President Trump: The NEW one and only politics thread

Your dad talks in his sleep

 

Trump's Gridiron speech he will give on Saturday.

I love gridiron. Football is just great. American football. Not soccer, which is popular in England. The media in England also treats me very unfairly. Almost as bad as here. The other day, I visited Fort Knox. It had almost as much gold as Trump Tower, that I can tell you. Fort Knox was named after Chuck Knox. He was a football coach. Great coach. Seahawks. Chuck Fairbanks was also a football coach. Patriots. They're owned now by Bob Kraft who is a very good friend of mine. I used to own a football team. The best football team to ever play in that state, I will tell you that. They were tremendous, terrific. Not like today's players of course. Those sons of bitches kneel during the national anthem. What a disgrace. Probably all of them are friends the guy who used to have my job. You know who I am talking about. But we don't like to talk about him. Do we folks?

 

May have avoided another one:

 

How did a 13-year-0ld get his hands on that gun?

 

Band name. Got to be.

 

Holy crap, there really is a place by that name.

Guns R Us - 705 Pondella Rd. #H, North Fort Myers, FL 33901

 

"Fairbanks was coach of the team that I bought. But before I got there, he only went 6-12 with that best football team to ever play in that state because he wouldn't give the ball to Herschel Walker enough. Can you believe that?

So I met Chuck Fairbanks, and said, 'You're fired.' Tried to bring in Don Shula. An absolute legend. But he wanted an apartment in my Trump Tower. I told him that I don't live next door with my hired help, folks, so he stayed in Miami. Did he ever get another championship with the Dolphins, folks? Of course not. He had Dan Marino and never won another championship. I would have gotten him a championship.

Hired Walt Michaels, great coach. He gave Herschel the ball, and one year, he gained over 3,500 yards rushing. We made the playoffs both times. But the other owners in my league were small potatoes. They kept wanting to play in the spring. I wanted to Make the USFL Great Again, so I told them we needed to be in the fall.

We would have been yuugge playing against those sons of bitches in the other league. But Little John Bassett Hound and Chubby Chet Simmons weren't all-in, and our league failed because of those losers. I had Herschel, Doug Flutie, and I would have had Jim Kelly too. It would have been yuugge. We would have been yuugger than the '86 Mets."

 

Totally sane country.

 

Well, the Generals have been undefeated since 1985.

 

Isn’t Canada in the midst of debating a possible extension of euthanasia for children?

 

the Trump border wall is not a very high priority for his base.
* a plurality of voters agreed with Pelosi about tax cut "crumbs