President Biden: The NEW one and only politics thread

The cans were ribbed for her pleasure.

 

Morons.

 

When does the getting tired of winning start?

 

The Pee Tape Is Real.

 

Fun story.

Picture it. Blacksburg, Virginia, 1994. Young Cosmo heads back early for the fall semester and drinks -- I believe -- 16 Bud Ices and becomes the first brother to pass out at the fraternity house for the semester. Young Cosmo wakes up the next morning to find the only things left in his room are a) his bed b) a box fan and c) a dorm fridge. Everything else had been meticulously moved by his brothers to the roof of the house. Young Cosmo may have also had some Adidas stripes shaved into his right eyebrow. Lessons here: College kids (especially the sorts who are in frats) are unmerciful dicks; and Bud Ice is the fucking spawn of the devil. I think I was hung over for more than 48 hours after that episode. Safe to say, that was Young Cosmo's last foray into Bud Ice.

 

We had a rule in college. Your bedroom is your sanctuary - you pass out anywhere else you were fair game.

But we never went the New Orleans Krystal route.

 

Our college party keg of choice was Icehouse. We'd pool roommate money for the first keg and a bunch of bottles of bottom-shelf booze and some mixers. We'd collect $5 at the door and then pass the hat for the next booze run. Usually broke about even on the money. Anything left over was for the hangover breakfast run.

Feels like we did that about once a month for three years (off-campus housing). Good times, good times.

 

Anyone else do the 101 club? 8oz of beer every minute for 101 minutes? Fun stuff! The tough part was "catching up" after you'd puke from the stale cheap ass keg of beer we didn't finish during a pre-game party.

 

We were amateurs. We did power hour (shot of beer every minute for one hour).

 

Blame Mark Burnett. Of course he and his wife are good Christians (according to him) so anything they do is just fine even if it hurts other people.

 

Similar thing happened to me on a random Friday night during spring semester, 1995 but they left all of my belongings and decided I needed to be covered in shaving cream instead.

My favorite prank somehow involved the total sobriety of everyone. I’ve included a visual aid at the bottom to help illustrate.

As I may have mentioned, my scenic route through education started out at West Virginia University as a freshman until both myself and the department of admissions agreed I wasn’t really feeling the place and we had a mutual parting of ways. Freshman year I lived in the Boreman North dorms, an “H” configuration building that had men on one side, women on the other and a TV lounge in that center connection. The approximately 30 guys on the third floor learned very quickly that we liked to pull pranks, raise hell and toss shit out the windows (no wonder I had like no GPA to speak of). When our Resident Assistant gathered up the floor to notify us that we had set the record for highest damage bill in WVU history (each of us was assessed, well, our parents were assessed, a bill for $182), we looked like one of those MAAC teams that just saw their school name announced by Greg Gumbel on Selection Sunday.

That RA was a nice but gullible Indian guy named Bobby who we put in overtime fucking with. Fucking with in a “we like you and consider you a friend but we’re going to bust your balls anyway because you’re gullible and it’s easy” way. His room (blue X) was diagonal from the TV lounge (red X) and we soon realized if we wanted to pester him while hanging out watching TV we could just slide the screen over, start banging on his window and yell, “yo Bob, pull your pants up and get in here.”

One Monday night while he was in his engineering class, one of these delinquents realized that if you opened the window to the lounge the entire way and removed the screen, then slid his screen and window up, you had about three feet across to get in (keep in mind, three feet across but up three stories). So two guys held his legs as he crawled over, lifted the screen and window, and wiggled through the opening. After he opened the door to his room, we moved all of his furniture into the community bathroom, then relocated all of the TV lounge furniture into his room — including the giant console TV. When he walked into his room, he found all of us watching a movie on a VCR, with the furniture configured the exact same way as it was in the lounge.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person more stunned.

 

Where I went to school, some of the frats and houses that hosted parties made thousands of dollars a year in profit. Get four kegs of Milwaukee’s Best for, maybe $200-$300 total (as I recall). Have 100 people in the party for $5 a head. Make $200-$300 a night.