Food/restaurant rant

This whole "Foodie" craze seems to have given rise to people and establishments that are either snobbish about the process of eating or want to make decisions for adults. My examples:

1. Two of my favorite restaurants are P.F. Chang's and Jimmy Johns. But both have made the unilateral decision for me that they will not have salt and pepper on the premises. I love salt and pepper on a lot of things. My blood pressure is normal so bite me. I want to make the choice.

2. I'm tired of having the food snobs (many of whom are family and friends) make snide remarks about the way I happen to want to eat things. Specifically, I will use a fucking fork when I damn well please. I will eat hot pizza with a fork (it's a bit easier when it comes out of the oven at 2,000 degrees). I will eat oriental food with a fork instead of chopsticks. I cannot get more than four kernels of fried rice on a set of chopsticks. I'm not a whiz eating with two fucking sticks. Sue me. But don't imply that I'm somehow degrading the experience by using a fork.

3. Stop telling me I don't know what's good for me because I drink Bud Lite, Mich Ultra, Bud Lite Lime or Corona. Stop telling me I'm drinking crappy beer. It's your opinion and your taste buds vs. mine. I've tried your craft beers. I don't like beer that tastes like apples, wheatfields or maple syrup. Let me drink what the fuck I want without being judgmental.

There, rant over? Anyone else have some favorite peeves in this regard?

 

You obviously also don't like beer that tastes like beer.

 

"Oriental" food?

 

Didn't Jimmy John's do away with salt years ago?

 

You lost me at "Two of my favorite restaurants are P.F. Chang's and Jimmy Johns."

 

There's plenty of salt in their mayo.

 

I don't need to see daily Facebook updates about your exciting digestive cleansing project, thanks.

Keep that shit to yourself, and I do mean that literally, too.

 

Don't feel the need to post a photo of every fucking meal you eat on social media, either.

 

Do you know how much salt is in shitty, processed lunch meats?

P.S. -- I'm with you on chopsticks. Fuck those things.

 

Congrats to Dickie, who has given up ethnic slurs for Lent. #courage

 

I love good food and good wine. Spend far too much of my money on nice dinners and red wine (and luckily most restaurants in my area are BYO). But with the exception of beer snobs, there are very few people more insufferable than foodies and wine snobs.

 

Except vegetarian foodies and wine snobs. They seem to think they're better than the rest of us foodies and wine snobs.