Yahoo's Jason King on Donovan, Grant, Pelphrey

I thought it was very well-written.

 

FYI...I wasn't saying it's poorly written. I just wanted to shift the focus away from the easy emotions of the story and to the craft itself.

 

After reading that story, I suddenly didn't care about being blown off by high school coaches.

Alma, I thought it was well-written, because it pulled me through a story on a very difficult topic.

It had a complicated structure, but it was easy to read.

 

I thought it was a well-written piece because it flowed nicely. He didn't try to get preachy or flowery or go over the top with anything. The organization was strong and the story itself is fascinating, so he didn't have to do too much (a good thing) to make this a nice read.

 

Well, it never gets in the way of itself. That's a big strength. It's clear storytelling despite having to explain three different kinds of failed pregnancies.

If I'm the editor here, however, I encourage the writer (I don't know this guy) to tighten certain sentences, paraphrase certain quotes instead of letting the speaker breathe, ditch the date structure for a more thematic one, and at least consider moving the headstone image to the lede (although I get wanting to bury it as a final touch).

 

Fantastic story.

To change the subject slightly, if I may, what do people think of ThePostGame site if you've gotten a chance to look at it? According to this story in the NY Times http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/12/sports/12yahoosports.html?_r=1 it's a new online magazine launched by Yahoo! Today they've got an interesting piece from Jeff Passan about the gun culture in the Dominican that's having a serious effect on MLB players like, most recently, Alfredo Simon. (http://www.thepostgame.com/homepage/201101/unsafe-home)

 

That last point, about the headstone thing being an incredible lede, was the first thing I thought about when I finished the story.

 

On the source of your bias, c'mon, Moddy. The story includes Anthony Grant, and you're a well-known VCU homer.

With that out of the way, yes, it was an excellent read.

 

Jason King ain't much to look at, but the guy can tell a damn good story.

 

Baylor is proud to claim him.

 

ain't much to look at? name me a sportswriter who is. all of us are pretty much frogs....