(In addition to this thread, check out BYH's original Style Guide here... http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/29220/)
I feel as though I should contribute something quality here before I leave Newbiedom. What follows is a compilation of many pages of the SportsJournalists.com Style Guide into a neat and tidy alphabetized collection. Feel free to send/give me updates, and I'll update the post. Enjoy and use often!
THE OFFICIAL SportsJournalists.com STYLE GUIDE
or ;D: Cowardly way of saying something rude but pretending it was a joke. Sometimes just emoticons.
____SportsJournalists.com or sj.ca: A term for a group of posters who are from a certain region or country. nySportsJournalists.com (or nynjSportsJournalists.com) was the first usage of the term. Other past usages: clevSportsJournalists.com, bostonSportsJournalists.com, calSportsJournalists.com.
_____ just ______ and doesn't know why: Whenever a subject comes up that would excite or anger a poster. For example: BYH just sprouted wood and doesn't know why....if Billy Squier (pronounced sqwier) would come up. Or....Slappy just punched a wall and doesn't know why....if Mitch Albom would come up.
70-minus-1: Something spup tried to talk/talked Good Doc into doing.
500...5,000...25,000: 500 posts to become a junior member, 5,000 posts to become a full member. 25,000 to become a senior member; Dooley, BYH and Fenian are the only members to have reached this distinction.
Aliases: Many regulars have them in addition to their "normal" names, Boom is sort of renowned for them. Not sure if there's a term for it, but several board trolls have evolved into some form of respectability.
All SportsJournalists.com first team: The top five vote-getters in a category that has no iron-clad criteria (usually people vote for funnest, or most astute):
2003: Mizzougrad96 (Poster of the year), imjustagirl, BitterYoungHack, 21, Clubber_Slang.
2004: imjustagirl (POY), 21, BitterYoungHack, Khartoum, shotglass.
2005: bubbler (POY), imjustagirl, Hoops_McCann, dooley_womack1, BitterYoungHack
2006: Jones (POY), IJAG, Bubbler, BYH, Whitlock.
2007: First Team: Double Down (POY), Bubbler, Jones, Ace, BYH, Slappy/Zeke (tie); Rookies: Write-brained (ROY), Diabeetus, Mayfly, KG, Friend of a Friend; Canuckistan: Flash; Post: Double Down's creed on young writers (http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/51170/)
Alternate "Armies": Terms coined in derision of the self-proclaimed and self-populated (other than by Rokski, Rokski2, and perhaps Cranberry) JDV Army. The first was Murphy's Army; others have been the jgmacg Navy and the Inky's Black Ops.
And we're baaaaaaaaaaack!: A return to topic/from crash
Anon 3:17: Poster names given under previous incarnations of the board, when logins were not necessary. Short for "anonymous". Instead of a name, posters would address each other by Anon and time. For example, poster Anon 5:23 would address another poster by writing, "Anon 4:49, I think you are wrong."
Antarctica thread: A thread started by Football_Bat in the summer of 2005 originally intended to make SportsJournalists.com members forget about the hot summer. It turned into brief, but glorious magic. "Polar bear repellant" Good times.
Anti-Shoutouts: She who shall not be named had anti-shoutouts. Included were:
--Rainy Days
--When your car breaks down
--When your bench roommate smears lipstick all over the walls
--When athletes won't stop asking for your digits
--Peanut butter ice cream
etc. etc.
Apocryphal stories: Tall tales that make us laugh, though they are almost certainly not true. Buck is fond of them.
April's Fools: The day that dozens of people who stick with one username the rest of the year change their name to something wacky. Genesis of that was March 2004, when 21 wondered what it would be like for everybody to post under another name. I dared her to start, she did, and a bunch of people followed suit. It was suggested it be made an April Fool's tradition, and thus it has been.
Ask Drunk ______ thread: When someone comes on after drinking and starts a thread seeking questions, so they can show how goofy and buzzed they are. Moddy kills thems the second he sees them. The thread that is, not the poster.
Ass Munching: An activity previously unknown to (The Big Ragu), which was described by one of SportsJournalists.com's more perverted posters.
Ass-scented candles: created (by Buck?) to wipe out the stink of cucumber-melon candles, used mainly in hotel rooms or wherever Moddy's birks leave an aroma all their own.
Ass-to-Mouth: This should be self-explanatory, forkers.
Assclowns: A staple insult. It's fairly self-explanatory.
Asshat: Much like assclown.
Asshats & Dicksnorts: The SportsJournalists.com Story: The inevitable tome that will one day recount the board's history.
Attention wart: Someone who overdramatizes the most mundane of life's events, turning the simplest daily problem into a hugely charged emotional event.
Baked chicken: SportsJournalists.com's favorite dish.
Beej: Nickname bestowed upon (BYH) by Dooley. Also known as Dools or The Great Post-Padder.
BFF: Best friends forever, as in my bff Rose.
Big Baby Jesus: aka BBJ or Sidney Crosby. Horny's son, sent to smite evildoers and return hockey to its rightful place in the pantheon of sports.
Big Bowl of Dicks: As in, go eat a big bowl of dicks. I believe it was Big Dog that said it first.
Big Pern: Posted a picture of a parrot on someone's deck. It wasn't around long, but enough prominent posters saw to ensure it will last forever.
BLOGS!!!!: Sarcastic term used whenever someone states that alternative online media, particularly blogging, is the future of the industry
Blue Bird of Cocksuckery, The: The Kansas Jayhawk, coined by Writing Irish.
Blue type: Denotes the sarcasm font. Arose from Yawn's inability to function.
Boardcest: See spup and The Good Doctor. I'm creating this in response to those last two posts
Board Pariahs: People in all walks of life who are reviled by a majority of the active sj membership. Defend these folks at your peril. Among them:
--Barry Bonds
--Ray Lewis
--Pete Rose
--Roger Clemens
--Alex Rodriguez
--Peyton Manning
--President Bush
--The head of JRC
--Chris Berman
--Stuart Scott
--Hawk Harrelson
--Mitch Albom
--Jay Mariotti
--Bill Simmons
--"Lean" Dean Singleton
Boom goes the dynamite: Reference to a painful on-air sports report by a student from Ball State University. It quickly became a catch phrase in broadcasts around the country.
