Don't mess with crazy old people, or felony is the best policy (Part I)

When I was around 10 or 11 (mid-1980s), I visited my aunt and cousins. We went to a playground, where a kid, maybe 7 or 8, knocked my youngest cousin, who was 2 or 3 at the time, to the ground purposely. My aunt ran over, grabbed the offender, screamed in his face that he was to never touch her son again, and proceeded to spank him on the butt multiple times. We left shortly thereafter.

My aunt commented later that she was lucky she didn’t get arrested.

 

Did Gwen ever consider filing harassment charges against the old lady for following her out to the parking lot?

 

This is why I love this forum so much, because you are all people who use reasoning and ask questions for a living. When you're a rational, stable, logical human being suddenly faced with a situation that is irrational, unstable and illogical, it's easy for me in retrospect to say, "What the hell was I thinking?" But I was applying 57 years of professional coping skills against two paranoid, demented, vengeful old people with guns -- which means I had no frame of reference from which to draw.

Yes, you now know the why and the how. The "what" of jail time is extremely difficult to write, not because I don't remember it but completely the opposite. As a trained reporter, you're constantly aware of everything and your brain is always recording. My biggest issue three years on now is that I cannot forget what happened, particularly from a psychological standpoint rather than physical one -- it really does resemble a mild form of PTSD, according to the therapist I saw afterward -- and I've become way more paranoid and anxious since.

I drive by the detention center on the way to the supermarket and know exactly what's going on inside there. Every time I hear a car on the gravel driveway, it could very well be law enforcement putting me back in jail again. Every time I'm in a store, I'm constantly on the lookout for elderly people who may resemble them -- you'll find this odd, but I never got an actual look at the man's face -- because they could claim I'm violating the restraining order. And even though I'm on unsupervised (edit: probation), my record will show during any routine traffic stop and could raise serious red flags.

The therapist basically put it this way: "You're no longer a privileged white guy. Welcome to the rest of society."

Let me answer each one of you ...

Regan: I had so many opportunities to realize what was happening and never did the smart thing. I'm trying to make sure those three minutes don't define the rest of my life.

qtlaw: I was prepared to go all Perry Mason but my attorney wisely said, "A conviction will ruin you. You don't want to take that chance." Technically, I never pled guilty, so this will be erased from my record, with the exception of the felony arrest (which will only show to law enforcement).

Swingline: Yeah, you can basically blow away anyone who steps on your property in Georgia and use "I was defending myself" as a legal defense.

cyclingwriter2: I have completely stopped making any motions or hand gestures in the car while I'm driving, or reacting to anyone in a public place. If someone yells at me, I turn the other way. Fool me once, ...

Evil: Yeah, the ramp-up from neighborhood disagreement to misdemeanor to multiple felonies was surreal. In fact, the whole damn thing has been surreal since May 31, 2014. Even the deputies who arrested me mentioned how nice my motorhome is, and I STILL never got an answer as to why it bothers them so much!

cjericho: Aha! Good for you. Yeah, my attorney wanted to know that answer as well. DA said it was "for medical expenses incurred." My attorney asked for a complete accounting and billing statements, to which the DA had no answer. And boy, did that set off the old lady at the hearing -- because they were banking on getting a payday in addition to ruining my life. The judge finally had to tell her she had no further rights once we had agreed to a sentence.

Honestly, I was more concerned about a civil suit than a criminal one. I assumed they'd want money to make things go away, but the statute of limitations is 36 months, whereas the assault on an elderly person is 15 years. So once May 31, 2016 came and went, their ability to sue me evaporated.

And yes, my attorney cost quite a bit. But saving me $30,000, and basically getting a hard slap on the wrist in terms of felony sentencing, made it worth it.

Baron: Society has changed so much. My parents would think nothing of punishing my friends for bad behavior, or my friend's parents would do the same to me if I acted up at their houses. Gwen just retired from elementary school teaching, and teachers are frightened to even hug children for fear of getting reprimanded, sued or even arrested.

And yeah, we asked my attorney whether Gwen or I could file counter-charges, but his opinion was that I had initiated the second confrontation, particularly with the trespass, which negated any legal action we could take. Had I shrugged it off initially and called the sheriff myself, at least we would have had some standing had the old lady pursued it further.

After I got out, I made a special pad for the motorhome that is parallel to the street as close as the covenants will allow, so they have to look right at it every time they exit or enter the neighborhood, particularly in the winter when the leaves are gone. And from what I know, they're still alive. That's the first thing I check every Thursday when the local paper comes out -- I flip to the obits.

I promise to suck it up and write the actual jail piece.

 

Get busy living, or get busy writing.

 

Fascinating and crazy story. I am glad you made it out of this ordeal in one piece. I’ve had a few select circumstances in my life where I’ve had the opportunity to get into a physical altercation with somebody. However, I’m also a former Golden Gloves heavyweight champion in real life, and I have a pretty good idea what would happen if I layed hands on somebody, so I’ve always walked away or diffused the situation (even though a few times I wished I’d just have taken a swing). Your story helps keep in perspective what can go wrong when things escalate with an idiot who has nothing to lose.

 

@maumann as one of the original requesters of your story, thanks for sharing. Crazy — another side effect of ridiculous SYG laws that have led to the unnecessary deaths of too many. Glad you’re well, all things considered.

 

I can’t be the only one dying to see the follow up post about what the jail time was like. I have enjoyed reading all of maumann’s posts and feel like this will be unlike anything I’ve read before. I hope none of this sounds callous.

 

I also want the jail piece, but I get how that might be a hard place for @maumann to return. I don't know about anybody else, but this has served as a good cautionary tale for me. I could easily end up in the same spot, doing the same thing. I told my girlfriend the story over dinner last night and asked me to be my minder, should a similar situation arise.

 

Worst case scenario:
Several years ago, I covered a Castle Doctrine shooting... Kid got into an argument with a neighbor. Followed him to his house to continue argument, Guy tries to shut the door, kids wedged his foot in the door and tried to get into the house. He got shot wit a 4/10 in the gut. Guy had a the gun sitting by the door. Kid died in the door jam. He was 19. The guy who did the shooting, 30-something guy, was never charged, muchless arrested.
He was shamed/fearful enough he left the area. The family with the dead kid went off the rails. The younger brother developed a drug problem and has a petty rap sheet, in and out of jail no for going on 10 years. The mom and dad got a divorce and dad has gone off the rails. He still lives in the house, has signs around the yard in memory of his son and talks to himself and his chickens.

You're lucky @maumann ... In a wicked, twisted, ironic sort of way.

 

So, basically: Don't stand your ground; instead, turn the other cheek. And don't ever trust anything about public office/government.

That's what I got out of that. Wow.

The myriad ways in which people can infringe on and even ruin other people's lives is mind-boggling, the fact that they are so willing to consciously and unnecessarily do it sickening.

And also part of why our court system is such a mess.

 

And throw in the fact that the poor and indigent do not get the same representation as the more fortunate.

 

Really appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences over these threads, @maumann. I get plenty of stories from jail being married to a defense attorney, but it's amazing to hear it in a first-person perspective from a person with such an agile mind and accomplished writing ability.

The thing I do in anger that could get me in this sort of trouble is a penchant for giving other drivers the middle finger when angry on the road. I recently had a driver get angry enough after my display to follow closely, turn for turn, for about 25 miles before I could shake him. And it shook me, realizing how my ego and anger could get me into a jackpot I'd never intended to enter. It's amazing how something you do in a small fit of anger can escalate into a life-changing incident.