Dear dimwit on the phone

I wrote this last week ....

... and was berated via email for calling School Y's win meaningless.

 

Last night's call (he first called the pressroom, because "you're in charge of printing the paper.")

Caller: "I was reading your story on the Notre Dame-Oklahoma game today, and I didn't like that you only ran a few paragraphs. It should have been more positive toward Notre Dame. Did you watch the game?"
Me: "No, I was laying out and editing eight pages last night, I didn't have time."

I listened to him go on and on about how great they are, and how we need to run more stories on Notre Dame, "because there are a lot of Catholics in the area." I didn't argue with him, which I could tell was pissing him off. Finally, he starts yelling at me.

Caller: "But once again, typical liberal Podunk Press. You guys hate Catholics."
Me: "Really? Tell that the people who complain during the high school basketball season, and every other high school season, that we're biased FOR the local Catholic school."
Caller: "Well, all of you down there are a bunch of liberals who hate Catholics."
Me: "I'm a registered Republican, and my father is Catholic."
Caller: "Well...all you guys care about is Iowa football."
Me: "Which explains why Iowa State was the top college football story on our front page today."
More silence.
Me: "Anything else?"
Caller: "Nope, I just hate your newspaper and all of the people down there. You guys disgust me. You hate Catholics."
Me: "Of course. By the way, did you know our publisher was once on the Catholic school board in town, and that his wife works at the Catholic high school?"

At that point, there's more silence.

Caller: "Well, I'm sorry if I've wasted your time."
*click*

 

So why do you hate Catholics so much?

 

JBHawkEye's hatred of Catholics reminded me of a call we got a few months ago. Caller started out by asking if Cross-State U's game was on TV. I told her it was and what channel it was on. She then asked why it wasn't in our TV listings; I explained it was on a cable channel we don't include in listings (it's a minor cable channel few people in our area have). She then went on a tirade about how we're biased against Cross-State U, etc., until I told her the person who puts together our listings is an alum of the school and, as far as I know, isn't biased against his alma mater. The call ended quickly after that.

 

Churches who start schools should not have sports teams playing against teams from heathen public schools. Nothing good will come from it.

 

Nope. Readers are willfully ignorant. Let them be and find your fulfillment elsewhere.

 

Told the SE, he laughed and said "Well, don't mention his son on Twitter."

 

I'm filling in for the managing editor. Today, there was an anonymous comment on my voicemail about how disgusted a reader was that an editorial cartoon ran last Tuesday that mocked Democrat voters for not taking the election seriously and having a "horrendous" caricature of President Obama.

Because I put the editorial page together first, it's hard for me to remember what I put on it that day, much less a week ago, so I went to look at last Tuesday's page. Well, that page has cartoons about Lance Armstrong and the Mitt/Big Bird fuss. So I looked at Wednesday's, and that didn't have an Obama cartoon on it, either. And there weren't cartoons on Thursday's or Friday's pages except "Mallard Fillmore." I even went and looked at the pages from two weeks ago to see if maybe this message was delayed in getting here. Nothing.

So unless this guy is offended by Mallard Fillmore (which lampoons Obama almost every day), I have no idea what this guy is ranting about.

 

Good to know you have an SE who has your back.

 

I'm offended by Mallard Fillmore, but just because it's never funny. Less duck, more pig and rat! (Pearls Before Swine.)

 

Maybe part of my confusion is, "Somebody's actually reading Mallard Fillmore?"

 

wanna shut his ignorant ass up forever? use these six words after said coach acts like a fucking tool bag: "can i quote you on that?"

if you really want to drive home the point, add this: once he stammers and says no, remind him that every conversation he has with you is on the record and that you already are going to call his AD and so you can finishing writing a column you're half done with. then ask him if he'd like to go on the record because you plan on paraphrasing his words. fuck him. if the guy wants to play the "who swings a bigger dick?" game, swing a dick back at him.

if you just want to make a point, simply use the six words and drop it. but never let shit go with a football coach ... ever.