Bootsed, bootsing: To take and/or put it in the ass. A reference to the now-classic boots-and-his-backdoor friend thread. First used as a verb (I think) after mustardbased was hit with $99.75 in "convenience charges" by Ticketmaster for Stanley Cup Finals tickets. Example: I bootsed that chick. Ticketmaster bootsed me. There was some bootsing going on.
Botty Call: a booty call for those who can't spell
Box of Chopped Assholes: Phrase coined by Big Dog to describe ?/when ?
Brad Renfro: The tragic death of this renowned actor shook the very foundations of this board. Never forget this coke addict who immortalized "The Client"
Brook Jacoby: Played in the major leagues from 1981 trough 1992, and in Japan in 1993. He batted and threw right handed. Biding time until he and IJAG can be together *when the restraining order is lifted.
Brown Bunny (or Going Brown Bunny): An exceedingly flattering or glorifying piece of journalism about a person or subject. Or, for the Algonquinian set, what halfmiler / fotf would call a "hagiography." Named for the 2003 movie co-starring Chloë Sevigny, who performed an graphic on-screen act of admiration upon Vincent Gallo.
Buck Loves Pastrami: He finds it to be the most sensual of the salted, cured meats, and we oblige him.
Bump: Adding a cheap, often meaningless post (the single word "bump" is commonly used) to get a dying thread back on the front page.
Butterflied penis: Condition affecting Cadet's ex. It is quite possibly the worst injury ever suffered by a man to his reproductive organs.
BYH, Disappearance of: In 2006, our favourite Eight Second Man left the board prompting many to add BY to their screen names in hopes of luring him back (or maybe in hopes of keeping him away). Like the Prodigal Son (or Roger Clemens), he returned.
BYH Classic: I'll let the man himself explain his fascination with lame-ass hair metal videos and Night Ranger.
Catjacks: Webby's least favorite type of threadjack. Almost always perpetrated by Stan_Solo. Unfortunately, some members find them annoying.
...Charlie Brown: Pays homage to "It's a Crappy Sequel, Charlie Brown!" the longest running thread in SportsJournalists.com history in which board members would say anything that came to mind and follow it with...Charlie Brown. For instance: My Editor Is A Dicksnort, Charlie Brown.
Chazp, Chazp'd: As in who Chazp'd this year-old thread. Chazp is infamous for digging up year-old threads just so he can add an "LOL"
Cheese cracker: Mentioned, but not explained. A synonym for I'd hit it, born out of the board's umpteenth thread ripping Roger Clemens. In this one, a debate broke out about the hotness of Roger's wife, Debbie Clemens, and a poster came up with the succint observation: "I would eat Debbie Clemens like a cheese cracker." Cheese cracker was coined by Chris_L, who also was the first of a handful of posters who would rack up a bunch of posts, nuke himself and start all over. Chris took about a year off before returning as Lou Merloni, but if you added up all his posts since 2002, I bet he'd still be in the top 10. He is also as gay as the day is long. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Chinatown: I remember his first posts, on a thread started by a young lady named Annie...she was asking about how women can get started in the business.
That first post was approximately, what, 3000 words? Each sentence had to be diagrammed to extract the actual meaning. It was as if Yoda had joined the board. 'It is to believe, if one believes, and that is not to say all should believe, and yet many do, that in the course of intellectual pursuit, should you endeavor to pursue such intellect, you may find issues not unlike those you anticipate, which surely you do anticipate else you would not have commenced on the line of thought that inspired this thread.'
He didn't like TV people, he didn't like ESPN, he didn't like sellouts, he didn't like spoiled brats ('You, 21, are a spoiled brat!).
He made my eyelashes dive into my eyelids to avoid being singed. Five minutes on a thread with him, I would have chapped lips and an ear infection. I bit my nails for the first time in my life. I chain-smoked unfiltered Camels (okay, I lit them and let them burn down). I ate Oreos. I loved him. I hated him. My brother, my son, my brother, my....where was I. Oh, sorry.
Then he reached 1000 posts, and Chinatown vanished. Poof. In his place....Alma, the Swedish nurse.
Per Peanut Butter: a big wad of peanut butter can stave off a hangover....allegedly, the grease and fat does something that affects something and, um, yeah. No hangover.
Of course, he was also trying to make me have a seizure and swallow my tongue most of the time, so that may be completely bogus.
(Not sure too many people would recall that one...we must have discussed it recently, yes?)
CIAFL: Certain Idiots Allowed Fantasy League. Created prior to the 2007 Fantasy Football season in response to the NIAFL.
cindybj: Had a three bedroom apartment near the Beijing Olympics she tried renting to sports journalists. There were several incarnations of the thread, but the one that got nuked was pure gold.
Cindy Lou Who: A poster, unquestionably fake, who implied she was being sexually harassed by her female boss, but that she kind of liked it. Went on to several more lurid posts.
Clitori-nough already!: The feeling one gets when one sees three separate threads about a certain notoriously-hard-to-find female organ simultaneously located on the first page at any given point of the day.
Clitorii: The official SportsJournalists.com plural of clitoris. Issue came up on the thread about a woman with two vaginas. Clitorii beat out clits, clitorises and clitorides.
Cockblock: To stop another man from hooking up, in violation of all known man laws. See Mighty_Wingman.
Cockdian:
Cockdiwaffle: The word used when one can't decide if a person is a Cockdian or Twatwaffle.
Coda kitties: Animated gifs of twins cats that shotglass has with his signature, along with text that often sums up a key board theme. Dubbed the coda kitties by me, usually just called codas.
Comet bomb: A container of Comet and a firecracker. Used to exact revenge on evildoers because Comet is almost impossible to clean up, esp. once water is added.
