RIP Junior Seau

YG, I don't think it was the coping line that was the problem. But this:

 

Ya, I can see how that would offend.

 

WT, you don't seem to be considering WHY any of these people feel this way and that they may not be looking at the world through the right rational lens. But by now we should all be able to agree that for someone to go through with suicide, there's something deeply wrong and there is rarely a single "cause" of the suicide. This is more true in a case like Seau's where, now that people are looking again, there were pretty clear warning signs like driving over the cliff. So how that condition comes to be is the question. Some people are born with it, but research increasingly shows that physical trauma can cause it too.

 

Seau was constantly texting people in his life that he loved them. All the time, not just those messages he fired off the day before he died.
He'd text "I love you" to workers at his restaurant or to people who helped him with his foundation. Given his fondness for sending those kind of texts over the years, there isn't much reason to think what he sent to his children and ex-wife were meant as any last words.

And the idea that suicide -- "wanting to kill" -- is often a temporary thought process is just shallow. There are plenty of people who think about it every day, morning until night, and for one reason or another manage to wake up.
You don't know any more about Seau's mental pain than any of us. It's really unfortunate to throw out this -- "If he truly understood that his kids -- whom he purposely texted that he loved -- will never see him again, ever, he woudn't have done it." -- without having any true idea of what he was going through.
Maybe he thought every single minute of every single day of the pain his kids would experience if he died, and it kept him from killing himself, until he just couldn't handle anymore whatever haunted him.

 

This is a direct result of the divorce. He became depressed because winners don't lose and when you get divorced you lose. He would be alive today if society didn't believe divorce is normal.

RIP Junior Seau

 

I'm still wondering what happened in the aftermath of his car accident a few years ago, where he was arrested for domestic abuse, then after being released from jail, *fell asleep* behind the wheel and drove off a cliff.

I know there were whispers and questions then about whether it was a suicide attempt. If his family and friends didn't do everything in their power to get him talking to a professional about things, even *if* the official version of the accident is indeed what happened, then his blood is on their hands, too.

 

Always love to see the amateur psychologists show up on SJ.

Oh, wait, Write Thinking has a DEGREE in psychology and his professional opinion is:

Suicide is a selfish, attention-getting and emotional but purposeful response to a lack of inner strength or ability to cope with whatever circumstances have arisen to bring a person to that point.

Yes, Junior committed suicide because he was selfish and an attention whore.

Beyond stupid

Then we have this from our old favourite Indiansnetwork:

This is a direct result of the divorce. He became depressed because winners don't lose and when you get divorced you lose.

Even stupider.

 

This was posted elsewhere, and it's an excellent, haunting look into the mind of a depressed man who also happened to be a professional athlete. I'd suggest WriteThinking and others read it:
http://www.sportsnet.ca/magazine/2012/05/03/clint_malarchuk_the_survivor_dan_robson/

 

I read the linked story on Clint Malarchuk. It's powerful, and very good. I can even relate to parts of it.

But I read nothing I didn't expect to read or find out, and it changes nothing about what I've posted, what I have learned, know and understand (as best I can), or what I believe, about depression and suicide. In fact, I think the story only supports what I've tried to express. I also feel validated that the Malarchuk story seems to support my personal feeling that drug-treatment of such conditions is often not necessarily the best answer.

In mentioning my psychology degree, I intended not to brag or sound like I might know it all, but rather, to give some idea of where I might be coming from on this, and to show that I have something more than just a passing interest in the topic. I haven't actually opened a practice, though, so yes, I guess I am an amateur psychologist, although I also wrote that I've had some personal experience with depression and its treatment and resolution, and that point was overlooked or ignored.

All of that said, copperpot, I'm sorry for the loss of your brother to suicide.

Just as I'm sorry for Seau's family's loss of him.

There is clouded thinking involved with suicide. But if it comes to that point, there is a failure to cope, to find strength, to take responsibility, to deal effectively with whatever it is that's bothering the affected individual.

That's not judgment. It's the truth.

I do think it's a selfish, attention-getting act, and maybe that is judgmental on my part, although I think there's an argument to be made for that being factual, as well.

Regardless, I feel worst for those left behind in such cases. No one in Seau's family will ever be able to RIP now when it comes to him. They know nothing for certain, and now they never will, either.

 

IIRC, WriteThinking and I have exchanged PMs on this subject several times over the years. (I hope I'm not confusing him with someone else.) We've agreed to disagree and I won't judge his personal experiences nor his perspective and views on the matter. He has his reasons for believing what he does, just as I have mine.

But I have no problem admitting I had to restrain from punching my computer screen while reading the last two pages. Crass judgments about "a failure to cope ... to take responsibility" show zero understanding of what it is like to live with a mental illness. What it is like to live with depression or have suicidal thoughts. What that does to your brain and your decision-making abilities.

I can only say that I'm glad I never had a psychologist who shared those views, or who had such a clear and unforgiving lack of empathy. And with that, I'll take a deep breath, bite my tongue and try hard not to say anything I'll regret.

 

I'm not being a smartass, but both of you are right.

Now, let's move on.