Animal people - Help me understand

So there is a fellow divorcée at church I’ve been thinking of asking out for a little while now. She has a lot going for her: smart, accomplished, cute, easygoing personality.

Two things have held me back. One is my natural shyness. But the other is that she and her daughters are big into pets and fostering stray animals.

Other than an aquarium and a couple of abortive attempts at an outside dog, we were not a pet family. Dad is allergic and mom inherited my granny’s disdain for animals as unclean. As the neurotic, rule-following oldest child, this stuff is hard-coded into my DNA.

A lot of this came to a head for me today when I had to make a delivery to a pet supply place and the smell overpowered me when I walked in. I had forgotten that smell. Even though it was a fairly tidy shop, it still reeked of kibble and dander and misplaced priorities.

I have two children, so obviously I’m no stranger to cleaning up pee and poop from back in the day. But at least there were diapers to contain nearly all of the mess and a reasonable assurance that particular task had an end date within sight.

So I ask you, the pet lovers of SJ.com, can my kind ever actually find lasting happiness with your kind? Did any of you ever used to be skittish around animals or at least dog-nostic before coming around?

 

Could be part of a Weezer lyric.

 

Carpet

No carpet. No smells. No problem.

 

Grew up in a pet family, dogs, cats, rabbits. Have a couple of cats now and hope to get a dog, likely in retirement. I went without pets when I was single and moving a lot. Can’t imagine not having a furball or two around now.

I’d say see what happens. The relationship would be most important. And if that’s good the rest will fall into place. You could find the pets to be an undiscovered bonus and something you’d welcome.

Don’t know until you give it a shot.

 

Dogshit is the worst in confined spaces. My grandpa had us shovel that shit whenever we visited.

My grandpa had 10 acres upon which he had cattle and a chicken house. For whatever reason he kept his dogs penned in a converted old chicken house. No idea why other than maybe he got tired of picking ticks off of them.

Let them roam in a decent backyard and it isn't so bad.

 

The last man I dated said, "It's me or the cat." I'm pretty sure he was trying to find a a way to break up. Still, you can guess who won.

 

I'm not going there. I've inherited cats and dogs alike in relationships. All were welcome.

 

This feels like it might be a parallel universe @exmediahack first date story.

 

That’s also been my challenge. My kids are grown and I have no pets. For a long time, I was in the battle — with little kids and a puppy who grew up.

So many single women have dogs, often the big and slobbery ones — or, as even bigger red flag, the $5,000 French bulldog. That’s a lot of money for a dog that sounds like an asthma attack.

I will NOT date a woman who has a bird. Nope. Absolutely not.

I say, from the outset, that I want to be on equal footing as your dog. I don’t need to be a higher priority at the start but I can’t be sitting across from you and you’re thinking about your dog more than the moment that we’re both in. She deserves my full attention. So do I.

I’m allergic to cats. “Well, maybe you’re worth taking Claritin for.” Some like that, some are turned off by it. I’d rather clear the deck for those who don’t like it.

“So you hate pets?” one woman asked me recently on a first date.

I had to wiggle out of that one. She has seven horses, three dogs, two cats and was 25 minutes late for a first date because she saw an injured bird in her driveway. The entire time she was talking about this bird.

Finally, I pulled out the money clip, put a couple bills down.

“I think you need to get home and go take care of your bird.”

Walked her to her car. No hug. No kiss on the cheek. Buh-bye.

Not all my first date stories are gripping and salacious.

Some single women always want to be 10. So they spend their time with their dog, sleep with stuffed animals, watch their Disney movies and shave their area. So they can always feel like they’re 10.

 

I grew up with dogs, even after finding out I was allergic. I just washed my hands a lot and dealt with it. My wife questions my parents' choices, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. A good dog is a wonderful companion. They will adore you no matter how badly you fuck up. They will comfort you when you are sick. They are always happy to see you. There is also research indicating that having a dog can have health benefits. Petting a dog can even lower your blood pressure. Despite all that, as an adult, I realized it wasn't great to have a dog messing with my allergies.

My wife and I got a cat shortly after moving in together. I hadn't been around cats much in my life, but I had always tested negative for cat allergies. I did research. I learned you must let them come to you rather than keep picking them up. My wife, however, did not learn that lesson, so we ended up with a cat who distrusted every human being she met except me. She was my constant companion, following me around the house. She was much easier to deal with than a dog except for the time we foolishly tried to bathe her. Long story short, she bit me. We got a second cat, an affectionate little dummy who loved everyone.

We later found out that I was allergic to the cats. It had never shown up on a test before because I had so little exposure to them in my life. Once those two were gone, we decided we couldn't have cats or dogs. And yes, my wife and daughter both lay the guilt on me about that one, but I do like breathing properly.

I loved having pets. I love dogs and cats. If my allergies were gone, we would have cats, dogs, or both in a heartbeat. (Yes, I tried shots. They didn't work.)

 

My fiancee has two cats. I like cats. If she'd had two dogs, we probably wouldn't have dated for very long. I can like your dog just fine, but I don't want to live with it - or be on a plane with it, or in a restaurant with it, or anywhere else in public dogs owners now don't think twice about bringing them.