Mental Health

Brass tacks, Id like some mental health guidance for someone who has early stage 4 lung cancer and is losing his mind. No one to talk to. Wont piss down hill but no joke i keep waking up at 4 am with an anvil on my chest, anxiety or ptsd.

I thought I could deal with anything, but this shit is persistent and i cant cheer myself out of it.

Anyone got recommendations? They gave me xanax and i hate it, numbs me and blurs my vision.

EVERYTHING amiss in my going concern is cancer; that’s my mind fuck. A bump on my neck, oral thrush, a change in sense perception. Seriously fucked up shit. And smoking pot or drinking tequila is the only thing that quashed the thoughts — which then come back threefold the next day as hangxiety.

Only palliatives Ive settled on are exercise and cold showers. Any other tips?

I know i should get sober but that’s a dynamic that would impact so many other people’s lives as well.

Again, just feel like a burden. Like who needs my bullshit.

Never felt this adrift and will not lay on my wife or friends or loved ones as yet.

I genuinely respect the life experiences and feedback of people here. Some harrowing, insightful shit laid bare by strangers.

Thanks,
Boogie

 

I laud you wanting to protect the people you love. It is a lot. Not just for you. But know some of them probably are seeing you change. It’s ok to be selfish. It’s ok to talk.

If you’re afraid how they will react or affecting their mental health too much, you need to find a therapist. Because you are going through some shit which needs to come out. Then the guilt of burdening others makes it worse.

Take what I say or don’t. But my Cali heart goes out to you regardless.

Just to add, I don’t know the worth of group grief support, but maybe ask your doc? Some AA or NA thing where you can get sober and talk through your thoughts with someone?

 

Are the doctors attacking the damn thing yet or are they still doing that "surveillance" thingy?

 

Surveillance…

 

When it’s 2:37 am and I can’t get my mind to stop racing, I turn to the Calm app and put a meditation or a sleep story in my ears. In fact, gonna do that right now.

 

Does the hospital group you are going through have any resources to direct you to a group for cancer patients to meet and provide emotional support? It wouldn’t be a cure-all but it sounds like you could derive some benefit from talking through you experiences with people in the same boat (and who are willing to engage in real talk versus candy coating.)

As far as the Xanax, it is quite common for the first anti-anxiety or antidepressant people try to not be the best fit. Don’t be shy about advocating for trying something different. Just do it according to the doc’s guidelines and don’t freelance with that shit. And if you pursue better living through chemistry, the tequila will have to go or at least dial way back.

 

I echo this. Seek help from a professional therapist, especially if there’s one that specializes in coping with major illnesses. Ask your doctors if they know of anyone.

You’re undergoing a lot of physical trauma, and that can affect your mental health immensely, and vice versa.

I can’t offer much else, other than wishing you good luck and best wishes. We’re all rooting for you here.

 

Boogie,

I wish I had the magic elixir and so do a lot of other people on this board.

I hope trying to stay sober would be a start – especially if the alcohol isn't doing anything to alleviate physical pain and discomfort.

You're not a burden. Your life counts as much as anyone else's, and if you can't find help yourself, enlist others who might be help you get the help you need.

Finally, Keep Pounding.

Take care of yourself, and allow others in your life to help you do so.

 

Damn,
I wish I had words. I'll echo others, get help from a professional.

Exercise has a lot of good benefits, Stewart Scott did martial arts when he was battling cancer.

Keep pounding.

 

Wish you the best. You might want to try EMDR. It works, especially for those with PTSD.

 

On one hand, addict's gonna addict and junkie's gonna junkie. Believe that.

When you hear temptation call, it's your heart that takes, takes a fall.

On the other hand, never look back because something might be gaining on you.

Somewhere in the middle is what I try to do every morning before the sun rises: go for a long walk and breathe in as much fresh air as you can. It helps.

 

I feel for you, man. An old buddy started blogging on Wordpress after he was diagnosed with glioblastoma brain cancer. Steve loved to express himself, and it gave him an outlet. It also reconnected him with people who had known him over the years.

I'd also look for a support group of people are having similar experiences -- a place where people can truly understand what you're going through. If it were me, a group like that would help.