Manky's Playpen

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Now you aren't even trying.

The guy with five home runs, 56 RBI, 73 runs scored and a .381 slugging percentage is somehow in the same neighborhood as Cano and his 24 home rusn, 105 RBI, 92 runs scored and .520 slugging percentage?

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Best hitter for average. Still mean a lot.

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

No, it really doesn't. Doesn't even come close to changing the fact that Jeter is still only the fifth or sixth-best player on his own team, at best.

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

I wish one day you would tell me what Jeter did to make you hate him. Heh, he probably stole your girlfriend

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

I don't hate him. I see him for what he is.

What did he do to make you adore him so? (I'll spare everybody my best guess at this one).

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

I appreciate greatness. Who will you tell your grandkids about? Jetes or Jhonny Peralta?

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Neither. I don't worship athletes like that. I will teach them to appreciate the games.

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Hmmm...

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Neither. We'll tell them not to be like the biggest dumb ass in the history of the Internet ... YOU!

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

Johnny Peralta couldn't hold my jock. Have you seen who he's banging?

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

More fun with sock puppets on the horizon.

 

Re: Running Derek Jeter Thread

"Grandpa, tell me about how great Jeter was."

"I don't have to, my boy. Here, I'll just point my wrist lazer computer here at the wall, and now we have it up. Let me touch a few screens, to where I have the sportsjournalists.com archives and ..

"Sportsjournal... what!"

"Sportsjournalists.com. It was a great site for the first decade or so at the turn of the century. We talked about lots of things on our home computers."

"Wow, computers were actually at home? That was so long ago? What did you talk about?"

"Well, a lot of things, but a lot of us talked about newspapers."

"News ... what?"

"Newspapers. See, back in my day, we used to write and put pictures on actual paper. That is, until the Internet, and a bunch of greedy people came along."

"Ohhh."

"But it was fun for a long time, that is, until the whole online network blew up during an argument over who was Terry Bradshaw's best backup quarterback. Terry Hanratty or Cliff Stoudt? The site was banned by the government in retaliation.

"How could the government do that, grandpa?"

"Oh, they've been able to do that for years. It used to be the Wild West on the web, only the government decided to take control as part of the Patriot Act. A few more touches on the screen, and ah, here we are, sportsjournalists.com."

"Wow, this site is really old. It looks older than Grandma's fake teeth."

"Don't tell her that, boy, or you'll hurt her feelings."

"Hey Grandpa, what's this joke about someone named BYH and eight seconds ..."

"Er, never mind son. Here, let me show you our wrestling threads."

"Wow, that John Cena guy was hated by everyone. Why didn't they turn him bad?"

"I don't know son, it killed the business. Luckliy, Hunter McMahon Jr. is reviving it. Anyways, let's switch over to the Jeter thread. Ah, here we are. From 2011."

"Wow, this MankyJimmy guy is crazy about Jeter. Who is this guy?"

"Beats the sh--, er, heck out of me, little buddy. I never found out who any of these guys and gals were."

"And he says Jeter was better than Ted Williams and Babe Ruth. That's fucking ridiculous. I did research texts on them for my class, and they both were way better than Jeter."

"Yeah, I know son, and watch your language."

"And he says that Jeter is the greatest of them all? He's full of it. Everyone knows that Barry Bonds was better."

"Shhh, don't mention his name. The government's got spy cameras everywhere."

"And this Jeter was the leader in the postseason. Doesn't this MAnky guy know that there weren't any playoffs for the first 80 years of the majors?"

"Yeah, I know. Crazy, isn't it."

"So then why does this guy keep insisting Jeter's the best?"

"Well son, let me explain something to you. Well, no, your parents should be explaining it to you."

"No Grandpa, you tell me."

"Well, it's about the birds and the birds, so to speak."