Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage

Chris Kluwe sends letter to a politician who asked the Ravens owner to have his players not speak out on the issue after Brendon Ayanbadejo comes out in support of gay marriage.

http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_facebook&utm_source=deadspin_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

 

Wow, that was pretty darn fantastic.

 

I thought it was pretty terrible. I mean, it was fine within the Deadspin realm and to entertain people. But if he is actually trying to persuade people to his position he couldn't have come across as any more juvenile. It's the kind of immaturity that gay marriage opponents can use for their own purposes, too.

 

Greatest thing I've read in months. Holy fucking shitballs.

 

Is it too late for me to get "Kluwe's Lustful Cockmonsters" entered in a fantasy football league?

 

Juvenile? He's quoting the Constitution, and correctly applying the First Amendment (which most people are not able to do).

He uses hyperbole to make his point, but it didn't come off as immature to me.

 

Well, first of all he is wrong about the First Amendment, but that's such a common mistake it isn't worth arguing about anymore.


He also uses the words "fromunda," "mindfucking," "holy fucking shitballs." I am going to say those aren't direct quotes from the Constitution. And at several junctures he just resorts to name-calling.

Tremendously juvenile. And actually, probably not the kind of thing that Ayanbadejo and others who take the fight seriously would appreciate all that much.

 

I've heard the open-letter format is smug and pretentious.

 

Awesome, in every way.

 

No, he is not. I guess we can add Kluwe and yourself to the lengthy list of those who don't understand what a First Amendment violation is.

 

An elected government official attempting, in writing, to influence an owner of a highly-taxpayer-funded commercial enterprise to coerce an employee out of exercising his free speech rights absolutely DOES tiptoe right up to (and stomp on) the edges of the First Amendment.

Why didn't Burns just sidle up next to Biscotti in his platinum-plated luxury box at the next Ravens game (pretty much all politicians have access to platinum-plated luxury boxes at NFL games -- the owners know they need to keep their bread buttered and keep all that tax moolah flowing in) and just TELL him that he needs to bring the hammer down? Don't leave a paper trail, dummy.

And the response is indeed awesome. And to anybody offended -- tough fucking shit. Funny how they always cry people are being rude and crude and lewd and naughty and nasty any time anybody dares to blow the whistle on them.

And that's from somebody for whom gay marriage is about the 837 gazillionth-ranking issue on my plate.

 

Could he have used more adjectives?