Youth Sports (i.e. the thing we all loved which parents have now ruined)

My (third- and fourth-grade) flag football team completely fell apart yesterday.

I’d tell them the play in the huddle and it flew out of their heads between the break and the snap. My one girl finally caught her first pass of the season, and proceeded to run 10 yards in the wrong direction.

My QB started fights with just about everyone before feigning an injury to sit out the rest of the game. His backup literally threw soft floaters to the other team every time he dropped back, and never got it within 15 yards of one of his teammates.

At one point, I huddled them up and clapped my hands an inch from each of their faces, trying to wake them up and get them back to this planet. I told them there’s no point to playing these games if they can’t even remember what direction we’re going, or whether we’re on offense or defense, or that completing passes to the other team is a bad thing.

I’ve been coaching for a while, and I don’t get embarrassed easily, but I sure was yesterday. They forgot everything they’ve learned this season all at once.

 

Might be starting to get a little beyond youth sports in this sense, but it still exists in parts so thought I would share.

My sports kid is a seventh grader now and has taken on the world of middle school sports and has done pretty well. He pretty much didn't leave the field on JV in football, his first season playing tackle, and now he's playing basketball, also JV. Middle school sports here used to be by grade but now JV/varsity. Both practice together and all suit up together.

Anyway, as for basketball, I have felt it could be his best sport if he worked on it, but he views it as just fun and it's kind of a gap sport. Because of that he never went to any open gyms or anything. Also, the main coach is a teacher at the school and had my older two who were anything but team athletes (my second is actually a really good athlete but as a runner and now competitive cheer). So I kind of think both those points, no extra work with the team and older non-basketball siblings that the coach knew, played a bit of a role of them not knowing what they had with him, and the coach at least told me they didn't know what they had with him. I think he kind of gave them no choice but to put him on JV/varsity with his tryout. I think that is kind of cool. I was never close to that as an athlete.

For youth sports stuff, they had their first game tonight and it was against the team his old coach's kid plays for. There are three players on my son's team that were on this coach's squad last year. One of the players is pretty good for this age. I told the old coach, who we have been around in sports since kindergarten, a story about what one of our other friends and now the club coach of this kid said about the kid a few weeks ago. Our old coach was like, he's on that team now? (We both have a history with this competitive team that didn't end well.) I said yeah, and he gave the biggest eye roll. I kind of found it hilarious.

Ah, the histories and interesting competitiveness that builds through years of this. With all of them being on the doorstep of high school it is going to be interesting to see how it all comes together, if at all.

 

We've had so much fun with youth sports. My kid is just solid - he's not the star - and we're really low pressure about it. There's no dreams of scholarships or anything like that; it's just going out and trying your best for the sake of trying your best.

 

I have a few things that have recently happened to show being a good sports parent matters.

One, my son ended up being one of two JV players that got important varsity time in basketball. Pretty cool. One of his teammates he played flag football with way back when he was in kindergarten and his teammate was in first grade. That was the first time my kid played anything but baseball (and at that point it was only t-ball). The coach of that team seriously didn't play half the team for the first couple of games. He was so ridiculously competitive. My kid was one who wasn't playing, the other kid was one who was.

It didn't take long for a few parents to be like, dude, they are kindergartners and first graders. He wasn't budging. This other kid's dad took tons of pictures at every game. He eventually went to the coach and said, look, it's the same kids on the bench in every photo. That's not right. I will always remember a parent of a player who was playing vouching for players who weren't. I went up to this dad during basketball and said, you probably won't remember me, but our kids played on that team together and you stood up for the kids on the bench and I will always think that's awesome. He didn't remember me but he totally remembered the situation, and went on a total rant about it! This parent has great athletes in his family. His oldest was an all-state football player, a state wrestling champ, and is now wrestling in D-II. There are clearly good genes. And it is awesome he doesn't let that go to his head, and likely not let his kids get big heads as well.

The second is almost the opposite. There is a new kid on my son's baseball team. He apparently is a good pitcher. His dad has done nothing but yap about how he is a good pitcher and has a coach and has basically been throwing nonstop since last season. Just has kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It is so much for a 12-year-old. Well, it would seem his kid got hurt throwing outside of practice. Our coaches had a talk with the team at practice the other day saying don't throw bullpens without us knowing about it and especially don't throw more than what we have warmed up for so far this year. He might be done for a long time based on the practice RSVPs. I haven't gotten the gossip yet, but it will be interesting to see what happened and how long he is out. I just don't get pushing a kid like that, and now it could wreck his season or worse.

Be good sports parents everyone. We only get to watch this for a little while and most won't play beyond maybe even beyond middle school, let alone college or more. Just to the point of Justin's post above.

 

No activity here this summer so maybe parents aren't ruining youth sports everywhere, but got to post about the disaster of a baseball season for my kid because of coaches.

This was his fourth year on the team but first with new coaches. Two were assistants in the past, although not huge decision makers, but a third was new. His kid was on the team last year, but he didn't coach. And he was a total cancer to what had been a great team and group. This new coach and one of the old assistants were basically co-head coaches. The daddy ball stuff seeped in early, but as my kid told me, at first it was just at practice. By the middle of the season it infested games big time. My son soured to this early, complaining about the practice aspect and then really hating practice. Once it hit games it was a whole other level.

