Happy 80th Beano Cook!

I'd heard a version of that story before but didn't have all the details down, so I'm glad Pete posted it.

And yes, it's an awesome story.

A couple of other Beano one-liners that didn't make the press release:

"The only place tougher to win than at Notre Dame is at Stalingrad." (Not true, but still funny).

and

"The most heated rivalry of all-time is Germany vs. France. No. 2 is Auburn vs. Alabama." (Probably is true).

 

One of my favorites from Beano,

"Three best ways to never get rich are to have a wife, an ex-wife or a car."

 

Beano. Part of great screwups...

 

So when do we get back College Football Quagmires?

 

I really hope this thread has some great Beano stories. I have never met him, but I have heard if you sit at a table with the guy you come away with more than a few great stories to pass on.

I really liked his analogy of a college football team to the Russian Army...

"Great at home. Terrible on the road."

 

"Michigan is the Germany of college football...."

 

Another great Beano line:

"Everything was better 50 years ago except medicine, Civil Rights and air conditioning."

 

Must have said that before HD TV.

I love the heart surgery line.

 

Myself and a few others have lunch w/ Beano every week in Downtown Pittsburgh at this small deli. Have done it going on 10 years ... it is truly an amazing experience.

Perhaps the best one was a few years ago when I had to break the news I was getting married -- if you know Beano, you understand why I phrased it that way - "had" to break the news.

So I say, "Beano, I got engaged."
The response was simple. He shouted, loudly, "WHY!"
Then silence. More silence. Ten minutes of silence as he looked down at his sandwich and ate quietly.
The only other words spoken to me from him was when lunch was wrapping up that day, about 20 minutes later. As we were standing, he shakes my hand and says, "Congratulations for making the biggest mistake of your life."
I'm happy to report I'm still married. And Beano is still pissed about it.

And there is one more: He had an appointment at the cardiologist not long ago and the doctor tells him, "You might have 10 years or so with this heart." Apparently, Beano looked square at the guy and said, "If I bet the over and don't get there, do you give me my money back?"

 

Through the years, Beano's usually been interesting to listen to.
Happy birthday, Beano!

 

Beano's best line will always be what he said when it was announced by Bowie Kuhn that the Iranian hostages were being given lifetime passes to Major League Baseball games.

"Haven't these people suffered enough already?"

 

No, the line was "Haven't they suffered enough?"

Much more punchy.