2023 NFL offseason thread

That's just going to happen. Kids do what kids do, and an accident can happen in a flash. Some are really bad, most are of the broken wrist variety. Boxer's fracture when some bonehead punches a locker. But I had a kid come in with a broken femur from a playground accident. That's car wreck territory, not something you get at the GP.

I'm more talking about thoughtless preventable stuff. As to your trampoline, it's also about rules and supervision. One at a time and the others spotting goes a long way all by itself.

 

You know that thing where two people bounce on a trampoline, and you get out of synch with the bounce and don’t spring up?

Jackson is going on 13 now, but he assures you: That is enough force to break a young leg.

 

When my son was around 11 he had a friend spend the night. When the boy’s parents came to pick him up the next morning we were showing them the house and went into the backyard to show them the pool. It was December and being a goofy kid, my son asked to jump in.
Everyone was laughing and the other boy asked to get in. I asked both parents if I could throw him in. Both nodded yes a couple times so I tossed him. Boy starts flailing in the water and his dad jumps in to get him, but couldn’t corral him. My ex is a former lifeguard so those instincts kicked in so she dove in and pulled them both to the steps to get out.
Everyone out, my exes’ outfit ruined and her glasses at the bottom of the pool, the parents admitted the boy wasn’t a strong swimmer. So why the hell did they tell me to throw him in?

 

I mean no disrespect with this, and I'm sorry this happened then, but the "Lil Kickers" jersey/shirt in that photo made me LOL. Chef's kiss.

 

A good friend of mine went to one of those trampoline places as an adult - some kind of team-building thing, I think - and absolutely destroyed her knee.

 

A neighbor of mine, who was an attorney who did insurance defense work, told me that a trampoline was just about the last thing you want to have on your property due to the liability risks.

 

The first reply to that tweet gave me my biggest laugh in weeks.

 

I went with my daughter a year or so ago and rolled my ankle pretty bad when I jumped on the trampoline and landed one foot on the edge of a hard area underneath a basketball net. Won't get me going on one of those things again even if it was awesome to bounce up and tomahawk dunk.

 

I obvs don't know them so I can't say they're fucking idiots, but given the scenario I'd lean toward that. Good grief.


As for the trampoline things, we had one and never had an issue. It had a net, which went against my every fiber of "By God, when I was a kid we didn't have nets!" but I didn't mind it. I saw friends get injured many years ago. I'm surprised more weren't injured or paralyzed on the trampolines, and the 20-foot high skin-searing chrome slides, swings and the spinning steel carousel of death that somehow was placed near a giant pine tree on our local playground.

Our son had a birthday party for his then 12-11/yo pals at a local Tramp-O-Hoop deal. Trampoline floors with basketball goals, dunking, all that stuff. It was fun until one kid hung his arm on the rim and snapped it. He turned green and gray, we called his mom, and the rest of the boys were like, "Dang, that sucks. See you later."

 

Maybe they were looking to save on food.