O.J. Simpson -- dead

"I see OJ, man, and he looks scared!"

-Satan

 

Returning home from a Marlins-Mets game. On the side of the road with a melted cylinder in my Toyota Supra on the ONE stretch of Broward County where there is not a gas station or house visible in any direction. Missed the whole damn thing.

 

Nice launch angle and exit velocity. Touch them all.

 

Driving to Reno with the local Legion team (the first 15 minutes to Tahoe were fine, but after that ...), listening to updates from, of all radio personalities, Pete Franklin!

 

My first job in SoCal was in a office at the corner of Wilshire and Bundy, so when sleepy little Bundy became ground zero for the most famous crime in Hollywood history I was gobsmacked.

 

Murdering two people was bad enough, but why did that MF have to then go on and unleash the Kardashians on us?

 

I want to say we had Jim Bohannon. We had to have Jim Bohannon because King had given up his late night show for an afternoon drive one that flopped.

 

I had gotten back from a high school graduation party and when I got home my dad was watching the chase on tv

 

I was on an all-day date with the girl who I ended up seeing most of the summer. For multiple reasons, the summer of 1994 was kind of my coming of age story. For some reason this nonsense fit into that, like so many of us in some way.

 

Because it's never not funny (and because the guy would've been dumped in three seconds today with his ridiculous phony accent):

Also: I forgot that ABC News pulled in every available bullpen arm to toss an inning that night. Barbara F-ing Walters? I'm sure she'd interviewed O.J. at one point or another.

 

Don't you mean "totally farcical?"