Need advice: Child custody battle

I'm with Gannett. It's kind of par for the course.

 

Don't worry, though.

You own a house and your wife is a stay at home mom... It will be a pain in the backside, but don't worry.

 

You've had some good advice here, AreaMan. I would reiterate 21's suggestion about documenting absolutely everything.

I don't think this guy has a hope in hell here, but he could drag this out and be a thorn in your side for a while.......just try your best to stay on the high road and hopefully things should be fine in the long run.

I'll stress this, though - do not bad-mouth this idiot or his parents within earshot of that little girl. Not only because you don't want to poison her against him, something that's just as liable to backfire as anything else, but also because you don't need her letting things slip about what mommy is saying about daddy, and therefore giving him ammunition.

 

My best friend just went through this...made all kinds of good faith verbal agreements because things were 'amicable.' And when things were no longer amicable, poof, there went the good faith agreements.

The time to get it all in writing is when things are amicable. Because once things get ugly, you've lost any chance for an easy agreement.

So is she already in your school now? Can you limit any visitation until there's a structured schedule in place? Sounds like you're going to need one, asap.

 

Yup. We've already spoke about not bringing this up in front of her. We actually almost never speak ill of him in front of her for fear that it would get back to him and he could do something stupid.

 

Yes. She has been in school for about two weeks now. And the father, in the motion papers, wants a "Guardian Ad Litem" in place until the meeting which is on Oct. 5.

 

Hi Area Man

I am a step dad to a 12 year old girl as well and have a similar situatation with my wife's ex.

We moved an hour away from the town they were living. Leading up to this my wife had given more access (joint custody but she had primary care and control) and given him notice that we would be moving. He used my wife's flexibility as a club against her.

He tried all sorts of BS, dragged us into court, suggested that my step-daughter either go to school there or spend all of her weekends there, made up BS about my wife, was just a general dumbfuck about the whole thing.

He is a selfish prick who saw his lifestyle changing, not what was best for his daughter. He dragged us to court a couple times and nothing changed with the custiody arrangement.

This was 4 years ago and now we actually all have a civil relationship. It was hard to get to this point but ultimately worth it for my step-daughter.

The one thing we did the entire time, as hard as it was, was take the high road.

My step-daughter has already started to figure out who has her best interests at heart and who provides the stable, structured environment.

You seem on the right track and based on my experience are doing everything the right way.

 

AreaMan
Make sure that the idiot father or grandparents can't pick the girl up from school. Tell the office that you, your wife and anyone YOU GUYS designate (your parents, wife's parents, neighbor, etc.) are the only ones allowed to pick your daughter up. This is SOP for most schools, but in a situation like yours give them an extra heads up. Double check with the person who dismisses your daughter from school that they know that your daughter is only supposed to go home with you guys. Schools can't change students dismissal plans without a note, but it sounds like this guy and his parents aren't above writing a sneaky note.

 

Wow. Your experience is kind of good news/bad news. But if it works out in the end, I can stomach the legal fights. Thanks for sharing. The wife and I are planning on taking the high road and letting the chips fall where they may.

 

Yes, do take the high road, but, no, do NOT let the chips fall where they may. Be proactive and be aggressive in asserting your rights, because it sounds as if the father is not going to play fair in this situation.

 

Really appreciate the help guys/girls....

 

bump