Support Clubber Slang's Cut-starter campaign to buy Clubber Lang's boxing robe

Why don't you bring her around to Clubber Slang's apartment later on, and he'll show her what real man looks like.

 

Searching for the damn interview

 

Here ya go ...

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Lucky you, I found it...from (maybe) 2003:
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21 DOES CLUBBER: The Interview

21: The long-awaited interview. Had to be done by a pro, the best in the business.
21: Unfortunately, Ahmad Rashad was busy. So I cancelled my poker night with Maria Shriver to be here.
21: I think i'm nervous. You're a such a big star.
ClubbersFanClub: well, yeah
ClubbersFanClub: i'm nice tho
21: Really? That's not what Sandy says
ClubbersFanClub: who believes anything sandy says? sandy's word is about as good as jayson blair's
21: Maybe Sandy IS jayson blair.
ClubbersFanClub: i wouldn't doubt it
ClubbersFanClub: so is this the interview? or should I ask you later if you wanna hump?
21: Ask me later. I don't know you well enough yet.
ClubbersFanClub: it's on you, you're in charge
21: You like women who take charge?
ClubbersFanClub: don't matter to me
ClubbersFanClub: i can play either way
21: Maybe that's the whole mother thing.
ClubbersFanClub: oh, you're a psychologist, too?
21: This business with humping mothers...do you not know any gals your own age?
ClubbersFanClub: yes, i do, plenty ... most of the mothers i actually hump are mothers of young children, not mine of course
ClubbersFanClub: except sandy's mom, she's smokin
21: So she'd be, what, around 80?
ClubbersFanClub: you think sandy's like 60?
ClubbersFanClub: or 50?
21: We'll get back to that. I picture you with more of a Topanga type of girl.
ClubbersFanClub: well, topanga was hot
ClubbersFanClub: i'll give you that
21: Although a little chunky. What was up with that? Did she not have access to salad?
ClubbersFanClub: well, what topanga are we talkin?
ClubbersFanClub: cuz i mean we saw her grow up
21: Topanga after she married Corey when they were 16.
ClubbersFanClub: i thought they were like 18
ClubbersFanClub: but i know what you mean
21: What's the difference, all completely immoral.
ClubbersFanClub: she was still fuckable
21: Whoa, you would not say that to Barbara Walters.
ClubbersFanClub: are you revealing that you are barbara walters?
21: She wishes.
21: She loves my tits.
ClubbersFanClub: doesn't everyone?
ClubbersFanClub: you seem to breast feed the entire board?
21: They do seem hungry.
21: back to Sandy.....
21: Is it true about Sandy's underpants, that you cut out all the bottoms, so when he put them on, they went all the way up to his neck?
ClubbersFanClub: woah.
ClubbersFanClub: hold up. i have done a damn thing with sandy's underpants, never would
ClubbersFanClub: they're all stained from his dreams of me anyway
21: So for the record:
21: You are not K---- D-----.
21: You do not live in Chicago.
ClubbersFanClub: true
ClubbersFanClub: true
21: You do not own a Members Only jacket.
ClubbersFanClub: true again
21: Too bad, some chicks like that kind of thing.
21: They're insane, but probably need to be laid.
ClubbersFanClub: insane and needs to be laid is my diagnosis, too

21: No girlfriend?
ClubbersFanClub: nope
21: Why not?
ClubbersFanClub: don't really do the relationship thing
21: last time you got laid?
21: By a human?
ClubbersFanClub: i have friends who fulfill needs, that's about all i need
21: Wow, those are nice friends.
21: I have friends, they won't even bring in my mail.
ClubbersFanClub: girlfriends need presents and shit
ClubbersFanClub: who got time for that
21: Not all need presents. I am not a present kind of girlfriend.
21: I'm only in it for the sex.
ClubbersFanClub: are you suggesting something?
21: Whoa, both hands on the keyboard, buddy.
ClubbersFanClub: i should say the same to you
ClubbersFanClub: you want me
ClubbersFanClub: it's obvious
21: I am completely committed to another man.
21: Anyway. How's the humping roommate.
ClubbersFanClub: he's layin on the couch watching tv
21: Go spill something on him.
21: See if he gets up.
ClubbersFanClub: naw, he'll fuckin whine, then i won'thear the end of it
21: maybe he's really sandy!
ClubbersFanClub: ya never know
ClubbersFanClub: he's got a real man's name tho
ClubbersFanClub: not that sandy, kelly, crap
ClubbersFanClub: i don't know why any man would assume a name like sandy
21: Maybe that's his mom's name
ClubbersFanClub: i don't know nothin about his mama
21: Liar.
ClubbersFanClub: swear
21: I saw you sneakin out of the assisted living facility at 2 am
ClubbersFanClub: see, i knew you wanted me, you're stalking me
21: i just wanted to borrow some money
21: Boom likes presents.
ClubbersFanClub: i'll give YOU a present
21: Really? What?
ClubbersFanClub: a little of clubber's boom
21: I got more boom than I can handle, baby.
21: Come on, impress me.
ClubbersFanClub: come on what?
21: Right now, probably your laptop.
ClubbersFanClub: what about your lap and your top?
21: You would never say that to Katie Couric.
ClubbersFanClub: katie couric would never try to interview me
21: She's a chickenshit, I know.
ClubbersFanClub: but would you do her?
21: Yuck, all those teeth....not my type.
ClubbersFanClub: but you'd hump a girl?
21: Nope--I'm into men. Big men, big hands.
21: Hey, who is doing the interviewing?
21: What kind of men are YOU into?
ClubbersFanClub: i'm not into men
21: Katie? Or barbara?
ClubbersFanClub: that's not much of a choice.. that's like who's cooler sandy or almost famous?
21: How about Suzy Kolber? I can fix you up.
ClubbersFanClub: does she give good head?
21: Define good head.
ClubbersFanClub: no teeth, for one
21: Okay, no teeth. back to the Moms, I see.
ClubbersFanClub: you think this will slide past the SportsJournalists.com censors?
21: we'll see. Did you know, if you type c*nt they change it to pussycat?
21: Okay, final thoughts: Bell Biv Devoe…
ClubbersFanClub: bell biv devoe? you want some thoughts....
ClubbersFanClub: you can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night ...
ClubbersFanClub: smack it up, flip it, rub it down....
21: See, you had me at 'do me in the night'
21: Lost me with the smacking.
ClubbersFanClub: i had you when this interview started
21: I got Nelly on the line. Booty call. Gotta go……
ClubbersFanClub: aight...well g'nite

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/posts/2550126/

 

One of the best nights of your life.

 

You, by the end: "ARE WE DONE YET??"

I should have kept the unedited transcript.

 

I'll put you down for a $50 donation to the robe fund.

 

I'll kick in $100 if I get to wear it around the pool before Mayweather's next fight.

 

Wow! Feeling nostalgic...

 

That Interview with 21 is gold. Should we post another masterpiece, "A Day In The Life Of Hockeybeat"

 

Please do. That was always good for a laugh.

 

Somebody cue "Glory Days"

 

Dare I dream of Chris L. and BigDog showing up?