Covering the walls in lipstick: Used whenever an SportsJournalists.commer goes off the deep end. Pays homage, so to speak, to She Who Cannot Be Named, who wrecked havoc on SportsJournalists.com with dramas both real and imaginary. OK, mostly imaginary.
d_b: posting old news as if it just occured, a la the universally derided douchebag deep_backgrouind
Dicksnorts: Term coined by Night Shifter djc3317 to describe SportsJournalists.com's sedate daysiders.
Doggie peripherinia: Sportsbruh's attempt to spell paraphernalia, which makes nearly as much sense as his defense of Mike Vick.
Dooley noted: SportsJournalists.com-specific spelling of the common phrase.
Doucebag: Term used by Mustang when mistakenly arguing that google and Urban Dictionary suggested it was the correct spelling of douchebag. Several Summer's Eve pictures followed.
Douchebox: Term coined by wicked on the Toronto trip.
Douchenozzle: A fluid state of being.
Dr Pepper Lip Smackers: the nearly unanimous decision among female SportsJournalists.com posters as the best lip gloss ever. This was brought to light during the Great Lip Gloss Threadjack
DTGDTN: Delete This gosh darn Thread Now!! Used whenever a thread goes beyond the acceptable bounds of stupidity or poor taste.
Dwarf, The: A reference to Detroit Free Press commonest/fiction author/TV host/Radio maven/songwriter and only man capable of being in two places at once. The moniker is in reference to his overall size, not of his ears or self-worth or opinion.
Eddie Munster: A reference to Chicago Sun Times' hatemonger Jay Mariotti. Also see: clown comma ass.
Eight seconds: How long I last in bed. -BYH
End of thread: When someone makes a great post, like sxy's. someone will simply post "End of thread," indicating that the thread can't get any better. The post has had a zero percent success rate so far.
Fail (n.): Non-physical substance that serves as main ingredient of things that are awful. Can be used in place of any negative noun (ex.: failure). Use of this term labels you an internet geek, thus meaning you are made of fail. Example: Nancy Grace's special on Paris Hilton is an orgasm of fail.
Fallout shelter: On any number of occasions when the board goes dark for an extended period of time, microsoft outlook and AIM becomes the vehicle for which to spread the site to where everyone is going, hence, the fallout shelter.
Fanboy looser: Used to describe hardened journalists who still root for teams away from the office. Also see: Moddy.
Fetch me a beer, newbie!: A common reply when a relative newcomer posts something stupid or that has been discussed. It should be noted that this is not necessarily applied to a newbie who posts something stupid or d_b's a topic. Most of the time, it's applied just because we want to.
Finished on her grille: Needs no explanation
Flash: A current poster who flashed her rack on one of her first posts.
Flipper the Dolphin: Buck's girlfriend/significant other or as he puts it, concubine.
Fnord: A random phrase used, sometimes as an insult, by SportsJournalists.com. It's often a standalone post, in the form of "FNORD!" For the real definition, refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fnord
Foof: One who acts like a buffoon, giggles too much, talks too loud and participates only in pack interviews. It's been used in baseball press boxes for more than 30 years.. the first guy I heard use it was Bill Madden. And it seemed mostly to be aimed at the clueless radio guys ("radio foofs") who would invade NY baseball clubhouses in August and September when there were pennant races and ask some of the dumbest questions you ever could imagine... sort of combination fool and goof (get it?)
Fozzie Bear: Pictures of this lovable muppet pop up whenever The Big Lead is discussed. The most common is one of Fozzie on a pay phone, receiving a hot tip from a credible source.
Fraud: Declaration made about overhyped, unsuccessful sporting figures. For example, "Bode Miller is a Fraud." Alternate type: FRAUD.
Fredo: (Occasionally) The incumbent president of the United States.
Freeman's rant: While 21 is correct in proclaiming the Wallace Matthews affair as a watershed moment for the board (whichever incarnation that was), it was actually Mike Freeman who first jumpstarted the old, old Sportspages forum with a long post about his experiences dealing with the teasing and harrassment from his colleagues on the New York Jets beat. Plenty of reaction, for and against, was followed up, and the board, up to that point a vast wasteland, became a happenin' place.
Fruit Rollups: SportsJournalists.com's stockpiled food of choice in case of terrorist attack, martial law, nuclear war or natural disaster such as a hurricane, tornado or a d_b posting.
fork JRC: Sole property of -BYH and WHA
fork Trophy: The net result of breeders. Also called a child.
fork you you forking dickhead: Spnited's response to most who call him an old dickhead.
forking dickhead: SportsJournalists.com's universal term of endearment.
forking stud: Term coined by Mizzou honoring talented young up-and-comers from journalism factories who are landing huge beats shortly after graduation. See also Snow, Chris.
Fun with the Quote Function: Used to describe the practice of changing another poster's words when quoting them to make them appear even more silly than they already are. The SportsJournalists.com equivalent of insider sniping, like other standup comedians mocking Carrot Top for being a lousy prop comic.
FWIW: Short for "For what it's worth"
GOING TO GET A forkING HAIRCUT!!: an SJ activity to combat extreme anger, as coined by Bubbler.
Good enough to work for the Plain Dealer: reference to a sports writer at a small paper in Ohio who kept applying to work at the Cleveland Plain Dealer and never got an interview. He concluded that he was being discriminated against and he filed a lawsuit.
Great Crash of '03: We'd been discovered by people from the ACC fan boards, who'd been around stirring up shirt, so the ACC Fan Boards were also suspected. The board crashed, but it wasn't like a regular crash. It came back seconds later... And all the threads were gone. Also, a few people had their usernames wiped out. Among them: Armchair_QB and 21. Nobody could ever draw a connection. They were having a big discussion over there about our crash and making fun of us; it became dueling online communities.
(Please stay on topic, and [optional]) Have a Happy _____ Day: Combination of two phrases often used by boots to antagonize people. The first part is not used so much anymore; the second part is commonly used. See also: Could you please TAKE IT TO PMs!
