President Trump: The NEW one and only politics thread

Ming-Na O'Malley? Everybody's heard about her.

 

Nah. That could work.

Cute girl: "Hey. Whatcha listening to there?"
YF: "Rush"
Cute girl: "Oh. They're old school, but pretty good, I guess. My Mom likes them. Ha! (Shyly) But I like older guys."
YF: "Then you'll love Rush. Here take an ear bud. No. Loop it through that gauge hole in your lobe so you don't lose it. These cost $3.99. ... Whadya think?"
Cute girl: ".... I think I'm going to take Dick Whitman up on his proposal.

 

Haha. The same Radiolab episode I referenced the other day told the story of the German & British soldiers, who during WWI, worked out an informal morning truce, so each side could enjoy their breakfast.

Eventually some trust built up between the two sides, to the point that they hung out and drank together on Christmas Eve.

They eventually got back to trying to kill each other.

 

You're a lot closer than you know.

 

I think I've told this story before, but my former father-in-law, Jim, is a lovely man who can't help saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

We're at a farm for, like, a hayride and this big picnic. We're all sitting at these great big long tables with all these different families.

There's a one-legged chicken doing circles in the dust near us. Jim looks at the kid across the table and says, "I'll bet that's your favorite chicken here."

"NO!" the kid yells. And he gets up from the table and storms off, his prosthetic leg clanging all the way.

 

She'd'a'hung around if he offered her this.

 

That's called "Europe." The "trying to kill each other" part probably included some idiot officer ordering a full-scale charge into no man's land.

 

I went to a bar once and ran into a woman I knew, who was married but, last I heard, was going through a trial separation and "trying to work things out."

She was being very forward and touchy-feely with me, so I figured it didn't work out and she was back on the market. I started going along with everything she did, and during a break in the music, I went to get us a few drinks.

That's when I saw her husband, just sitting at the bar getting hammered. I said hello and hoped he hadn't seen anything I was doing with his wife. He didn't say anything, so I figured we were far enough away that he couldn't see us.

Fast forward another hour, and I was about to take the wife home with me, and went to the bathroom before we walked home. Her husband was in there.

He then just looked me right in the eye and asked if I was taking his wife home. I stuttered and stammered, and he said, "Look, we're getting divorced, so I don't have a say, but I'd rather she go home with you than any of these other douches." I gave an awkward "thank you" and left. With his wife.

It didn't work out with her, but he and I actually became pretty good friends for a few years.

 

I'm leaving you to your own devices after this, to respect Moddy's wishes and to avoid this thread getting locked. But here's a tip: There are so many ways you could effectively insult me. I am a deeply flawed man, and I have made countless mistakes. Coming at my writing career, after telling me that it's your dream to work where I work, and after you didn't make it, is not the way to do it.

But have it, however you wish to have at it. Just try to keep it down, because the guy in the next cubicle can hear when you start typing too hard, Dick.

 

Oh, I tended to date the separated women whose husbands were stalkers. Got angry phone calls from a couple of them, and a confrontation with another.

 

One time I was really taken by this waitress who had a really pretty smile.

So o worked up the nerve to ask her out and took her to King Henry's Feast. Not sure if that was her idea or mine or if I had a coupon.

Anyway, we settle onto this long wooden table with a bunch of strangers, and as soon as the show starts, they select her to sit on stage with a robe to be the princess.

I sat there through the whole thing just me, strangers and undercooked chicken, watching Henry try to make the moves on my date.

 

Somewhere, Freqposter is reading these stories and shaking his head.