Words you hate hearing

I learned from my wife that legal documents are annoying AF. Much of it is tradition and much of it is the result of a very specific and usually very dumb incident that requires dumb specificity.

 

"Carmuhl"

Seriously, I love y'all anyway even if you do need to let me order for you at the Dairy Queen.

Honorable mentions:

Fundie people who replace the "s" at the ends of words with "z." Stop trying to make fetch happen!

The same group is often guilty of turning nouns into verbs. ex: "God purposed me to buy a red MAGA thong." They have GOT to learn proper English the way the Baby Jesus intended!

 

Tradition? You don't say.

 

Derogatory words for women. The ones that rhymes with shut, rich and door. Hate 'em. Never have used 'em.

 

Not a fan, either. I did laugh at an Aussie friend's description of UberEats in her part of the world.

The driver arrives, sees there is no doorbell, stands in the middle of the porch and screams, "Oi! C**t! Yer food's here!"

 

The one that absolutely drives me to madness is people saying "cent" for anything over one cent. "That'll be 12 dollars and 52 cent."

Adults fucking do this in NC. I've hated it all my life. ALL my life.

 

I read the first line and immediately thought of my wife and extended family. Drives me nuts.
I read the second line and laughed out loud because, yep.

Between my wife and four brothers and sisters in law, we have a masters from ECU and two from UNC, and another bachelors from UNC and one from NC State.

"Ain't" is part of my natural dialect. Sorry. My one brother in law tells my great nieces (his granddaughters) "Just because uncle Drift says ain't, you can't say it."
I'm like, "Dude, you have an MBA from Carolina and say cent, war-ter, and shrimps. Don't worry about me saying ain't."

 

One of y’all complains about me saying warshrag and we’re going to take it to the parking lot.

 

is Fiddy a Tar Heel?

 

My sister-in-law is from Georgia but has has lived in L.A. for 50 years. She wants her daughter to take her to "Hawaiuh" so she can sip mai-tais by the pool.

 

I love hearing residents of the Evergreen State add an R to our state’s name.