He Who Must Not Be Named: For a time, a poster named sauronseye had that designation. He cranked on reporters for being lazy and for feasting on mac and cheese at the buffet.
Heathers: Favorite movie of some SportsJournalists.com regulars that was replaced by Snakes on a Plane. Of course, Heathers2. . . Attack of the Airhead will be out shortly as well).
Hi Sandy!: Along with DyePack, one of the members permanently banned from the board, Sandy was one of the original characters on the old old board (see Board, Old Old) and the old board (see Board, Old). Positive that one of the other posters--not named here out of sheer sympathy and respect--was stalking his posts, flaming him under different screen names each time Sandy posted, he began tracking every moment this poor guy was on the board, comparing language patterns, post times, etc. Unfortunately, the innocent victim posted under his own name, making it easy for Sandy to make very personal attacks, on and off the board. His paranoia was so nutty that other posters taunted him by posting 'Hi Sandy!' every time he went off on his alleged stalker(s). Sandy reappeared on this board without much commotion, until he decided that Webby was actually responsible for more than 20 of the boards more vocal characters, including but not limited to 21, Double Down, Clubber Slang, and many others. After threatening Our Webby in various forms, he was banned, thank God. He later wrote the nasty and wildly inaccurate SJ Wikipedia entry that appeared here.
Bye, Sandy.
Hoff, The: Germany's favorite pop star and the star of SportsJournalists.com's favorite video ever. Honorable mention goes to Billy Squier.
Horny: Celestial unicorn who serves as the God(dess) of the official SportsJournalists.com religion
Husbandry, Horse: Prominent national male writer. Married. Boom started a thread with a painting of a horse. Somehow implied that the horse resembled wife of writer. Then the shirt started flying.
I just wanna race, daddy!: SJ's favorite line from ESPN's "3."
I'd Hit It: Used whenever someone wants to indicate a desire to fornicate with a member of the opposite sex, usually a celebrity.
I'm a llama: A sentence that used to appear as default type in the sidesaddle of every new member of sj. It replaced "I love sportsjournalists.com."
Ignore button: Established by Webby on May 19, 2007, it allows you to hide someone's post from view. Also known as the easy button, it is not to be posted about.
IIRC: Short for "If I recall correctly"
IMO, IMHO: Short for "In my opinion" and "In my humble opinion"
J.J.'s Place: The board crashed for weeks and, desperate, we took over another site that 21 found. The name of the site was J.J.'s Place, and you'll sometimes see a passing reference to it. It was an offshoot of a poetry site. J.J. himself was really surprised when it had sat virtually unhit for 2 years, then suddenly, the site had about 200 new users. With no moderators, the site was-- you guessed it-- shut down, and eventually J.J. came over here to post a greeting once our site was back up. He cordially invited us to visit the actual poetry section of his site anytime.
JDV: Thread thriller and lady killer. More relevant information at: baldingdouche.com
Jeers: The easy winner of a discussion about how to title the SportsJournalists.com neighborhood bar ambiance that Moddy has fostered. Johnny_dangerously came up with it, and the slogan "where nobody knows your name." It was decided that the restaurant downstairs would be Assclowns.
Jesus Wept: The final abandonment of an argument. Fenian's version of Nolo Contendre. – Boom. Actually, it's my version of "O, Christ will they ever get Boom's dosage right?" -Fenian
Just spit coke everywhere: A response used when somebody posts something outrageously funny. The phrase means that it was so funny, that the reader actually spit coke everywhere. See also, Coke Everywhere, Coke All Over Keyboard, etc...
Kate McDowell: Student sex columnist at an Ivy League school. Someone here linked to a column she wrote that was a how-to on anal sex. The word "flecked" never again had the same meaning to board members. Someone reported on here that she worked for Peter King.
Katrina & The Waves: A thread started initially with a tounge-in-cheek attitude about a hurricane broiling in the Gulf of Mexico, which turned deadly serious when the hurricane made landfall. A twisting, turning thread, it had dispatches from the scene and emotional first-person accounts -- particularly great stuff from Johnny Dangerously and others -- rancor, political firefights, you name it. Great thread. Katrina as a whole probably brought the board down more than anyone thing, at least in (Bubbler's) time.
Krystal Grow: SJ's favorite intern candidate. Intern at a small-town newspaper who gained journalistic acclaim when she didn't get a job at a major magazine despite her 5 (gasp! 5!) clips, and had a running (and hilarious) argument with the editor who denied her the job. She later tried to crash the funeral for HST.
Lazier than Stuart Scott's Eye: Supposedly the phrase that got Kenny Mayne put on shirt detail at the Leader.
Let's Be Careful Out There: A Bootsism, from a thread in which Boots concocted a story about sexually harassing a co-worker. HR admonished him but, within seconds, apologized.
Link Please!!: A demand issued by one of the moderators whenever an offensive picture is posted.
Liza Minnelli: When you're sitting in an airport, and Liza Minnelli rolls by in the honking trolley, surrounded by a man in a pink feather boa and several other attendants to carry her Cheetos and handi-wipes, what else can you do but report it to SJ? Wish we still had that one.
Loopy: A reference to New York comminist Mike Lupica. While it might appear to be an offshoot of his name, it is actually how he acts most of the time.
Looser: Became SportsJournalists.com's spelling of "loser," as per bandwagon_boy's spelling when he came on to take credit for a major board crash.
Lugnuts is a Girl!: All she wanted was to post without being judged on her gender...so she picked a name no one would suspect. Worked great...until the Great Valentines Day Outing. My great friend Lugnuts posted the definition of the perfect massage: one that had no strings attached, no expectation of reciprocation off sexual payback.
Hah. 'You are a chick!' insisted 21.
'How do you know?" demanded Lugnuts.
'Because only a chick would want a massage with no strings attached, guys only want the payback, and by the way, any massage that doesn't lead to sex is a lousy massage anyway!'
'Damn,' she wrote, 'i thought I could get away with it.'
Outed. Best anonymous buds for life, btw.
