Were you a good athlete as a kid?

I think maybe the reason that Magic Johnson, as a high schooler or college freshman, was still comfortable farting around on the court with dumpy gumps like me, was that when the "big time" players arrived, the real good high schoolers and decent (or sometimes better) level college guys, he could fucking annihilate all of them any time he decided to play hard, too.

 

The worst skater in the NHL is an awesome, awesome skater.

 

And yet the yakkers will make it out like they can barely stand up on skates.

 

You ever see this story, Starman, about Magic coming to a pickup game? It's fantastic.



Growing up in a small town, you were expected to play all sports. I made waves in the household by not going out for football after 10th grade. Playing QB behind an offensive line that made every D-line look like the '85 Bears was no longer appealing. But all-conference, all-area in baseball and hoops. Basketball senior year I still have people back home talk with me about the playoff game when we almost upset the top team in the state, who went on to win the state tournament, back in the 2-class basketball days. I scored 26 (just private message if you want details on every one of those baskets from 29 years ago. No? Okay) but only 3 in the fourth and damn it I still think about that fourth quarter every other day. Then played Juco hoops and had a blast doing that.

My biggest sports regret though -- other than that final basketball game of course -- involves...tennis. Our school in a town of 2,000 didn't have tennis. The town itself had two courts. But I started playing at about 8 against dad and my friend across the street and got pretty good. Never had a single lesson but entered some summer tournaments as a teen and won a few. My senior year the coach from the neighboring town, whose kid I played against in summer tourneys, wanted me to play for their team. I would have seriously considered it, though only if I could have also played baseball for my school. I would have been dropped out of about four different wills in the family if I'd given up baseball. But we were figuring out how to make it work when the coach found out I wouldn't be able to do it because the state high school league would have made them take the enrollment of our entire school, not just me, which would have bumped them up a class.

The regret part comes from this: Starting the summer before my senior year, I started playing this kid in town who was three years younger and a hell of a player. He had a coach, private lessons, everything. I beat him quite literally like 80 straight times over the course of two years. But he kept getting better and better. Finally his senior year, when I was home from college, he beat me. That year he made it to the state high school tournament -- by the time he got to senior high, the rules had changed and he could go play for a different school while still taking classes at our hometown school. He went on to play D2 tennis and made it to the D2 national tourney several years.

And I, someone who never had a single lesson, practice session or coach, used to routinely kick his ass. So I definitely think I could have played D2 and who knows, if I'd actually taken it seriously and gotten coaching and known how to hold a racquet properly, a 6-foot-3 guy with a big serve and strong net game, maybe I could have played at an even higher level.

So while I still have weekly dreams at night that center around that final basketball game -- we never win in the dream either and I wake up pissed at my subconscious -- in my daydreams I was a 33-year-old who decided to get in shape, hire a coach, qualified for the US Open and knocked off Nadal in the opening round, stunning the sports world and setting me off on a path that ended with a loss to Fed in the Finals and 7 Lupica columns about me.

 

I played a member-guest at my buddy's very tony country club a couple of years ago. In one match, the other member's guest was about late 20s and had apparently played No. 1 at Miss. His game was ridiculous. It was not the longest course around so he hit hybrid off the tee at times and it went sizziling 260 down the pipe. (when he went to the big dog, yeah he could get it out there 300+ but like normal golfers, sometimes he'd miss) His touch around the greens was sweet; one time I hit a really good shot to 20 ft on a par 3, he was in the bunker and I'm feeling pretty good about winning the hole and he rolls it in from the bunker, 10 feet below the green, and I of course miss the putt. He said it all comes down to putting at his level.

Was playing with my buddy last week, he is a plus 2 and had 5!! birdies on a very tough track. On probably the #1 handicap hole, he missed left a bit and was 220 out and had to hit it below the tree limbs. He hits 4 iron to 15 and makes the putt. Walking to next tee I say "hey are you ho-hum about that shot or do you say 'that was a really good shot' and enjoy it?" He says "oh yeah that was a really good shot." So at least its not that easy for even them.

 

That Reddit story sounds exactly right. Magic wouldn't go to intramural gyms or rec centers just to beat up on hackers playing half court, but if people started getting delusions of grandeur, he'd turn it on for a minute or two, and holy shit.

Kinda like the film clips of Bob Cousy from "Blue Chips" and Jerry West from the Warriors youth camp from the 2010s: 70+ years old, and they still knock down a dozen in a row.

 

Also, I'm so goddamn jealous of you for that story. Magic's been my hero since I was five in 1980 and he had a pretty famous game that year, and 42 years later one of my dreams remains somehow, someway getting into a pickup game with Magic and being on the receiving end of one of his assists. Preferably a no-look dime of course after I break free on a backdoor cut or chug along and do my Worthy impression along the wing as he comes down the middle, but even him posting up and kicking out to me for a corner 3 would suffice. Time's running out though. I'm old. He's even older. Though like Cousy and West knocking down those shots, he'll probably still be able to find the open man even at 80.

 

Had a good memory from the early '90s when I covered colleges.
I spent the whole summer playing volleyball on the beach, so my skills were sharp. In August, UCLA women's volleyball coach Andy Banachowski invited the media to practice with the team in place of a media day. I accepted, as did a guy from the Channel 9 news. He showed up with a camera crew. Going from sand to indoors is a lot easier than going from indoors to outdoors. It takes just a few minutes to get used to being able to jump better and move easier.
We did a few drills. Then, for the hitting drill, it was two players aside. The ball was hit to me, I passed to the setter, who overset. She set the ball over the net. The girl on the other side went up to smash it, but I got an honest-to-goodness stuff block on her. Probably had 3 of those in my life.
It was awesome, but what happened later was even better. I was at my local pub that night and everybody was watching the Dodgers game on Channel 9. The game ended and the news came on. Right there in front of a bunch of friends in the bar, they showed the video of my stuff block.

 

When I was 14 or 15 a friend who attended St. Bona's showed up at our swim club with a guy named Matt Gantt. We got in a friendly pickup game and he showed us kids some amazing stuff and he wasn't even trying. He jumped center against Artis Gilmore in the 1970 Final Four semifinals and had 16 points.

 

This.
Early in my sports writing career we had a local kid come through who is still, 20 years later, one of the best high school pitchers I've ever seen. He wound up playing college baseball in the SEC, was a first round draft pick, and spent a few years in the majors as a relief pitcher with the Marlins.
He was a marginal major leaguer but he got there and stuck, which as we all know is no small feat. I interviewed him for a "where are they now?" story a few years ago and he talked about that. He said on his best day he was probably the 24th or 25th guy on the roster, and then he looks over and sees Miguel Cabrera doing his thing and it's humbling how easy that guy made it look.
Hearing that, thinking about the gap between even a very good high school player who will play college ball and a pro player is like trying to comprehend how long it would take to walk from Earth to Pluto.

 

Did you wrestle Bruce Baumgartner?

 

I covered AAA baseball for three or four summers, and the difference in talent between the guys who were going to the majors and the guys who were never going to the majors was always really apparent.