Muh Muh Muh My Corona (virus)

"Can an uninsured pregnant woman get the test in order to protect her unborn baby?"

 

No member of the professional media should ever address this rent-a-slut without prefacing it, "look bitch, you speak when you're spoken to. Now answer my question and you be fuckin' snappy about it."

 

Kill the socialist mother and sell the fetus to a republican. That’s capitalism.

 

The Timeline Timeline: How the new coronavirus spread

Jan. 7th. China identified the virus and went public.

Jan. 11. First death.

Jan. 22. 17 deaths, 550 reported infections.

Jan. 23 Wuhan quarantined.

Jan. 24. 26 dead, 830 infected.

Jan. 26. 56 dead, 2,000 infected. New cases were confirmed in the US, Taiwan, Thailand, Japan and South Korea.

Jan. 27 "As of January 27, the death toll in China rose to 106, with 100 in Hubei province, authorities reported. Another 4,515 people in China were reported to be infected. There were 2,714 confirmed cases in Hubei province, up from 1,423 the day before."

The best current count I see is that there have been 3,462 deaths and 101,872 cases worldwide.


The first death in the U.S. was on Feb. 29th. Seven days ago. Where China was on Jan. 11, except that we know that we already have community spread (that is, cases who did not have direct contact with someone who was exposed overseas), and that there are already cases in many widely separated parts of the country.

As of today, we have 14 dead and 225 confirmed cases in the U.S., roughly equivalent to where China was on Jan. 22, except that the cases are not confined mostly to one province.


But what the hell, it's just like the flu.

 

Susan Collins Unable to Decide Whether to Wash Hands



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins, of Maine, has not decided whether she will wash her hands in response to the coronavirus outbreak, Collins confirmed on Friday.

Speaking to reporters at the Capitol, Collins said that she was “deeply troubled” by the behavior of the covid-19 virus.

“The behavior of the coronavirus is, to me, profoundly disturbing,” she said. “Whether it rises to the level of something I should respond to by washing my hands is a question I am devoting a great deal of thought to right now.”

Collins said that she had set “no timetable” for deciding whether to wash her hands, stressing that it was a decision “I do not take lightly.”

As of press time, Collins was spotted standing outside a Senate washroom, seemingly immobilized.

 

Why are there so few reported cases in children?

 

Because this virus seems to hit old people worst?

 

My point is the virus is holding a few cards close to its vest.

That it's not attacking children would appear to be part of a diagnostic solution.

These are questions the fat moron ought to be asking in those showy CDC visits, not whether a flu shot will do the trick.

 

Maybe kids are vectors. We don't fucking know- even though the crisis has been a known thing for six weeks.

 

Jesus, you old bitch, don't you wash your hands fairly often in the course of a day anyway?

(I do, I'm sure, at least a dozen times a day; much more if I'm doing something in a dirty-dusty environment or fixing food.)

Accosted by the media coming out of a restroom, can't your razor-sharp senatorial mind come up with, "yeah, I washed my hands, with soap, in hot water, 15 seconds ago, as I always do"??

I mean, is that that tough?

 

Satire from the Borowitz Report
Not the news.