President Trump: The NEW one and only politics thread

To East Rutherford. It’s not like he would be much worse than Gase.

 

The Federal Republic of Trumplandia

 

I mean, you don't have to be in the United States to be in the NCAA. Simon Fraser U. in British Columbia, Canada is in Division II, along with their unfortunate nickname, the Clan.

 

Biggest fucking pussy ever, may he die choking on his vomit

 

In terms of after dinner drinks, what pairs with a nice schadenfreude?

 

Quarter Pounder

 

I want Joe to come out like Ric Flair:

"Donald Trump, to be the man, you have to beat the man, and I'm the best thing going today. I'm stylin' and profilin' - whoo - all the way from Wilmington, Delaware to Washington, DC. I've been doing it for years. -Whoo- Air Force One and The Beast - whoo - Ice cream and Rosary Beads. On Jan. 20. The National Mall. - Whoo - I'm gonna be sworn in as U.S. President. Melanie Trump, if you want to ride Space Mountain - whoo - buy a ticket to Disney World because I wouldn't touch your skanky ass."

 

I am never *not* going to like a Douglas Adams reference.

 

Strychnine

 

'Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all through the White House
Not a creature was stirring, not even Melania Knauss;
The redhats were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the Supreme Court soon would spare
The militia men plotted in their sheds;
While visions of revolution danced in their heads;
And Rudy's hair dye running like a tree's sap,
His boss acting like an angry baby in need of a nap,
When out on the South lawn there arose such a clatter,
Marine guards checked to see what was the matter.
Jared and Ivanka stopped for a moment, pockets full of cash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a psycho and eight senators quivering in fear,
Stood a pathetic old man, a right-wing pr*ck
Worshipped in states as red as the clothes of St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his toadies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Marco! now, Joni! now Kelly and Lindsey!
On, Cotton! on, Marsha! on, Tillis and Hawley!"

 

LOL.