As a result, my ultra-competitive, perfectionist kid was in a terrible mood most of the season. The coaches started taking it out on him basically because he wasn't a team player or something, although they never talked with us or had a meeting or anything. He started the season as the top catcher (and it wasn't close really) and over the second half he hardly caught at all. One of the coach kids did. He's a stop gap at catcher at best and the team actually suffered as a result. But daddy ball. He ended up with almost 50 more innings caught than my kid. My kid absolutely loves catcher. Play him there in the first game of every weekend and none of the rest and I guarantee you he would have been happier. So his attitude got worse because he wasn't catching. In the end I believe he was being punished because they knew he loves catching. The new coach's kid I think sat three innings total the whole season. I'm not kidding. And in stereotypical fashion they force made him short stop. His batting average dropped nearly 100 points the last month and he stayed put at third in the order.

About half the team was ready to revolt. The other half was in new coach's clique. You could tell where the lines were drawn in the sand based on where people sat at games. Despite a clear unhappiness from much of the team, my kid seemed to be the one who was blamed. I get that he has to work through this stuff and as high school approaches it certainly isn't going to get any easier, but they also did nothing to ease this conflict or even try to help him grow. The program director who had been the head coach tried to say he just wasn't responding and I had to be like, why do you think he isn't responding? It's at least a two-way street and he isn't the adult.

So writing on the wall, we were planning on leaving. I think as many as five others also are, but who knows what their options are. This was a team that had been together since they were 8 and 9. One new coach blows it all up. Next year will likely mostly be his picks. It was made worse for us as they removed us from the roster on TeamSnap the day after the season, which was Sunday. We're the only ones based on conversations with others. They still haven't told us and most tryouts are over. If we hadn't advocated for ourselves and planned on being back, we wouldn't have a team. How freaking ridiculous is that, regardless of how they perceive my kid and us (I haven't said a damn thing to them in private or otherwise about our unhappiness). Did they also think we wouldn't see that we were removed? Or that we would and move on? Regardless, the lack of communication is such garbage, especially for a committed family.

We did tryout, though. I have mentioned before that he is young for his grade so playing age group but not grade level. We used it as a screw it, let's throw him in the fire moment, and are moving him up to grade level one year before high school. He made two 14U teams, and we accepted the offer of one. It's going to be an adjustment to a regulation field, but he'll be fine. Plus it will be better than this crap.

One of the other unhappy parents at the last tournament specifically regarding the one coach, adults are ruining youth baseball.

 

Try locking them in a darkened shed.

I coached Little League for 4-5 years in my hometown when I was in HS and college. One year my team got me an 8-pack of Stroh's as the coach's gift. Wonderful, one if the best gifts I've ever received. Can't imagine that happening today.

 

My friend's AAA baseball coach downed a six-pack of Bud at every practice.

 

One of these days I'll do a real update on the StarSis athletic family to provide a coda for some of the long long ago threads.

Super succinct version: StarSis09, the youngest and likely last of the bunch, is about a week away from the tryout period for next year's (softball) teams.

She's been with one organization for three years (five teams) now. The teams have fluctuated between mid-level average (20-25 or thereabouts) or awful (10-35). This may have something with birth date distribution but likely more to do with the fact they've never had anything more than a passable pitcher.

It has nothing to do with SS09. In 150 games, she's batted about .440 with OBP about .600.
She's also a state ranked sprinter on her junior high school team; top 50 in the state in the 100 meters.

Because of all that, she's scored 224 runs in 150 games. On the base paths, she's 88-93 in stolen bases. On defense, outstanding in both IF and OF.

So, turns out she's quite a commodity. StarSis emailed 4 of the top teams in the area inquiring about tryout info. (She's been offered a spot on her current club's 15U team-- her age level for next year -- but she's waiting to see what the options are).

They all emailed right back offering to set up private tryout sessions (quite soon). Some of the old time softball gurus tell us that means they are seriously interested in you; they want to see you by yourself rather than the cattle call fire drill situations of most open team tryouts.

Hopefully one of these groups has a hook up with some big money spotting goods company, to score her some free swag. We may well and truly be in the age of NIL.

Complicating the issue somewhat is that StarSis, her mom, is also a family law attorney and will be one of the prime figures in settling our other sister's estate down in Texas over the next couple of weeks; she'll fly down for several days. Dad StarBIL, is not really a softball head, so it's preferable if StsrSis is in on these discussions.

 

Based on our overall experience, and definitely our experience this year, go with individual workouts and contacting teams on your own when possible. My kid had one private tryout this year and absolutely crushed it. A group tryout he had he got nervous and started slow, although he rebounded and it ended up being the team we are moving to. But I know he wasn't among their first choice.

I'd rather, and I have heard from others who agree, almost try to get it worked out on your own. It's a stupid game, but so is the stress of high-level youth sports.

 

Kinda like daddy ball, but with high school band. The director’s kid - who was a freshman last year - had the big solo in the marching performance. And the band does the same marching every game to prepare for contests, so there was no taking turns on solos.

Director’s kid had solos during concert season, after marching season, and, believe it or not, is one of the drum majors for the upcoming year, as a sophomore.

This also surprises me zero. When my little sister was in high school band, her director chose his kid as band student of the year every year.

 

This seems pretty ridiculous, but not surprising. I hope the kid really earned it or deserves it, but I could see that being questionable, especially as a freshman.

I would half think if I was in these situations I would treat my kid worse!