Dear dimwit on the phone

I remember covering a regional college cheer competition. I saw a few injuries, but I still remember during a huge routine from a squad with 20 or 30 people on the stage, a girl not being caught right during a stunt, twisting and blowing out her knee as she tried to land, and then dragging herself off the stage without being able to get up, while everyone else carried on like nothing happened.

I still don't fully understand or appreciate cheer, but I do believe that they are athletes and that, glitter and all, some of them are pretty tough. I remember reading that it has the highest injury rate of any high school sport/"sport".

 

Close to 10 years ago, when everyone still had a land line, I got a call from a telemarketer our newspaper group apparently hired. This young girl, who was 6 or 7 states away, proceeds to tell me that the Podunk Press is the No. 1 source for information in Podunk County and so on and so forth. She went through each section of the paper, blatantly reading off a script.

So, to have a bit of fun with her, I said, "Do you know any of the sports staffers there?" She had a list and names me off. I say, "What do you know about him? Would you say he's an attractive guy? I mean, I like his writing, of course, but I can only assume he's very attractive as well."

Well, she didn't know what to say. I came clean and told her that was me, I worked there and I didn't want a subscription.

 

A couple of times., I got a telemarketer asking me to buy a subscription for the Gannett paper I worked at. I'd decline, they'd ask why, and I'd tell them, "I work there." "Oh."

Then when I got laid off, I got another call, declined, telemarketer asked why, and I told them that I had worked there and the company dumped me, and I had zero reason to have interest in their product. Same response: "Oh."

 

Telemarketer = fate worse than death.

I do try to be polite, realizing those poor souls may have no other way to earn a living.

 

We will, from time to time, get a call from a collection agency trying to ping one of my guys.
I have all kinds of fun with those.

 

I'm pretty sure I've shared this on here before, but a few years ago the telemarketers for the other newspaper in town started calling our newsroom to sell subscriptions. I think it took him eight or 10 people in a row saying they weren't interested and why before he realized he should probably skip the rest of the list.

 

I used to have patience, but I'm on the Do Not Call list. With that, I feel that any telemarketer who calls me is not from a legitimate business, so I rip on them endlessly until they hang up.

 

I just look at the caller ID and if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer. If it's a telemarketer, they don't leave a message.

 

I've been through that. Quite fun.

 

So today, we had four local stories out front and ran the Louisville gamer inside.

When I got to the office, my boss was on the phone with with an irate Louisville fan who thought we slighted the Cardinals by putting them inside -- never mind the fact that we had four local stories on the front. Caller couldn't understand why we put his beloved Cardinals on Page 3 or whatever page it was.

I hate our readers sometimes.

 

Sometimes? Just sometimes?

 

There are always going to be a diversity of opinion among readers on what they want to see.

What I learned was local doesn't always mean better or more important. I've been out of the business for more than a year and I don't think I've bothered to read one local high school sports story (other than prep work for a game I was freelancing). I don't have kids in school and it just isn't where my interest is.

I think it's a mistake to automatically assume that just because something is local, the majority of the readers give a rats ass.