Army Times' Top 10 military films

The big problem with Gettysburg is that a lot of high-falutin' speeches that are so annoying and clutter up the pace -- like Sam Elliott's talk before the battle - are long narrative passages from Shaara's book simply stuffed whole into the mouths of the characters. So all these people sound like 20th century authors rather than 19th century soldiers.

 

Did you want to play volleyball with all those oily guys?

And it is NOT a war movie. Sorry. The 20 minutes or so of fighting does not a war movie make.

 

First off, 'Top Gun' was dumb.
Second, 'Gettysburgh' and particularly 'Gods and Generals' got such bad reviews I've never seen either.
Third, 'Top Gun' was dumb.

 

Well if top gun qualifies -- I think No. 1 on the list should be The Good, the Bad and the Ugly since they were in the military -- albeit briefly -- during the Civil War and even blew up a bridge in an important scene.

 

I'm not saying it should be on a list of best war movies of all time. But, first it is "military" movies, so I think it fits in better than it would if it said "war." Second, I'm not saying it was a wonderful piece of cinematic art. I'm saying it was some great entertainment ... it defines "summer blockbuster" for me. And finally, no, I suck at both self-oiling and volleyball, so I won't be playin' with the boys.

 

Since I brought up Gettysburg, I should point out that yes, most of the dialogue was horrid, not nearly as good as the book. But the battle scenes, particularly early in the movie, were well done.

Only good part of Gods and Generals was the Chancellorsville battle scenes. After watching it I told my wife it was like they took all the good stuff out of the book, and made a movie with whatever crap was left over. Very, bery bad

 

My uncle used to be a drill sergeant (or whatever R. Lee Ermey's rank was) in the Marines. Says it's his favorite war movie and the most realistic. He says he never hit one of the recruits, but he just smiled when I once asked him if he could come up with some great insults like that.

BTW - most of R. Lee Ermey's lines were unscripted, and I believe he was a sergeant in the Marines, too. Damn, he had some great lines.

"GET UP HERE FAT BOY! YOU CLIMB OBSTACLES LIKE OLD PEOPLE FUCK!"

 

Your ass looks like 50 pounds of chewed bubble gum!

 

I don't know if this fits in as a military movie, it was set on a Navy supply ship in the Pacific, but I have a soft spot for "Mr. Roberts" with Henry Fonda, James Cagney and Jack Lemmon. It was the Sunday morning default movie on TBS for a few years, so I saw it dozens of times.

 

Sgt. Hartman: "How tall are you, private?"

Arliss Howard as Cowbo: "Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!"

Sgt. Hartman: "Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high. You trying to squeeze an inch on me somewhere, huh?"

Cowboy: "Sir, No Sir."

Sgt. Hartman: "Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated. Where the hell you from
anyway private?"

Cowboy: "Sir, Texas, Sir."

Sgt. Hartman: "Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas Private Cowboy and you don't look much like a steer so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"

Cowboy: "Sir, No Sir."

Sgt. Hartman: "Are you a Peter Puffer?"

Cowboy: "Sir, No Sir."

Sgt. Hartman: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around. I'll be watching you."

 

"It is I, Ensign Pulver -- And I just threw your stinkin' palm tree overboard!!"

Great movie.

 

The line is "Do you suck dick?" Not dicks.



Why's "Windtalkers" not on this list?