Face it: Daughter may want to have sex before marriage

Why is that, if I might ask? Is the lack of experience too much to overcome, or is it the wondering if something better is out there? What if it's a genuine personal choice, not made out of repression or any other fervor?

Not delving into asshattery here -- I'm genuinely curious.

 

The vaccination was not enacted by the legislature, but rather by an executive order by Rick Perry. Well, guess what? Turns out Gov. Goodhair's practically on Merck's payroll — the maker of the HPV vaccine.

Since then, the AG has ruled that Perry does not have the constitutional power to order these vaccines and the legislature has moved to rescind it.

Perry is as crooked as a corkscrew. He's also taken campaign donations from TXU (a company that would make Enron blush) and Cintra (a company that wants to build the bloated Trans Texas Corridor and charge tolls for it). That may just be the tip of the iceberg.

There's a cell in Club Fed with Gov. Goodhair's name all over it.

 

Not to answer for someone else, but I was 27 when I started dating another 27-year-old who also happened to be a virgin. It's not so much a lack of enjoyment in sex, but rather a lack of overall intimacy. The casual touching which lovers do, the hand-holding and hugging which come so naturally are things that this girl never did, mainly because she didn't know how to be affectionate thanks to a life of celibacy.

Maybe this was one isolated instance, but I'm thinking not.

 

Likewise, speaking just for myself, I was always very wary about the possibility of getting to my wedding night and finding out that my spouse was going to be afraid of sexual contact, or not like it. I had seen this happen with a family friend. This girl was celibate until she was married, and she and her husband were absolutely miserable when it became clear that she saw sex as a not-often-necessary evil. (To ward off the double-standard questions, I feel the same way for a man.)

This is one of the two reasons I believe it's ideal to live with someone before marrying them. The other, of course, is just knowing you can co-exist peacefully 24/7.

Now, as for Tom Petty's concerns ... I'm feeling that, too. After what I just said, it makes me very uncomfortable to know that my 21-year-old daughter may be/is having casual sex. As I write that, it strikes me that this goes against my beliefs for myself and my own partner. But I guess it's just a daddy thing that I have to get through.

Still, I will always be concerned about pregnancy before she settles into a truly monogamous relationship, "accidental" or otherwise. I certainly gave the "safe sex" speech more than once in her teen-age years. I also know that sometimes, people get sloppy when passion is involved.

 

The fathers of these daughters are creepy men.

 

It's weird but this made me think of those Josh Hamilton stories I've read recently. Sex=drugs in that people think if they had one sexual partner/one drink or bong hit then they're forever sinners. They've gone over the edge and there is no going back. They're bad people. So they figure, "Hey I'm already going to hell, might as well have fun."

All things in moderation!

 

OH MY GOSH! I got caught on a plane next to a woman who works at one of these clinics. I was holding my baby, so she must have assumed I was pro-life. So she announces that she works at this great clinics where women think they can get an abortion, but instead they give her sonogram. This woman was going on and on and I just had to sit there because I wasn't going to get into a political debate between Burbank and Denver. Who brings up these things when you're just making small talk?!

I don't care how you feel about this issue. It is not fair to trick people.

 

Oh, but we're showing her there is another choice. :

 

I'm sorry. I'm not seeing a problem with this. It works for the Taliban.

 

My ex that I dated for six months was a virgin. Yup. Mid-30s. Stayed a virgin, too. Wasn't giving it up until marriage. That's not all that uncommon in this fundamentalist/charismatic-dominated part of the world. That's not why we broke up, though.

Don't want to go into too much detail here, but she didn't have anything resembling a functioning sexuality when we got together. It was pathetic. Well, we never made the two-backed beast, but I did help her somewhat during our time together. She had her first orgasm(s) and loosened up in other ways. But it was still difficult. She'd have fits of remorse and get made at me for my lusty ways. Then she'd have fits of lust and get mad at herself for her repressed ways. All I can say to the sex-hating puritans who screwed up this great gal is: Fuck you. Thanks for believing in a freaky god that likes war and hates sex.

 

Good advice. My dad, who wasn't a minister, simply said: "Keep your thing in your pants."

 

Bless you for that, Irish.

This is a country where a naked woman is horrifying but wanton violence during prime time (I'm sorry, I love CSI, but some of those murders are incredibly grisly) is OK.

Priorities.