The Five Songs You Never-Ever Wanna Hear Again

1. Buh buh buh buh Benny and the Jets. If I were ever going to kill someone in the most torturous manner possible, I'd beat them half to death then put that song on repeat, knowing they'd finish the job themselves after about the fourth pass through. Quite frankly, a big portion of Elton John's catalog sucks. Crocodile Rock? get outta here with this dreck.

2. Jukebox Hero. Stop fuckin' screaming. How did the producer not stop this song 45 seconds in and say, "dude, you're screeching. Knock it off."

3. Wonderful Christmastime is ass, even by Christmas music standards. I'd take Dominic the Christmas Donkey over this. Looking at what these people did with their solo careers, its possible the Beatles are the most overrated group in history.

4. Every time I hear Puttin' on the Ritz I'm amazed this group got a record deal. Sounds like something a high school garage band would do during study hall.

5. Imagine Dragons are so bad they should be embarrassed to perform this crap live, but Thunder, Th-th-Thunder, is especially bad. It might be the modern day Benny and the Jets.

 

Misogynist

 

My daughter doesn’t post here, but if she did she would add “Joanna” by Kool and the Gang to your list.

Yes, her name is Joanna and she’s creeped out by guys now in their 60s and 70s crooning a love song to someone with her name. Even if it came out 17 years before she was born!

 

Precious and Few (and that this wasn't mentioned until page 5 is a sign we're slipping as a board)
Billy Don't Be A Hero
Freeway by Aretha Franklin (because she did so many much better songs and this is the one that goes on in-store music?)
Disco Duck
Any Christmas song by Mariah Carey.

 

There's no arguing that this is one of those sappy, sugary songs that were so popular decades ago, but don't kill me for saying it's a pretty good love song, too. Got a nice melody and a good chorus verse, and it always reminds me of good days back then any time I hear it. I've never switched it off on the rare times it came around again.

 

And, hey, while we're at it ...

 

I once made the mistake of telling a friend that "Kokomo" drives me nuts because whenever I hear it, I get the earworm that lasts for days.

Bad mistake on my part. For years after that – and it's been about 30 now – whenever she wants to bust my balls, she looks me in the eye and starts singing: "Aruba, Jamaica ... "

 

Go fuck yourself.

That's one of the best FG eps ever. The Everything I Do (I Do It For You) montage/parody is still hilarious and brilliant.

 

I can't answer without responding "any song by x."

What about a song you like by a band you otherwise hate?

 

Aerosmith - "Dream On"

 

Hate the Eagles, have no use for Don Henley, but I like “Boys of Summer.”

Wouldn’t say I hate Fleetwood Mac, but they are not a band I would ever listen to by choice. But “Go Your Own Way” is pretty great.