The Academy Awards

Screw that.

 

Jokes and tweets and opinions aside, there's a lot to be said about the male condition in that interaction.

We are violent beings. I can't come close to articulating it the way it needs to be articulated.

I just know that a man insulted another man's wife.

And something violent happened spontaneously ... like the big bang ... and the man whose wife was insulted walked onto the stage, up to the man who just insulted his wife in front of the entire fucking planet, and slapped his face, then turned around with a millisecond's worth of smirk, walked back down the stage and sat down again.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in Chris Rock's soul right now. Will Smith's too. But Rock really.

 

Good thing we cut a shit out so we still have a program that went past three and a half hours

 

My thoughts, for what it's worth...

1. Making a joke about an actress with alopecia by comparing her to a character in a forgettable 25 year old movie is pretty lame. If I'm Chris Rock right now, I think I'm particularly angry that I got slapped on live TV for such a weak and generally indefensible joke.

2. The Smith family has spent their careers oversharing on every aspect of their lives. I mean, I don't care about any of them and I know all about their sex life. To then shift to "Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth" doesn't really work. They've spent years doing everything they could to be the couple people talked about.

3. Will Smith looks like he learned to slap someone by watching movies from the 40s.

 

Serves everyone right for watching the equivalent of a bowling league banquet.

 

Another one.

 

The View should be lively this week.

 

Is tomorrow one of the 40 days a year Howard Stern works? It would be cool to hear from Rock.