First date, post-divorce.

He all but said there was plenty of Stove Top stuffing.

 

So, apologies for taking this to a more maudlin place...

One of the things that happens when you start dating again is that you have this overwhelming worry about "starting over." Like, you gave everything you had to someone, and they came to know you better than anybody, and then it didn't work out. It's like building a house and then burning it down and then trying to find the will to build a new one. It's weirdly stressful, the idea of giving yourself to someone again.

Yesterday, a package arrived at my door. It contained a book. Bird Lives! by Ross Russell.

It took me a second, but my girlfriend and I had gone to see a Basquiat exhibit. There was a room devoted to things that had inspired Basquiat. That book was one of them. I took a picture of it, so that I would remember it, and I said to her that I'd like to get that one day. I'd forgotten, but a couple of weeks later, the book arrives at my door. I've looked at it sitting on my desk probably two dozen times already, and I smile every time.

It's a reminder for me that it's worth trying again. That sense of connection, to be the object of that kind of care, is a fair trade for the fear of being hurt again.

@exmediahack, I don't know where you're at with things, and I know we joke a lot about the sex with you here—and sex is great—but I hope you're feeling okay about everything, and if you ever don't, if you ever feel like you're at the bottom of a mountain that's too big to climb, remember that it's worth the effort, that someone out there will more than reward you in exchange for everything that you might feel, in your lower moments, that you can no longer risk. You can.

 

Wow, that's a great post, typefitter! Captures the psychology and sentimentality.

Now let's get back to the play by play man.

 

Here's a book of poems i got
From a girl i used to know
I guess i read it front to back
Fifty times or so
It's all about the good life
And stayin' at ease with the world
It's funny how i love that book
And i never loved that girl

 

What a great song.

 

One of my very favorites. I love that line about loving the book, but never loving the girl who gave it to him.

 

Who invited the geeks?

 

I came back from a late night
with my friends you were out of town.
So I took off my shoes and I took off my coat
and I took a look around.

Looked at all the book shelves
just like I like to do.
And I saw a little note
some other girl wrote to you.

It said "Baby, baby would you read a poem I picked for you?
I know you're sensitive but would you think about my boobs?"

 

You're Hansen's disease.

 

Starting over? Ugh. Not gonna even bother.

It started so mysterious
a message from beyond
the bounds of my paralysis
Her words a magic wand

Though out of sight but not of mind
each night we'd share our thoughts
that through it all and in due time
we'd offer what we sought

The truth is not an accident
It's more a living thing
that's sometimes stretched and often bent
It soothes but also stings

Proceeding at the speed of light
we wanted nothing more
than for our lives to fit just right
Our minds set to ignore

I'd never known of times like this
I'd taken liberty
to put aside the nothingness
A strange reality

The truth is not an accident
It's more a living thing
that's sometimes stretched and often bent
It soothes but also stings

Eventu'lly a leap of fate
requires solid ground
on which to plant and clean the slate
By hist'ry we are bound.

On many days it felt like peace
Uncertainty did fade
into a place my mind had leased
And for a while it stayed

We flirted with our memories
Resolve would come and go
'tween sacrifice and enemies
Indiff'rence bled us slow

When said and done no mystery
It quickly came to pass
that only ends are meant to be
Mirages never last

I won't be chasing dreams no more;
I won't be seeking skirts
If you're blind to the finish line,
you'll find out where it hurts
I won't be chasing dreams no more;
think I'll just settle in
I'll bide my time and I'll be fine
not to begin again