Mental health thread

Such an important article, and brought back some harsh memories. Never thought I’d be grateful we were in the ER for “only” 3-4 days, but after reading this you bet I’m grateful.

Hundreds of Suicidal Teens Sleep in Emergency Rooms. Every Night.

 

I think we have had a few attempts at mental health threads. I dug one up because I didn't think it made sense to start yet another. I wanted to write about emotional exhaustion. It's not something I'm used to thinking about, but I'm dealing with it right now.

I spent two hours of my afternoon today at a viewing for a 17-year-old who committed suicide last week. His funeral is tomorrow morning. I can't say I was especially close to him, but I've known him for a couple of years. I couldn't speak when I found out. I've lost people, but never someone so young. This one knocked the wind out of me. I saw such horrible grief and shared a small version of it. I also got to see these amazing little moments of courage and compassion. Of course, parents and adults were supporting each other his friends, but that wasn't what kept catching my attention. I watched these teenagers rally around one another and find their way through something that shouldn't be a part of their lives yet. There were all these amazing little moments. The whole thing was incredibly sad but beautiful.

Maybe I'm just emotionally exhausted. My mother-in-law is losing her battle with cancer. They had controlled it with medication for seven years, but she recently started having pain that worried her. The medication stopped working and she went downhill very fast. She contracted pneumonia last week. Somewhere in there, they believe she had a stroke, too. We called hospice yesterday. I adore my mother-in-law, but breaks my heart to see my wife and daughter crying. It's only going to get worse.

I'm not sure there is a point to all this. Maybe I'm just rambling. I guess it is about being there for others even when we're struggling, too. I spoke to some of the parents, who are looking for someone professional for their children to speak with to make sure they have the support they need. Knowing what I do about shortages in mental health professionals, I just hope they can find what they need.

 

If school were in session, it would likely provide some sort of counseling to help his classmates process this. Or might be worth trying to reach out and see if they could do this even though it is summer. There are very real risks involved.

https://answers.childrenshospital.org/suicide-contagion/

As for the parents themselves, if they don’t know where to start, try asking the pediatrician or failing that their primary care doctor. Physicians can sometimes call in favors and bypass a lot of red tape when they have an existing relationship and the stakes are this serious.

OOP, your feelings are valid as well. That’s an incredibly difficult thing to witness even from a distance. You are a good man for showing up and bearing witness that his life had meaning, however inconsequential it might feel.

 

Thanks dixiehack. Their school is out for the summer, but the principal and staff have been supporting the students and helping them find resources. They have talked about the very real concerns.

 

That's a lot. DM me if you need anything.

In the meantime, I send you the love of this household.

Hang in there.

 

Thanks. I appreciate the support. It's not easy, but the worst of it is seeing so many people I care about in emotional pain, especially my wife and daughter. My best friend has been a rock during all this. In terms of support, I'm a lucky guy. I knew this can be a good place to vent, too, but I also hoped it would jump-start the mental health conversation. I think it is a valuable one to have.

 

This is why I love this place. We bitch, moan, whine and complain about everything from A to Z, but we're here for each other in times of crisis.

 

Saw a meme/gif/whatever a couple of years ago, and it said something like, "When it seems like I'm abrupt or grumpy or short with those around me or ill-tempered or tired with no energy, maybe it's just because I'm sad and have nothing left inside."

Wish I could find it now. When I first saw it, it felt like it was directed straight at my soul, and I wanted to send it to my (saint of a) wife to help her understand me more than the already does.

I have a friend-of-a-friend whose wife just joined a counseling group. I thought this was a perfect sign that I need to get some therapy help. I called and asked about the process, if this appointment scheduler could check on if my insurance covers it, and she laughed into the phone as she said they don't mess with insurance, but I could submit it.

I hung up.

 

"When the want goes, that's bad" ....... is where I'm at.

 

Try starting with your insurance provider and ask them for recommended providers in your area. If none of those work, ask them for more.

My opinion of Blue Cross is normally buried deep in a landfill, but BC/BS North Carolina went to bat for me this spring when I needed help but barely had the mental strength to navigate the system and got discouraged after the first list of five bombed out. They have a special department specifically dedicated to this.

 

Thanks Dixie. I also have BC/BS, and will begin to navigate that minefield.

 

Problem is every place that accepts insurance has a wait-list a mile long.

When my son was going through his shit, we didn’t get timely help unless we paid for it out-of-pocket or until it became an indisputable emergency.