Stupid mistakes/ER Visit

I have one clumsy and one athletic teenager, so we’re familiar with the ER, with everything from concussions to ankle sprains and testicular torsions that ended in surgery.

My last trip was was a ruptured appendix in flight between Bagram and Jalalabad in October 2012.

 

Probably about 10 years ago.
I was trying to take a hand saw out of its plastic package/sheath and it was being stubborn. When it finally gave way, it ripped across my left middle finger and chewed it up good. Lots of blood and a ragged-looking wound.

I washed it off in the sink, grabbed some paper towels and pressed as tight as I could. A few minutes later I drove myself to the ER about 10 minutes away, pretty much one-handed so I could keep pressure on my finger.

Got there and it took them 30 or 40 minutes to look at it. When they finally got to me, I unpacked the towels and the bleeding had stopped although the wound still looked nasty.
They gave me three stitches. I removed them myself about a week later, which made me feel like a bad ass. Also have a small scar from it.
And, ever since then, I wear an oven mitt when I take that saw out of the package/sheath. It's probably saved me from having two or three more similar incidents.

 

Last day of school last June, I hadn’t eaten and wasn’t drinking much water. Very busy day and I was emptying my classroom ahead of my school change. I realized I hadn’t eaten, so I grabbed a burrito. Short time later, I got dizzy and my heart was racing and I had to sit down. Eventually had some stomach issues and just was feeling off.

Finally went in to get checked. BP was high but heart was fine, no stroke, no pneumonia, no Covid or anything else. Probably was stressed and dehydrated.

While I was there, two drunk guys were sitting in the waiting room. One clearly messed up his face. His buddy was calling everyone to tell them they were in the ER because the guy’s face was messed up and each time he’d laugh really hard then call his buddy a dumbass. His buddy was too drunk to care.

 

A year ago tomorrow, and it had nothing to do with being klutzy. I was driving, and something started coming over me. I'd stop for a bit, walk around, shake it off, and be OK for a bit, then it would start again. I was losing motor control and had trouble speaking. I got scared, thinking I was having a stroke or something and pulled into the next ER I saw outside of Charlotte. It was all I could do to get myself inside and communicate what was happening.
They assumed I was on drugs, and did all kinds of BS. Toxicology came back pure as the driven snow. They got a hold of my wife, doped me up, and sent me on my way. The next day I was at my own doctor, and a week later I was getting a CT scan and seeing a neurologist. I've been on medication ever since. My doctor sent that ER doctor a strongly worded FU email for assuming I was on drugs.
I'm still kind of embarrassed by having to haul myself into an ER, but it was the right thing to do.

Prior to that, my last visit was Dec. 31, 1994 when I broke my leg.
I'm plenty klutzy, though.. cutting myself with a chainsaw, breaking my nose more than once, concussions, etc.

 

As a vet of at least 10 ER visits for shoulder dislocations (from diving for balls while at SS, had two surgeries), I learned the louder you scream, faster you are seen in ER.

 

Almost 10 years ago at my parents' house in Florida. Marble bathroom tiles 1-Mike 0. Broken wrist and several head cuts.

 

I was 23 or so. Party got out of control and I poured a beer on my best friend’s head because I thought it would be funny. He didn’t find it funny. Instead of whipping my ass, he went off to a bedroom to cool off. I was apologizing through the door when he opened it and it caught my forehead just right. I was drunk enough to where it didn’t hurt, but all of a sudden his face changed and he was like, “Dude, you’re bleeding.” My then-wife took me to the ER at like 3 am, where I got five stitches, no anesthesia needed. Doc looked at me like I was an idiot, but he said, “This isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve seen tonight.”

 

I hope you at least got a free drink.

 

I think I posted on the Mort RIP thread about the time he jumped off the back of a chair, over a table. His foot hit and broke a drinking glass into the back of the wrist of another sports writer. I took the injured scribe to the ER. It wasn't until he started bleeding all over the floor in the waiting area that we got attention from a doctor. He suffered sliced wrist ligaments. There were reasons he was called "Mad Dog Mort." But, RIP.

 

Something like that, although I can't speak of details.

 

I believe I’ve written here of my minor stroke/TIA exacerbated by morbid hypertension in 2021.

 

One ER stop I probably should have made, but didn't.

Taking the granddaughters around the neighborhood on Halloween four years ago, I turned my ankle over on the raised edge of a driveway. Then, I couldn't keep my balance and face-planted directly onto the street. That's when I saw the flash that spells concussion.

But I picked myself off and hobbled away toward home. When I got there, my wife, who was handing out candy, thought I was imitating the Hunchback of Notre Dame as I lurched up the street with a sprained ankle, black eye and various scrapes.