Far Out Names

I know a guy named Adolph. He's in his early 60s, so young enough that his parents should have had better sense than to name a kid Adolph.
He obviously doesn't go by that.

 

My wife taught elementary school for a bunch of years, and one kid in her class was named Courvoisier, like the fancy French cognac.

 

I always thought that naming your little boy Conan was a guarantee that he'd get beat up.

 

I worked with someone who nicknamed their oldest Peanut because that’s what he and his wife thought she looked like in an ultrasound. Cute, but a little strange when she was like 10. After that, I think that they had 3 more kids and they referred to each one by a different nut.

 

I recall a high school baseball coach in the third base box encouraging his hitter with, "Let's go, big Dick." I think the kid's last name was Dick, but still ...

 

Unless he's a male member of the Coors family.

 

At one of my career stops more than a few years ago, we had a pair of brothers who were named after their father's favorite football coach and car ...

I present for your consideration -- Bear and Chevy Bryant (and yes, we saw their birth certificates) ...

 

My wife had a friend in Houston that we hung with some. She was a very petite dark haired woman, and her husband was a stereotypical square headed Swede, 6'3" or so, a big blocky guy. They had a five year old girl who looked very much like her mom, small, fine boned. They also had a little boy, maybe 2 1/2, who was chipped off his father's block. He was huge, nearly as tall as his sister and outweighed her. If she was playing with a toy and he decided that he wanted it, he'd go take it from her. If she resisted he'd push her to the ground, put his foot on her chest, and rip it away from her. He wasn't mean, just a toddler with a toddler's mindset and social skills and this enormous body, still with the rolls of baby fat.

Anyhow, they nicknamed him Jabba. At the time we met, they were trying to break themselves of using that name, because they figured that if he remembered it when he got older and saw Star Wars it would scar him for life, but the first time I saw the kids and they called him that I laughed so hard I about fell off the couch.

 

Dated a girl named Apple in college.

 

In their history, the 49ers have not only had Wonder Monds on the roster, but Fair Hooker and Sanjay Beach.