The Internet dating world is a cesspool

hotter > not hotter > haybale

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/best-worst-best-okcupid-profile

 

Seems as if internet dating is tougher than doing it the old fashioned way.

 

So we lie by an inch or two, and women can't tell the difference between 8 and 6.

 

New plan: Replace dating with really good porn. Costs significantly less and is much more likely to deliver intended results.

 

That knock on your door is Vombatus.

 

Start with muppet porn. Might remind some of their childhood suspicions of Bert and Ernie.

Work your way downhill from there.

 

I grew up on a farm watching cows, chickens and rabbits fuck.

 

Each other?

 

So did I. I still prefer my porn to feature actual humans, preferably with at least one lady.