Youth Sports (i.e. the thing we all loved which parents have now ruined)

Northampton from the Eastern Shore. They were at Middlesex in the only game around these parts on Friday night.

 

Those small schools should love Single Wing. You get good angles for blocking (especially if you're out-manned) and there's awesome deception.

 

I used to coach HS football and we had a parent come to the game drunk and belligerent. Got so bad that we had to have a good sportsmanship conference with the PARENTS.
Oh and it was a corrections officer, so yeah.

 

I was a Karen in the stands at one of my nephew's rec league games.

350lb mum and nan screaming obscenities at nine-year-olds who are, well, they suck, but they're NINE, ferBaal'ssake: Git awf th' field! Trayash! Yer TRAYASH!

Me: Hey! Fatass pod!* Y'all think you can do better? Waddle down and volunteer to tap in!**

They called the police. I got a warning. They had to sit out the rest of the game after some of the parents told the police why that weird, angry ewe in a sweater yelled at them. I tried to avoid the bleachers after that.

*Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm down 200, so neener. They can't diet away stupid and mean.
**Kevin, Dale, and my mom: This is why you're still single.

 

Did you choke your dog with its leash, too?

 

I was at a boys state basketball tournament a few years ago, sitting with my wife, and a guy behind us is yelling at the refs to get the "sh*t out of yer eyes!"
Finally, I turned around and said, "you know, I've worked on this floor myself and every call you've vulgarly complained about has been the correct call."
"Yeah, who the f*** are you?"
"I'm the guy that's gonna call security and ask them to calm you down."
Right then, an usher comes down and says, "He's right. Calm down or we'll ask you to leave."
I sit down; at halftime the guy and his buddy leave. My wife leans over and goes, "Were you right?" (Thanks honey ...)

 

Even though I mock 11u teams that throw the ball a bunch, we throw it occasionally too! In fact we've actually thrown for more yards than our opponents this year - even though many of them line up in spread and throw it 10 or 15 times a game.

Also ... our right guard on this play ...

 

The guy who's 6-6, 325?

 

Nah that's our tackle, who is a super nice kid.

My son is our center - No. 56. He's been in the 90th percentile for height his whole life.

But our right tackle (77) is like 5-11, 220 and our right guard (53) is about 5-8 - they both make my son look tiny.

 

See it's teams like this sneaking adults onto the offensive line that are the problem. Lol. That's the biggest kid I've ever seen

 

We had to play two nationally ranked 11u teams and I swear they both have two kids like our tackle, and three other kids as big as our right guard along their line.

 

Us against the No. 10 11u nationally ... you see our big boy (in white). They've got a whole line full of them.