>> Continued on next post <<
I feel as though I should contribute something quality here before I leave Newbiedom. What follows is a compilation of many pages of the SportsJournalists.com Style Guide into a neat and tidy alphabetized collection. Feel free to send/give me updates, and I'll update the post. Enjoy and use often!
THE OFFICIAL SportsJournalists.com STYLE GUIDE
or ;D: Cowardly way of saying something rude but pretending it was a joke. Sometimes just emoticons.____SportsJournalists.com or sj.ca: A term for a group of posters who are from a certain region or country. nySportsJournalists.com (or nynjSportsJournalists.com) was the first usage of the term. Other past usages: clevSportsJournalists.com, bostonSportsJournalists.com, calSportsJournalists.com.
_____ just ______ and doesn't know why: Whenever a subject comes up that would excite or anger a poster. For example: BYH just sprouted wood and doesn't know why....if Billy Squier (pronounced sqwier) would come up. Or....Slappy just punched a wall and doesn't know why....if Mitch Albom would come up.
70-minus-1: Something spup tried to talk/talked Good Doc into doing.
500...5,000...25,000: 500 posts to become a junior member, 5,000 posts to become a full member. 25,000 to become a senior member; Dooley, BYH and Fenian are the only members to have reached this distinction.
Aliases: Many regulars have them in addition to their "normal" names, Boom is sort of renowned for them. Not sure if there's a term for it, but several board trolls have evolved into some form of respectability.
All SportsJournalists.com first team: The top five vote-getters in a category that has no iron-clad criteria (usually people vote for funnest, or most astute):
2003: Mizzougrad96 (Poster of the year), imjustagirl, BitterYoungHack, 21, Clubber_Slang.
2004: imjustagirl (POY), 21, BitterYoungHack, Khartoum, shotglass.
2005: bubbler (POY), imjustagirl, Hoops_McCann, dooley_womack1, BitterYoungHack
2006: Jones (POY), IJAG, Bubbler, BYH, Whitlock.
2007: First Team: Double Down (POY), Bubbler, Jones, Ace, BYH, Slappy/Zeke (tie); Rookies: Write-brained (ROY), Diabeetus, Mayfly, KG, Friend of a Friend; Canuckistan: Flash; Post: Double Down's creed on young writers (http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/51170/)
Alternate "Armies": Terms coined in derision of the self-proclaimed and self-populated (other than by Rokski, Rokski2, and perhaps Cranberry) JDV Army. The first was Murphy's Army; others have been the jgmacg Navy and the Inky's Black Ops.
And we're baaaaaaaaaaack!: A return to topic/from crash
Anon 3:17: Poster names given under previous incarnations of the board, when logins were not necessary. Short for "anonymous". Instead of a name, posters would address each other by Anon and time. For example, poster Anon 5:23 would address another poster by writing, "Anon 4:49, I think you are wrong."
Antarctica thread: A thread started by Football_Bat in the summer of 2005 originally intended to make SportsJournalists.com members forget about the hot summer. It turned into brief, but glorious magic. "Polar bear repellant" Good times.
Anti-Shoutouts: She who shall not be named had anti-shoutouts. Included were:
--Rainy Days
--When your car breaks down
--When your bench roommate smears lipstick all over the walls
--When athletes won't stop asking for your digits
--Peanut butter ice cream
etc. etc.
Apocryphal stories: Tall tales that make us laugh, though they are almost certainly not true. Buck is fond of them.
April's Fools: The day that dozens of people who stick with one username the rest of the year change their name to something wacky. Genesis of that was March 2004, when 21 wondered what it would be like for everybody to post under another name. I dared her to start, she did, and a bunch of people followed suit. It was suggested it be made an April Fool's tradition, and thus it has been.
Ask Drunk ______ thread: When someone comes on after drinking and starts a thread seeking questions, so they can show how goofy and buzzed they are. Moddy kills thems the second he sees them. The thread that is, not the poster.
Ass Munching: An activity previously unknown to (The Big Ragu), which was described by one of SportsJournalists.com's more perverted posters.
Ass-scented candles: created (by Buck?) to wipe out the stink of cucumber-melon candles, used mainly in hotel rooms or wherever Moddy's birks leave an aroma all their own.
Ass-to-Mouth: This should be self-explanatory, forkers.
Assclowns: A staple insult. It's fairly self-explanatory.
Asshat: Much like assclown.
Asshats & Dicksnorts: The SportsJournalists.com Story: The inevitable tome that will one day recount the board's history.
Attention wart: Someone who overdramatizes the most mundane of life's events, turning the simplest daily problem into a hugely charged emotional event.
Baked chicken: SportsJournalists.com's favorite dish.
Beej: Nickname bestowed upon (BYH) by Dooley. Also known as Dools or The Great Post-Padder.
BFF: Best friends forever, as in my bff Rose.
Big Baby Jesus: aka BBJ or Sidney Crosby. Horny's son, sent to smite evildoers and return hockey to its rightful place in the pantheon of sports.
Big Bowl of Dicks: As in, go eat a big bowl of dicks. I believe it was Big Dog that said it first.
Big Pern: Posted a picture of a parrot on someone's deck. It wasn't around long, but enough prominent posters saw to ensure it will last forever.
BLOGS!!!!: Sarcastic term used whenever someone states that alternative online media, particularly blogging, is the future of the industry
Blue Bird of Cocksuckery, The: The Kansas Jayhawk, coined by Writing Irish.
Blue type: Denotes the sarcasm font. Arose from Yawn's inability to function.
Boardcest: See spup and The Good Doctor. I'm creating this in response to those last two posts
Board Pariahs: People in all walks of life who are reviled by a majority of the active sj membership. Defend these folks at your peril. Among them:
--Barry Bonds
--Ray Lewis
--Pete Rose
--Roger Clemens
--Alex Rodriguez
--Peyton Manning
--President Bush
--The head of JRC
--Chris Berman
--Stuart Scott
--Hawk Harrelson
--Mitch Albom
--Jay Mariotti
--Bill Simmons
--"Lean" Dean Singleton
Boom goes the dynamite: Reference to a painful on-air sports report by a student from Ball State University. It quickly became a catch phrase in broadcasts around the country.
