The Five Songs You Never-Ever Wanna Hear Again

Sam Mills 51 · Oct 5, 2023

Songbird said: ↑

3. Tom Sawyer by Rush ... there's only one good (all time great) song by Rush ...

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I'll pretend I didn't see this. Besides, there is only one track introduced by Eric Cartman and friends from South Park:

ChrisLong · Oct 5, 2023

1 - Signs (can't get rid of it for a few weeks)
2- All-Star (stuck in my brain into perpetuity)
3- Year of the Cat (one of the SXM stations my wife listens to -- Bridge or Yacht Rock -- played this about every half hour. I heard it three times in a 90 minute drive. The sax solo makes my skin crawl)

Bubbler · Oct 5, 2023

Songbird said: ↑

3. Tom Sawyer by Rush ... there's only one good (all time great) song by Rush ...

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Jealous I didn't think of that one.

swingline · Oct 5, 2023

More than a Feeling — Boston
Mickey — Someone Obnoxious
99 Luft Balloons — Another Someone Obnoxious
25 or 624 — Chicago sucks
We Built This City — Starship Troopers was better

playthrough · Oct 6, 2023

Total Eclipse of the Heart -- my all-time nails-on-a-chalkboard song and only picking four more because it's the rules

Stairway to Heaven
Here I Go Again (or another overplayed-on-local-rock-radio Whitesnake song of your choice)
We Are the Champions (I'm actually nervous about one of my teams someday winning a title and singing this, then me not being able to get that out of my head)
Candle in the Wind

Cosmo · Oct 6, 2023

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall ... fucking dreck that gives me seizures like Kramer got when he heard Mary Hart's voice
Kokomo by The Beach Boys
What's Up by Four Non Blondes
Two Princes by The Spin Doctors
Shiny Happy People (or Stand, take your pick) by REM

CD Boogie · Oct 6, 2023

FileNotFound said: ↑

Which was worse: Puttin on the Ritz, One Night in Bangkok or Rock Me Amadeus?
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Come on, One Night in Bangkok has some pretty funny lyrics.
"I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine."
"The queens we use would not excite you."
"So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors."

You can see I have a soft spot lol

Captain_Kirk · Oct 6, 2023

The Pina Colada Song
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Revolution 9
Hats Off to Roy Harper
Amanda

CD Boogie · Oct 6, 2023

Captain_Kirk said: ↑

The Pina Colada Song
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Revolution 9
Hats Off to Roy Harper
Amanda
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?

How often you do you ever hear that song unless you press play on Led Zeppelin III?

rtse11 · Oct 6, 2023

Amanda
Angie
Beth
Gloria
Come on Eileen

BitterYoungMatador2 · Oct 6, 2023

Bubbler said: ↑

WTF? I like that song! (I agree with the rest of your list.)

What are we talking about here? Is this a worst song list? Or overplayed list? Or? Overplayed by bands you like? Let's dive into overplayed ...

OVERPLAYED (instant change on the dial)
"Bohemian Rhapsody", Queen - It's become so rote. I'm not convinced it's a great or even good song to begin with, but its been so run into the ground one way or another. "Hey! Remember when Wayne and Garth sang it!" Yeah, I do, I lived and breathed air in 1991, you couldn't get around it, and my memory hasn't yet turned to mush. Now that I'm old, most nostalgia is stupid. People remembering things wrong or too generally. Fuck that, but I digress. Also, my kids like this song, so *they* won't let me skip it. Queen is one of the most hit-and-miss bands of all-time and it makes me ill they're up on a pantheon in many people's eyes with the greatest of bands. The fuckers who did "Fat Bottomed Girls" and "Body Language"? Give me strength.
"Sweet Caroline", Neil Diamond - Shut the fuck up with your drunken sing-a-alongs. It's a boring song to start with and there are better Neil Diamond songs. Oh for the alternate universe where "Cracklin' Rosie" became the sing-a-along standard. Or, the even better alternate universe where "I Am ... I Said" became the sing-a-along because the lyrics are laugh-out-loud ridiculous/hilarious and fun to sing too! I AM I CRIED!
Anything from "The Wall" except "Comfortably Numb", Pink Floyd - The excepted song is itself overplayed, but David Gilmour's guitar is undeniably great. As for everything else off of that album, I hate it. I truly do. I do not understand what people could possibly love about Roger Waters bitching about the trappings of fame. Oh noes! Drunk people at a Montreal concert weren't "hearing" the band properly. Please eat shit. He is a world-class asshole. I love 70s Pink Floyd in every single one of the their other albums, but the drop-off in musical and lyrical quality on "The Wall" is stark. Listen to "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" back-to-back with "Another Brick In The Wall" and do your own taste test. (OK, "Young Lust" is just barely passable too.)
"Smells Like Teen Spirit", Nirvana - Pretty much every single Nirvana put out besides this was better. The mediocrity of this song actually turned me off to Nirvana for a long time and definitely turned me off to them as grunge avatars. (I was in the Pearl Jam camp at the time.) It took "In Utero" to finally get me on-board.
"Smalltown", John Mellencamp - I lived in Indiana for a long time. For that alone? I detoxed from Mellencamp for nearly two decades because back in the 90s? It was some wall-to-wall inescapable shit. ("Indianapolis" by the Bottle Rockets captures the vibe perfectly.)

