Things that irk you......

You went to school with Robert Wagner?

 

Best seven years of your life, right?

 

Fucking ticks. Feels like I popped a huge pimple on the side of my chest and it's fucking annoying. That fucker got on me through a big jacket and a long t-shirt.

 

I've got to weigh in a little on this.
'Best practices' is more succinct than any of those other phrases.

 

Fucking tics. Goddamn motherfucking Tourette's.

 

Takeout places that don't automatically put napkins in your bag or plastic cutlery if the meal necessitates it. I'm so accustomed to getting napkins that I don't even think to stop by the stand to grab them on my way out. And yesterday I was working through lunch and ordered out a cobb salad -- which came and didn't even have a fork. We need exacting standards on the dissemination of napkins and cutlery, people!

 

Subway is the worst about this. You get a sloppy, saucy 12-inch behemoth of a sandwich. And like one napkin.

There's a great "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode about napkin nazis.

 

Plus they don't have napkins available on the counter so you have to ask the busy sandwich artists if you want more.

 

Right. It's the worst! It's clearly part of the business model.

 

People are ditching Subway, and franchisees expect a wave of store closures — here's what went wrong

And they might wanna change that model.

 

I hate the manufactured "Welcome" when you walk in the door. Sounds like they just woke up. Very sincere. The employees don't even look up when they say it. Recently, we were already inside and another employee walked in the front door. Those behind the counter didn't look up, droning: "Welcome." Great, they're welcoming the avocado slicer/bathroom cleaner to work.

 

Reminds me of those stores like Starbucks that say "Next guest, please." Guest? Which bedroom is mine? I get that it's supposed to be ingratiating, but guest is not a synonym for customer.