Bootsed, bootsing: To take and/or put it in the ass. A reference to the now-classic boots-and-his-backdoor friend thread. First used as a verb (I think) after mustardbased was hit with $99.75 in "convenience charges" by Ticketmaster for Stanley Cup Finals tickets. Example: I bootsed that chick. Ticketmaster bootsed me. There was some bootsing going on.
Botty Call: a booty call for those who can't spell
Box of Chopped Assholes: Phrase coined by Big Dog to describe ?/when ?
Brad Renfro: The tragic death of this renowned actor shook the very foundations of this board. Never forget this coke addict who immortalized "The Client"
Brook Jacoby: Played in the major leagues from 1981 trough 1992, and in Japan in 1993. He batted and threw right handed. Biding time until he and IJAG can be together *when the restraining order is lifted.
Brown Bunny (or Going Brown Bunny): An exceedingly flattering or glorifying piece of journalism about a person or subject. Or, for the Algonquinian set, what halfmiler / fotf would call a "hagiography." Named for the 2003 movie co-starring Chloë Sevigny, who performed an graphic on-screen act of admiration upon Vincent Gallo.
Buck Loves Pastrami: He finds it to be the most sensual of the salted, cured meats, and we oblige him.
Bump: Adding a cheap, often meaningless post (the single word "bump" is commonly used) to get a dying thread back on the front page.
Butterflied penis: Condition affecting Cadet's ex. It is quite possibly the worst injury ever suffered by a man to his reproductive organs.
BYH, Disappearance of: In 2006, our favourite Eight Second Man left the board prompting many to add BY to their screen names in hopes of luring him back (or maybe in hopes of keeping him away). Like the Prodigal Son (or Roger Clemens), he returned.
BYH Classic: I'll let the man himself explain his fascination with lame-ass hair metal videos and Night Ranger.
Catjacks: Webby's least favorite type of threadjack. Almost always perpetrated by Stan_Solo. Unfortunately, some members find them annoying.
...Charlie Brown: Pays homage to "It's a Crappy Sequel, Charlie Brown!" the longest running thread in SportsJournalists.com history in which board members would say anything that came to mind and follow it with...Charlie Brown. For instance: My Editor Is A Dicksnort, Charlie Brown.
Chazp, Chazp'd: As in who Chazp'd this year-old thread. Chazp is infamous for digging up year-old threads just so he can add an "LOL"
Cheese cracker: Mentioned, but not explained. A synonym for I'd hit it, born out of the board's umpteenth thread ripping Roger Clemens. In this one, a debate broke out about the hotness of Roger's wife, Debbie Clemens, and a poster came up with the succint observation: "I would eat Debbie Clemens like a cheese cracker." Cheese cracker was coined by Chris_L, who also was the first of a handful of posters who would rack up a bunch of posts, nuke himself and start all over. Chris took about a year off before returning as Lou Merloni, but if you added up all his posts since 2002, I bet he'd still be in the top 10. He is also as gay as the day is long. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Chinatown: I remember his first posts, on a thread started by a young lady named Annie...she was asking about how women can get started in the business.
That first post was approximately, what, 3000 words? Each sentence had to be diagrammed to extract the actual meaning. It was as if Yoda had joined the board. 'It is to believe, if one believes, and that is not to say all should believe, and yet many do, that in the course of intellectual pursuit, should you endeavor to pursue such intellect, you may find issues not unlike those you anticipate, which surely you do anticipate else you would not have commenced on the line of thought that inspired this thread.'
He didn't like TV people, he didn't like ESPN, he didn't like sellouts, he didn't like spoiled brats ('You, 21, are a spoiled brat!).
He made my eyelashes dive into my eyelids to avoid being singed. Five minutes on a thread with him, I would have chapped lips and an ear infection. I bit my nails for the first time in my life. I chain-smoked unfiltered Camels (okay, I lit them and let them burn down). I ate Oreos. I loved him. I hated him. My brother, my son, my brother, my....where was I. Oh, sorry.
Then he reached 1000 posts, and Chinatown vanished. Poof. In his place....Alma, the Swedish nurse.
Per Peanut Butter: a big wad of peanut butter can stave off a hangover....allegedly, the grease and fat does something that affects something and, um, yeah. No hangover.
Of course, he was also trying to make me have a seizure and swallow my tongue most of the time, so that may be completely bogus.
(Not sure too many people would recall that one...we must have discussed it recently, yes?)
CIAFL: Certain Idiots Allowed Fantasy League. Created prior to the 2007 Fantasy Football season in response to the NIAFL.
cindybj: Had a three bedroom apartment near the Beijing Olympics she tried renting to sports journalists. There were several incarnations of the thread, but the one that got nuked was pure gold.
Cindy Lou Who: A poster, unquestionably fake, who implied she was being sexually harassed by her female boss, but that she kind of liked it. Went on to several more lurid posts.
Clitori-nough already!: The feeling one gets when one sees three separate threads about a certain notoriously-hard-to-find female organ simultaneously located on the first page at any given point of the day.
Clitorii: The official SportsJournalists.com plural of clitoris. Issue came up on the thread about a woman with two vaginas. Clitorii beat out clits, clitorises and clitorides.
Cockblock: To stop another man from hooking up, in violation of all known man laws. See Mighty_Wingman.
Cockdian:
Cockdiwaffle: The word used when one can't decide if a person is a Cockdian or Twatwaffle.
Coda kitties: Animated gifs of twins cats that shotglass has with his signature, along with text that often sums up a key board theme. Dubbed the coda kitties by me, usually just called codas.
Comet bomb: A container of Comet and a firecracker. Used to exact revenge on evildoers because Comet is almost impossible to clean up, esp. once water is added.
