Dear dimwit on the phone

Voicemail left yesterday afternoon:
"Fuck y'all."
<click>

 

A person called asking where the swim results have been. I wasn't in so the managing editor took the call. He said he hadn't seen them. She gave him the dates they ran.

She said he asked, "So what page would they be on? Community news?"

 

My ME is supposed to proof my sports pages, so I send him PDFs of all my pages. Yesterday I included a down page story briefly highlighting a local softball team that went undefeated in a statewide tournament with a three column photo. Sent him the PDFs to proof.

Today he sends me an email about that same team so I can run something in the paper.

I sent him a PDF of the page.

 

All y'all?

 

"Fuck y'all" can be taken as singular or plural, but "fuck all y'all" is unmistakably plural.

 

And with an Oxford comma, it's a totally worthless sentiment.

 

One of our cop reporters shared this with me. He wrote an article about a guy who stabbed and killed his brother.

You must be so proud of your article on the arrest of Stabby Staberger. It's always a feather in your cap when you/Podunk Press can be the first to report.

BUT, do you realize there is a family at stake? Do you realize both these men had parents that cared deeply for them, no matter their circumstances? There was no regard for how the family would feel, when, to their surprise, another family member called them the morning your article hit the paper, to tell them their other son had been arrested. They were just coming to grips that they had lost one son to violence! Then this.

Kudos, you must be laughing behind your desk right now, because, oh well, what's the big deal, they were thugs anyways, right? Thoughtless energy and brainless thoughts. What do you do, sit around listening to the police scanner all day, hoping for "thee" story of the day, so you can walk around, all puffy chested, with your tail feathers sticking out, saying "I got it, it's mine to report"?

I would put yourself in the parents shoes, and hopefully, you will never be in a situation similar to theirs. Until then, try to have a heart, think of others before yourself, and if you are fired for not being the first on a story, then screw the Podunk Press. Have some balls and walk away.

Have a (____) day. You fill in the blank, however you feel.

 

We got the corollary to that today. An 18-year-old girl in the next state over was kidnapped and killed by an escaped inmate, and she had ties to our town. It happened last night, we found out this morning and got the story online around lunchtime. The major metro over there had had it on their website for 12-15 hours by that point and the authorities over there had ID'd the girl and put out a press release.
None of that has stopped people from giving us the "shame on you" speech on Facebook for "posting it too soon."
Soooo ... we're supposed to wait until the community already knows about it, to tell them about it?

 

Dear Mr/Ms. Staberger:

My condolences on the loss of your family member, but perhaps, if you all had done a better job teaching Stabby the difference between right and wrong, we would have spent our time taking pictures of cute puppies instead of writing about your allegedly loser relative.

Sincerely,

Scoops Smith

 

Dear Dimwit AD,

Thanks so much letting me know you finally made a hire for a new volleyball coach. That coach I asked you a week ago if you filled the job? I know how badly you wanted to publicize the program because you sent a passive aggressive text asking about an article you knew I didn't write about the team because I can't be everywhere at once. I mean 4 high schools isn't a lot but there is one of me, no stringers and there are things scheduled at the same time. And it was a scrimmage you were interested in so I know the program means a bunch to you. So it was so nice that I didn't have to go out of my way and actually attend a road game to find out if a new coach had been hired. I mean it saved me so much time and energy.

P.S. Who the fuck can't hire a volleyball coach before the season starts? It's not like the former coach hadn't said she was leaving back in November. Oh wait, she did because I knew last November she wasn't coming back. Oh and POS AD, when I asked around why a hire wasn't made, I got it was because no one likes you, how you run things and that the school has a reputation for being dysfunctional.

Sincerely,
Tired ass Spartan.

 

Me: 'Hello, how can I help you?'
Person: 'Yeah, I was wondering if you new the number for local business.'
Me: looking online, finding it, 'Sure it's..''
Person: 'Hold on, I'm driving and don't have a pen, can I call back?"

 

So annoying. Someone calls to ask for information and then isn't ready to write it down. Not to mention they could have done the same Google search you just did.