power brake it through the corners. Ah good times.... (I started hanging out when we were 16 until I went away to college.)

I too grew up thinking "I'm Mario" basically every time I was behind any wheel.

 

A good friend (and former newspaper reoprter) keeps a couple karts at a local track. I've driven some laps with them and enjoyed the drive, but it's hard to wedge my 230-lb. frame into them, especially with the protective gear the track requires. I need an XXL kart.

I've autocrossed cars on some racetracks and in some parking lots, but there's a lot of waiting around between runs. I lack the patience for that, especially on a summer day. It seems like such a waste of time.

The only professional driving school I've ever attended was the Bridgestone Winter Driving School in Steamboat Springs. The two day session involved some rally techniques like left foot braking and pendulum turns. It was great fun, and it got me interested in ice autocrossing with a local group on a nearby frozen lake for a number of years. Driving on ice is pretty awesome.

 

During my teen years we often went to Slick Track up the road in Gardena, where you raced go-karts on a slick oval track. So much fun.

 

Indoor tracks have that slick characteristic, along with high-torque electric motors. You can really hang the tails out.

 

This is all I got. A group of us went the Malibu GP. One guy is too smart for his own good and very demanding. The timer malfunctioned on his run. He started yelling at the "incompetent staff" and "broke down track" and a few other things. He was ejected from the track.
The rest of the gathering provided so much humor. Every time he said something, somebody would say, why would be believe a guy who got kicked out of Malibu Grand Prix by an 18-year-old?

 

My karting experience is limited to some low-end runs at some place in central Florida. Sebring it wasn't.

I know nothing about the mechanics of a car, but I used to enjoy picking people off one by one when I drove down the highway. That stopped after my first trip to D.C./Baltimore, where I realized Maryland drivers are much more aggressive and much more talented at overtaking. Ticket$ aren't cheap either.

I'm somewhat tempted to inquire into Skip Barber, but I can't see myself throwing away $10,000 on it.

 

That second photo is NOT Sebring.

 

When I was working as a one-man SE, right before I was hired, a pretty nice little racetrack (think of the racing equivalent of a baseball minor league Class A ballpark) was built. To get publicity, they decided to have a “celebrity night” where local politicians, the police chief, TV anchors etc. were invited to race each other. As the local SE, I was invited too. Naturally, I took them up on the offer.

The stock car that I was assigned to was cool. Climbed in through the window. Multiple seatbelts to the point where I could barely move. Except it had a standard transmission, and I very rarely have driven with a stick. So at the start, I stall out while TV people take off. Finally, after starting, I passed a car or two and ended up something like 11th out of 16. Cool time though.

That track quickly ran into financial troubles, and some other local corruption occurred and it closed down a few years later.

Then a few years later, a dirt track on the periphery of our coverage area also decided to do a “celeb night.” This time, I quickly suggested it would be better for me to have an automatic transmission car. One was provided, and after a slow start, I started passing cars left and right. The lead car started slowing down as it approached the finish line, I sped up and almost passed him. Ended up in second place, but everyone in the pits was gushing about how exciting I made the finish.