Covering the walls in lipstick: Used whenever an SportsJournalists.commer goes off the deep end. Pays homage, so to speak, to She Who Cannot Be Named, who wrecked havoc on SportsJournalists.com with dramas both real and imaginary. OK, mostly imaginary.
d_b: posting old news as if it just occured, a la the universally derided douchebag deep_backgrouind
Dicksnorts: Term coined by Night Shifter djc3317 to describe SportsJournalists.com's sedate daysiders.
Doggie peripherinia: Sportsbruh's attempt to spell paraphernalia, which makes nearly as much sense as his defense of Mike Vick.
Dooley noted: SportsJournalists.com-specific spelling of the common phrase.
Doucebag: Term used by Mustang when mistakenly arguing that google and Urban Dictionary suggested it was the correct spelling of douchebag. Several Summer's Eve pictures followed.
Douchebox: Term coined by wicked on the Toronto trip.
Douchenozzle: A fluid state of being.
Dr Pepper Lip Smackers: the nearly unanimous decision among female SportsJournalists.com posters as the best lip gloss ever. This was brought to light during the Great Lip Gloss Threadjack
DTGDTN: Delete This gosh darn Thread Now!! Used whenever a thread goes beyond the acceptable bounds of stupidity or poor taste.
Dwarf, The: A reference to Detroit Free Press commonest/fiction author/TV host/Radio maven/songwriter and only man capable of being in two places at once. The moniker is in reference to his overall size, not of his ears or self-worth or opinion.
Eddie Munster: A reference to Chicago Sun Times' hatemonger Jay Mariotti. Also see: clown comma ass.
Eight seconds: How long I last in bed. -BYH
End of thread: When someone makes a great post, like sxy's. someone will simply post "End of thread," indicating that the thread can't get any better. The post has had a zero percent success rate so far.
Fail (n.): Non-physical substance that serves as main ingredient of things that are awful. Can be used in place of any negative noun (ex.: failure). Use of this term labels you an internet geek, thus meaning you are made of fail. Example: Nancy Grace's special on Paris Hilton is an orgasm of fail.
Fallout shelter: On any number of occasions when the board goes dark for an extended period of time, microsoft outlook and AIM becomes the vehicle for which to spread the site to where everyone is going, hence, the fallout shelter.
Fanboy looser: Used to describe hardened journalists who still root for teams away from the office. Also see: Moddy.
Fetch me a beer, newbie!: A common reply when a relative newcomer posts something stupid or that has been discussed. It should be noted that this is not necessarily applied to a newbie who posts something stupid or d_b's a topic. Most of the time, it's applied just because we want to.
Finished on her grille: Needs no explanation
Flash: A current poster who flashed her rack on one of her first posts.
Flipper the Dolphin: Buck's girlfriend/significant other or as he puts it, concubine.
Fnord: A random phrase used, sometimes as an insult, by SportsJournalists.com. It's often a standalone post, in the form of "FNORD!" For the real definition, refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fnord
Foof: One who acts like a buffoon, giggles too much, talks too loud and participates only in pack interviews. It's been used in baseball press boxes for more than 30 years.. the first guy I heard use it was Bill Madden. And it seemed mostly to be aimed at the clueless radio guys ("radio foofs") who would invade NY baseball clubhouses in August and September when there were pennant races and ask some of the dumbest questions you ever could imagine... sort of combination fool and goof (get it?)
Fozzie Bear: Pictures of this lovable muppet pop up whenever The Big Lead is discussed. The most common is one of Fozzie on a pay phone, receiving a hot tip from a credible source.
Fraud: Declaration made about overhyped, unsuccessful sporting figures. For example, "Bode Miller is a Fraud." Alternate type: FRAUD.
Fredo: (Occasionally) The incumbent president of the United States.
Freeman's rant: While 21 is correct in proclaiming the Wallace Matthews affair as a watershed moment for the board (whichever incarnation that was), it was actually Mike Freeman who first jumpstarted the old, old Sportspages forum with a long post about his experiences dealing with the teasing and harrassment from his colleagues on the New York Jets beat. Plenty of reaction, for and against, was followed up, and the board, up to that point a vast wasteland, became a happenin' place.
Fruit Rollups: SportsJournalists.com's stockpiled food of choice in case of terrorist attack, martial law, nuclear war or natural disaster such as a hurricane, tornado or a d_b posting.
fork JRC: Sole property of -BYH and WHA
fork Trophy: The net result of breeders. Also called a child.
fork you you forking dickhead: Spnited's response to most who call him an old dickhead.
forking dickhead: SportsJournalists.com's universal term of endearment.
forking stud: Term coined by Mizzou honoring talented young up-and-comers from journalism factories who are landing huge beats shortly after graduation. See also Snow, Chris.
Fun with the Quote Function: Used to describe the practice of changing another poster's words when quoting them to make them appear even more silly than they already are. The SportsJournalists.com equivalent of insider sniping, like other standup comedians mocking Carrot Top for being a lousy prop comic.
FWIW: Short for "For what it's worth"
GOING TO GET A forkING HAIRCUT!!: an SJ activity to combat extreme anger, as coined by Bubbler.
Good enough to work for the Plain Dealer: reference to a sports writer at a small paper in Ohio who kept applying to work at the Cleveland Plain Dealer and never got an interview. He concluded that he was being discriminated against and he filed a lawsuit.
Great Crash of '03: We'd been discovered by people from the ACC fan boards, who'd been around stirring up shirt, so the ACC Fan Boards were also suspected. The board crashed, but it wasn't like a regular crash. It came back seconds later... And all the threads were gone. Also, a few people had their usernames wiped out. Among them: Armchair_QB and 21. Nobody could ever draw a connection. They were having a big discussion over there about our crash and making fun of us; it became dueling online communities.
(Please stay on topic, and [optional]) Have a Happy _____ Day: Combination of two phrases often used by boots to antagonize people. The first part is not used so much anymore; the second part is commonly used. See also: Could you please TAKE IT TO PMs!
