MLB to Small Town America: Drop Dead

I don’t understand the strategy there. Minor league teams’ profit margins aren’t exactly big.

 

Was talking to a front-office buddy from our local minor-league team that has been purchased by Diamond Baseball Holdings, and he said it's been a mixed bag. The financial support has been worth it all, but some of the shit they pull makes them roll their eyes.

Like they signed some sponsorship agreement with an Oat Milk company, so every one of their teams had to play a game last season as "The Oat Milkers"

My friend is an old-school baseball guy, so it set him off: "These kids dream their entire life of playing professional baseball, and instead of having them show some pride with <big-league team nickname> on their chest, we are making them wear uniforms that look like burlap bags and play as the fucking Oat Milkers?"

 

You only cover us when we’re called the Fucking Oat Milkers!!!

 

If NPR wasn't thought of as a Communist organization in Mississippi, I think it would be great for Montgomery to play one game every season as the Powdermilk Biscuits.

 

This front office guy is the same one who, back when I was covering the team and in the press box on a Memorial Day game, saw one of my favorite in-person rants of all time.

The guy supplying the press box food served up some sweet-and-sour chicken, with egg rolls and fried rice.

He took one look at the spread and came unglued, going off on the cook when he came up to check on food levels.

"This is an American fucking holiday! I don't want to see Chinese food up here. I want to see fucking hot dogs, fucking pasta salad, fucking hamburgers and potato chips! How the fuck do you think this is acceptable! I swear to God, if we get to the Fourth of July and I see Chinese food or a fucking taco bar, I will fire your fucking ass on the spot!"

 

I thought about that when my friend was hired to manage the Modesto Nuts. And then there are Trash Pandas and Yard Goats.

 

Our local team seems to wear different jerseys for every homestand - ugly Christmas sweaters, Superhero nights, old-school video games, alternate nicknames, etc. And they auction off all of them for charity.

This is my "old man yelling at cloud" coming through, but how about wearing a home jersey, a road jersey, and a Sunday alternate? Fuck all this other bullshit. And spare me the "Christmas in July" garbage promo nights.

 

I was just sharing a story with friends about going to "Win a car night" in Lake Elsinore. Except the cars were used and mostly junkers.

One of my co-workers won an old van and the dealer sponsoring the event immediately bought it back from him for, IIRC, $300.

 

I thought there was a big lawsuit from the dairy industry against the oat milkers forcing them to basically quit calling themselves milk.