Worst cliche you keep encountering in coachspeak/interviews

Love those coaches. The college baseball coach around here is great at giving original, top-of-the-line quotes. I was talking to him one night after a game –– one in which the team nearly let a late lead slip away.

His quote: "We need to start putting teams away early and not let them hang around like that. We need to start kicking them in the teeth; right now all we're doing is gently pulling their hair."

 

I've told this on here before, but a legendary small-college baseball coach was approaching 1,000 career victories a few years back. His last team was terrible, however, and it took him a while to finally get from 990 to 999.

Victories 998 and 999 were in come-from-behind fashion during a doubleheader. After game 2, he proclaimed to our beat-writer:

"The only thing I like doing from behind is fuckin'."

 

Usable or not, you could go an entire career without getting a quote anywhere near that great.

 

I despite, absolutely hate with the fiery passion of a thousand white-hot suns any statement that starts with the words: "Basically, we just ...."
Matter of fact, I hate the word just. Lazy-ass word.

 

We have a kid who keeps saying 'We keep pushing, keep pushing on." Sometimes in the same quote. His office nickname is now "REO."

 

I'd fall out of my fucking chair laughing if a coach said this.

 

"The number-one thing for us is ... ," "Well, number-one …," "First of all …," "Well, like I always say …," "We've got to play good, sound defense …," "The kids played real hard. I was proud of their effort …," "This is a big game, and we're going to have to play hard, and play smart …," "Well, if we play like we're capable of, I like our chances."

I could go for days.

 

I had a coach use that small-school line recently, and called him out for it. But he was talking about how his team advanced in a tournament against big schools, so it made perfect sense in context.

Anything involving "play for [insert full length of game here] minutes." Particularly if they get the total wrong. No, Coach, high school soccer is 80 minutes, not 90.

Thankfully, the "at the end of the day" phase seems to have passed.

 

"We just need someone to make a play or two on offense or defense ... "

 

"You know, this team just wouldn't quit."
It was actually refreshing when I talked to a volleyball coach after a particularly lopsided match and she said "you know, I think they just quit out there."

 

Bullshit.

 

I think we should waive the waiting period and put that one in the SportsJournalists.com Hall of Fame.