He Who Must Not Be Named: For a time, a poster named sauronseye had that designation. He cranked on reporters for being lazy and for feasting on mac and cheese at the buffet.
Heathers: Favorite movie of some SportsJournalists.com regulars that was replaced by Snakes on a Plane. Of course, Heathers2. . . Attack of the Airhead will be out shortly as well).
Hi Sandy!: Along with DyePack, one of the members permanently banned from the board, Sandy was one of the original characters on the old old board (see Board, Old Old) and the old board (see Board, Old). Positive that one of the other posters--not named here out of sheer sympathy and respect--was stalking his posts, flaming him under different screen names each time Sandy posted, he began tracking every moment this poor guy was on the board, comparing language patterns, post times, etc. Unfortunately, the innocent victim posted under his own name, making it easy for Sandy to make very personal attacks, on and off the board. His paranoia was so nutty that other posters taunted him by posting 'Hi Sandy!' every time he went off on his alleged stalker(s). Sandy reappeared on this board without much commotion, until he decided that Webby was actually responsible for more than 20 of the boards more vocal characters, including but not limited to 21, Double Down, Clubber Slang, and many others. After threatening Our Webby in various forms, he was banned, thank God. He later wrote the nasty and wildly inaccurate SJ Wikipedia entry that appeared here.
Bye, Sandy.
Hoff, The: Germany's favorite pop star and the star of SportsJournalists.com's favorite video ever. Honorable mention goes to Billy Squier.
Horny: Celestial unicorn who serves as the God(dess) of the official SportsJournalists.com religion
Husbandry, Horse: Prominent national male writer. Married. Boom started a thread with a painting of a horse. Somehow implied that the horse resembled wife of writer. Then the shirt started flying.
I just wanna race, daddy!: SJ's favorite line from ESPN's "3."
I'd Hit It: Used whenever someone wants to indicate a desire to fornicate with a member of the opposite sex, usually a celebrity.
I'm a llama: A sentence that used to appear as default type in the sidesaddle of every new member of sj. It replaced "I love sportsjournalists.com."
Ignore button: Established by Webby on May 19, 2007, it allows you to hide someone's post from view. Also known as the easy button, it is not to be posted about.
IIRC: Short for "If I recall correctly"
IMO, IMHO: Short for "In my opinion" and "In my humble opinion"
J.J.'s Place: The board crashed for weeks and, desperate, we took over another site that 21 found. The name of the site was J.J.'s Place, and you'll sometimes see a passing reference to it. It was an offshoot of a poetry site. J.J. himself was really surprised when it had sat virtually unhit for 2 years, then suddenly, the site had about 200 new users. With no moderators, the site was-- you guessed it-- shut down, and eventually J.J. came over here to post a greeting once our site was back up. He cordially invited us to visit the actual poetry section of his site anytime.
JDV: Thread thriller and lady killer. More relevant information at: baldingdouche.com
Jeers: The easy winner of a discussion about how to title the SportsJournalists.com neighborhood bar ambiance that Moddy has fostered. Johnny_dangerously came up with it, and the slogan "where nobody knows your name." It was decided that the restaurant downstairs would be Assclowns.
Jesus Wept: The final abandonment of an argument. Fenian's version of Nolo Contendre. – Boom. Actually, it's my version of "O, Christ will they ever get Boom's dosage right?" -Fenian
Just spit coke everywhere: A response used when somebody posts something outrageously funny. The phrase means that it was so funny, that the reader actually spit coke everywhere. See also, Coke Everywhere, Coke All Over Keyboard, etc...
Kate McDowell: Student sex columnist at an Ivy League school. Someone here linked to a column she wrote that was a how-to on anal sex. The word "flecked" never again had the same meaning to board members. Someone reported on here that she worked for Peter King.
Katrina & The Waves: A thread started initially with a tounge-in-cheek attitude about a hurricane broiling in the Gulf of Mexico, which turned deadly serious when the hurricane made landfall. A twisting, turning thread, it had dispatches from the scene and emotional first-person accounts -- particularly great stuff from Johnny Dangerously and others -- rancor, political firefights, you name it. Great thread. Katrina as a whole probably brought the board down more than anyone thing, at least in (Bubbler's) time.
Krystal Grow: SJ's favorite intern candidate. Intern at a small-town newspaper who gained journalistic acclaim when she didn't get a job at a major magazine despite her 5 (gasp! 5!) clips, and had a running (and hilarious) argument with the editor who denied her the job. She later tried to crash the funeral for HST.
Lazier than Stuart Scott's Eye: Supposedly the phrase that got Kenny Mayne put on shirt detail at the Leader.
Let's Be Careful Out There: A Bootsism, from a thread in which Boots concocted a story about sexually harassing a co-worker. HR admonished him but, within seconds, apologized.
Link Please!!: A demand issued by one of the moderators whenever an offensive picture is posted.
Liza Minnelli: When you're sitting in an airport, and Liza Minnelli rolls by in the honking trolley, surrounded by a man in a pink feather boa and several other attendants to carry her Cheetos and handi-wipes, what else can you do but report it to SJ? Wish we still had that one.
Loopy: A reference to New York comminist Mike Lupica. While it might appear to be an offshoot of his name, it is actually how he acts most of the time.
Looser: Became SportsJournalists.com's spelling of "loser," as per bandwagon_boy's spelling when he came on to take credit for a major board crash.
Lugnuts is a Girl!: All she wanted was to post without being judged on her gender...so she picked a name no one would suspect. Worked great...until the Great Valentines Day Outing. My great friend Lugnuts posted the definition of the perfect massage: one that had no strings attached, no expectation of reciprocation off sexual payback.
Hah. 'You are a chick!' insisted 21.
'How do you know?" demanded Lugnuts.
'Because only a chick would want a massage with no strings attached, guys only want the payback, and by the way, any massage that doesn't lead to sex is a lousy massage anyway!'
'Damn,' she wrote, 'i thought I could get away with it.'
Outed. Best anonymous buds for life, btw.
>> Continued on next post <<