Now, Mellencamp, generally, is good. His rockers, in particular, are usually pretty ace. His more contemplative songs are good to excellent.

"Smalltown", however, has just gone beyond the pale. Most of the problem isn't on Mellencamp, it's that it's been appropriated by smalltown dipshits who use it as an anthem. Was that the point? Yeah, almost certainly, but FIND ANOTHER SONG! IT'S OVERPLAYED! (Checks notes, sees that smalltown folks of today would probably pick Jason Aldean. Never mind, stick with Mellencamp.)

Also? It has probably been used in every Larry Bird retrospective ever made, which is so lazy as fuck.

Documentary hack No. 1: (speaking to someone out of view) ... 'What's that? Bird turned us down for an interview, again! What's his fucking problem? He's busy? Busy doing what? You asked him and he said he's busy not giving a fuck about doing an interview? OK, try again, next week.'
OK, I'm back. Hey! What music should we use for this Bird montage?
Documentary hack No. 2: Well, he's got that hick from French Lick rags to riches things going. He's kind of an asshole. He's from Indiana or Kentucky or some other flyover state with meth.
Documentary hack No. 1: HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE! John Mellencamp is from Indiana, right? He's kind of an asshole, right? They both grew up in the same smalltown, right?
Documentary hack No. 2: I don't think they did, but no one will know the difference. I see where you're going with this. Is "Smalltown" the video where he's with a bunch of meth heads on motorcycles?
Documentary hack No. 1: No, that's "Hurts So Good". Is "Smalltown" the one where he's dancing in a field of poppies?
Documentary hack No. 2: Hmm. Don't remember. Maybe it's the one with Super 8 footage of people roller skating? Or the "other" video with Super 8 footage of people roller skating?
Anyway, "Smalltown" lyric starts with "I was born in a small town ..." That is so perfect! Or? Maybe is it a bit too perfect? I swear I've heard that song associated with Bird before. Perhaps we shouldn't fall victim to cliche ...
(Bill Simmons barges in ...)
Bill Simmons: Sorry, I was just writing about how any NBA team could have had Jerry Sichting as the final piece of the puzzle in 1986, but RED IS FREAKING GENIUS! SUCK A FAT ONE, LAKERS, SIXERS, ROCKETS and BUCKS!
Anyhow, I heard you're making a Bird doc. I hope you're up to code on the rules. "Smalltown" must be used with your Bird montage. It's the law.
It's right there in the fine print next to "must use Johnny Most audio footage from Pistons series" and "must use either Bird converting over the top of the backboard" and/or "must include over-the-head pass". Bird hitting his head in the Pacers series in 1991 and coming back to beat them anyway is optional, but encouraged. We don't want simpletons to suspect that "moment" was against an extraordinarily mediocre Indiana team. Mmmkay. We up to speed? So make with the "Smalltown" clip.
I gotta go. I'm considering a civil suit against Jeff Pearlman for not including Cedric Maxwell prominently enough in "Showtime". Gonna clean his clock. Wicked pissa and all that.

Larry and John have something in common too. Both small-town southern Indiana guys ... WHO DON'T FUCKING LIVE IN THEIR SMALLTOWNS! Mellencamp is within spitting distance in Bloomington, which culturally, is diametrically opposed to where he actually grew up. Bird probably hasn't breathed air in French Lick since they re-opened the casinos ... other than to maybe play golf.
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I liked this. Then un-liked it. Then liked it again so I could like it twice.

Tighthead · Oct 6, 2023

Wonderful Tonight
Livin’ on a Prayer
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Hotel California
Something to Live For - Barney Bentall, only Canadians will recognize this, it’s a rip off of Livin’ On a Prayer that lives fat on CanCon regulation

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