A Crash Davis Moment

So I'm sitting in the bar last night, chillin' on a Killilans and three dozen raw oysters, when the putz next to me says, "Yes, sir, that was hotter than a two-peckered billy goat."

And for the next 20 minutes, he and his pal ponder the phrase, until final I can't take it anymore.

I finally look at the dude and say - in a fairly loud voice - "It's not hotter than a two-peckered billy goat, it's hornier than a two-peckered billy goat. If you're talking hot, then you say "It's hotter than a two-dollar whore." But it is not hotter than a two-peckered billy goat. Not now, not ever. Got it? Huh?"

Swear to god, I came this close to adding, "And women don't get wooly, either."

But I knew dumb and dumber wouldn't get it. [/crashdavisrant]

 

I thought you were going to say you fucked Susan Sarandon.

 

Holy fuck, lono ... I'm giggling my ass off. Front-row seats would have been awesome for that.

No one gets wooly. Women get weary. God, I hate it when people get the words wrong!

 

Fear and ignorance.

 

2 peckers.

Interesting. Concept.

 

She was on my marital freebie list for a long time. An E-ticket attraction, no doubt, but she had to fall in love with someone who was tall, rich, a movie star and politically sympatico. Me? SOL on all fronts.

 

I think the line in City Slickers was "I'm as happy as a puppy with two peters."

 

No, the line in City Slickers was, "I like your ass, may I wear it as a hat."

 

I was always told it was hotter than prison sex, whatever it was.

 

I'm weary from all the stress of reading this thread.

 

Is hotter than a two-dollar whore more or less hot than two rats fucking in a wool sock?

 

It's time to work on your cliches.