Home bowl syndrome

Usded to work with a guy who was in the Brituish merchant marine in the 60s and he said there was a Phantom Shitter on his ship. He said four guys could be sitting in the room when suddenly somebody would find a fresh deucer in the garbage can and nobody could figure out who did it or how it got there.

 

In a clutch move one time in the Holiday Inn in Missoula, Mont., I chose to not subject my roommate to my "grump." So I went to the bathroom downstairs near the bar and clogged it. Nobody had to know. :-X

 

Well done. Funny how stuff like that lives on. I wasn't there to witness it, but another buddy of mine cleared out half a Wendy's (or maybe a Hardees) with what has since been dubbed "The People's Fart". This happened when the Rock was at the height of his powers.

Anyway, legend has it that besides the high decibel level, the stink was instant and thick.

 

Crapping at work = getting paid to shit. It's a win/win situation, as long as you can get some alone time.

In retail though, the nasties come out of the woodwork. People, especially women, will shit anywhere in the bathroom. The seat, the floor, walls, sink. Ugh.

At our store, some guy didn't even try to go in our bathrooms. He tried to exit the store and dropped the duece through his pant leg on the floor.

It doesn't compare to this little nugget though:

http://auburnpub.com/news/local/article_37075400-8dd1-11df-b5c7-001cc4c002e0.html

 

Well, that gives new meaning to "pinching off a loaf."

 

Piss doesn't scare me as much as shit. The guy was probably drunk, too, so that helps even more.

 

When I was six, maybe seven, I was sitting down taking a particularly uneventful poop. I had my pants around my ankles, like most people, and for some reason (Maybe it was a little kid chubby, I don't know), I started peeing and it went in between the crack between the toilet bowl and toilet lid and straight into my pants.

I freaked out and, ever since then, I'm paranoid about it happening again and, so, when I'm at home, I like to take off my pants, fold them up, and put them to the side. I also find that it allows me to stretch my legs and get super comfortable.

Try it. It's much better.

 

Oh, CB, why did you hafta ask him to explain?

 

Wow. So that explains that. Now, I really, really hope no one else uses your laptop ... ever!

 

I wish I could unsee this.

 

Schieza...that issue was just covered in a recent funbag. Maybe Tuesday's. And it's very important. The key is to stuff your dick so far down that it's practically fishing. Can't risk something like that happening again.

 

I'm not going to say what Schieza does is normal...but, I will say that when I go before a shower and am all stripped down, it is much more comfortable than the normal way. I guess it's just the feeling of freedom, no constrains so the body and bowels relax.
That being said, before a shower is about the only time I go free spirited. Anywhere else is just bizarre.